Really need to go back but how?

**only1mica** · 29-12-2006 14:37

Hi all

I know there are heaps of questions like this but...
I am interested in how all you fine mummas do it. I have a 5 month old and really need to go back to work....well financially I should have gone back when Eve was a week old but somehow we have come this far...but now we dont even have any savings

So i really need to go back.

the issues I have are
a) bub is still fully breastfed...she doesnt take the bottle from anyone but me. I know she will start solids soon but even then she will have to feed while I am working. I have come too far with bfing to just give it up because I have to work.

b) sleeping...Eve is a shocker with sleep. She has to be in her cot for her to have more than 40mns...even then sometimes she only has short naps.
We have a 3-4hrly feed, play, sleep routine. If we are home it is more 4 hourly but when we are out its 3 hourly because she only sleeps for 30-40 mins. And i worry that she will be really unsettled cause she will only have short sleeps.

When she has stayed with gradparents she is always unsettled. They all think that she is an unhappy baby...but is just when they see her she is usually due to sleep and then if she naps she hasnt had enough.

my father refers to her as 'the crying baby' as you could imagine this makes me upset cause I know thats not how she really is. And its hard because he would be helping my mum look after her.

I am really interested to hear if you have overcome these issues how you did it.

Thanks for reading this huge post!!!

Any advice would be helpful

Mic

**mum2peanut** · 29-12-2006 18:20

I don't ahev any advice for you. I wanted to see what advice you would get as I'm in a similar boat. Back to work in a month for financial reasons, but DD is super clingy and won't really go to anyone. She's going to daycare one day, and my mum and sis will have her one day each also. very concerned and stressed out about it.

**rynosmum** · 29-12-2006 18:36

I went back to fulltime work when my DS was just shy of 5 months. I still breastfed him morning and night and expressed for the day which was quite tough.

Find a good daycare centre. The girls who looked after my DS had him drinking out of a bottle when I couldn't. He also settled there really well.

It does work out but it is absolutely one of the most gut wrenching decisions you will ever make.

**Becteria** · 29-12-2006 18:40

i went back when maikyra was 6 weeks old

!My DH stayed home with her for 6 months.

Re BF - I pumped until i got jack of it (2 months) and then she had FF in the day and BF when i was with her. I didnt have any probs doing that for another 7 months.

Daycares are great with babies, dont worry too much they will probably do a better job then any relative 1) because they are trained and paid well to do it and 2) because they have the support of the other staff. I have never seen the women at my DDs stressed or frazzled.

Make sure your work is flexible; if you need to leave then dont feel guilty like i did - your DDis number 1 priority.

She will get used to having other carers than just you, it may do her the world of good.

Biggest piece of advice i can give is DONT FEEL GUILTY! You got this much time in; good on you for trying...

**melbryan** · 29-12-2006 18:45

My bubs is nearly 5 mths and I am back to work at the end of Jan. Ds2 is a great baby but extra clingy. I have decided to give him to the carer I am using for a few hours 2 days each week to get him used to her and other kids. She is great and I have had Ds1 with her since 6 mths full time ( he is now 2.5 yrs). He was how you described your baby, he didn't sleep cried alot but he soon settled and I found I could better deal with him the few hours I had him. I really needed to break away from him asi started to resent him.
Ds2 is a great baby and I will be much sadder when I leave him but i am only working part time(which I haven't done before) so I am really looking forward to those days with my boys. It's the sacrifice we have to make and I am fine with it.
Feel free