I need sleep!

**tickle** · 06-11-2005 16:41

Hi all!
I would really like some advice, any advice on my DS (not so dear at the moment though!

)
We sometimes co sleep, sometimes he will sleep in his cot. The co sleeping thing is just not happening any more. There is just not room in that be for 3 of us and I would really like to start to move him into his cot.
Is there anyway you can get a child, put them in the cot and they just magically fall asleep?? He fights and fights and fights. If I put him in and if he whinges I leave him but I always go to him if he cries. So basically I put him down, pick him up, put him down, pick him up. This continues a few times and eventually (usually) he goes to sleep.
Do you think he will give in eventually and get the picture??
I used to put him in the cot and if he wouldn't go to sleep in there, I would normally lie down with him in my bed. But lately he just wants to play, constantly!!
I dream of the day I put him down and he just goes to sleep. Am I living in La La Land??
My other problem is he gets up as soon as the sun is slightly up. He is usually awake by 5am, even though we go to bed at 9pm.
I really want to get this sorted by the time this next baby comes (6months) and basically I am really tired and would love any suggestions.
Thanks!

**nemosmum** · 06-11-2005 16:54

I thought Id post a reply as Oliver is 10 days younger than Orlando so I figure I have ten more days experience at sleep/settling LOL

When I say "Its nigh, nigh time" Orlando runs his podgy little legs into his bedroom grabs his doll and his wrap and waits patiently beside his cot, I pop him in and his out like a light (6.30pm till 5.30 am) am I helping??? LOL I didnt think so

Sorry

Your post got me thinking and Im trying hard to remember how we got DS into such a lovely calm routine and the only thing I can think of is consistency......we have been doing the same things since he was 11 months or so, so his had a good 6 months practice!

Do what works for you and Oliver, if that means rocking him to sleep, bf or ff (Do people ff to sleep?) to sleep, patting him etc but try and be consistant and Im sure your smart little man will get the idea. Besides in 6 months time when your new bub arrives his sleep will probably change again, and then he'll move into a big bed

Sarah

ps I hope you both get a good nights sleep soon

**tickle** · 06-11-2005 17:09

Originally Posted by orlandosmum

I thought Id post a reply as Oliver is 10 days younger than Orlando so I figure I have ten more days experience at sleep/settling LOL

When I say "Its nigh, nigh time" Orlando runs his podgy little legs into his bedroom grabs his doll and his wrap and waits patiently beside his cot, I pop him in and his out like a light (6.30pm till 5.30 am) am I helping??? LOL I didnt think so

Sorry

Oh, you cheeking bugger you!
We have always had night time rituals, I guess you'd call them, but Oliver doesn't care!! We usually do the dinner, bath, teeth, book, bed. He happily co operates with all besides the bed bit.

Cheeky bugger!!!

**rynosmum** · 06-11-2005 21:41

Hi Oliversmum,

I'd like to detail our bedtime routine with my 17 month old but it appears that he will look like an Orlando-clone as our experience is the same as Sarah's for the most part.

If I go away for a couple of days (I go to Sydney for work for 3 days every 3 months), the routine changes slightly - DH lets him get away with a bit more and so I end up chasing him around and around the loungeroom trying to catch him and put him to bed. I then have to CC him for a night to get back into the swing of things. Ry still has two big sleeps (about 1.5 - 2.5 hours each) per day, goes to bed at about 6:30/7 and is up at 5:30 on the dot. If he is teething, he's usually up a bit earlier.

Is Oliver still having day sleeps and could you cut any of these out at all ?
After bath, Ry has a bottle of milk in a darkened room (although the TV is on). This generally makes him quite sleepy - he's also slept better since getting a pillow in his cot.

Don't know if any of this is helping ?

**cwsmum** · 06-11-2005 21:49

Maybe when he cries after you put him in bed instead of going in and picking him up, leave him standing in the cot and give him a cuddle to calm him down then tell him it's bed time, or whatever you want to call it, lay him back down and tuck him in again. He'll soon realise you aren't going to come in and pick him up and will go to sleep. Once you have been doing this for a while, then you can get a bit 'meaner' and only give him cuddles the first time he cries and just tuck him back in without talking to him if he cries after that. I know that might sound mean to some people, but it worked for my DS (2.5 rys old) and now he goes to sleep most nights without getting out of bed for anything

Good luck

I hope you start getting more sleep soon

**tickle** · 07-11-2005 06:34

Thanks for your responses!
Basically if I let him cry, he gets absolutely hysterical and seems to be scarred by it for days afterwards and follows me everywhere, worried I am going to disappear.
We usually have a milk in his sippy cup with only a lamp on before bed as part of our rituals but it doesn't seem to make any difference. The trouble all started when DH had to work a lot and was never home to give him a bath, milk etc. He has just continued with it, even though DH is at home??!!
He still has 2 day time sleeps of usually 1 hour and then 1.5 hours, but seems to be trying to cut out the afternoon one, but because he gets up so darn early the morning one doesn't last til bed time. Hence he crashed at 5pm yesterday (must admit, I was just glad he was asleep).
I don't think he is very well at the moment as he woke up screaming last night and had a slight temp. I will see how it goes, maybe everything will settle when he is feeling better??!!

Thanks!

**carls** · 07-11-2005 07:25

I used to watch a program in the UK which was similar to supernanny, and she dealt with this problem, with good results.

It was exactly the same situation as yours - pick up, put down over and over again. It never got any better because he expected it. She taught the mum to go in there when he cried, pick him up, soothe him, lay him down. I think she did it twice. Then when he stood up and cried the next time she would just stroke his head or back, and not say anything. She let him stand there and cry.

Then she sat down on the floor, not facing him or speaking to him, but just to let him know that she was there.

He screamed and screamed and she still sat there and said nothing.

Eventually he went to sleep.

Over a period of nights she kept doing this and moved further and further towards the door (still sitting on the floor) until she was outside the door, and it worked. As the nights went by he grew less and less grizzly and a lot calmer.

It was hard for the first few nights because she couldnt bear to not pick him up, but all he needed to know was that she was around.

Hope this helps!

**tickle** · 07-11-2005 07:35

Thanks for the suggestions but I really don't want to let him cry as I know it just makes him worse. I have tried being in there and patting etc, but it just frustrates him to no end and he gets extremely upset.
I think I am going to get a porta cot today and put it in our room. I think this might help.
Wish me luck!!

**nemosmum** · 07-11-2005 10:12

Hi Ellen,

How was you night? I hope you all got a good sleep

I hate to hear O cry too so I know where your coming from, try the porto cot and see if that helps coz you said that his used to co sleeping sometimes. He may just want to be near you and DH, which I think is great as they grow up too quick!

But like I said before, experiment with things and see what works. Hopefully he'll get into a lovely routine before your bub arrives as then you'll have more sleepless nights

Chin up they say no two children are the same so maybe your next bub will be a BIG sleeper Yah!

Sarah

**JanetF** · 07-11-2005 14:13

if I let him cry, he gets absolutely hysterical and seems to be scarred by it for days afterwards and follows me everywhere, worried I am going to disappear.

That's exactly what happens to lots of babies who are left to cry. Well done for spotting it!

How about putting your cot against your bed with the side down? That increased the room in our bed enormously. If ds sleeps in between us, my bum fits in the cot (there's room left over

) and if ds sleeps in the cot there's plenty room in the bed. Just put the cot against the wall, take the side off facing the bed, jam the bed against it. Some people like to join the legs together but I have a heavy bed and haven't found that necessary. I cosleep with just ds and dp is allowed in now and then. I slept much better with just one of them and since dp doesn't need booby in the middle of the night, he now gets to sleep in our lovely waterbed. Leaves an adult-sized bed free when there's a sleeping baby too, if you get my drift

Many babies just need to be parented to sleep, it's perfectly normal, it doesn't mean they'll never put themselves to sleep. I hope you can get some relief soon. Maybe check out the heaps of links I put up on gentle sleep resources.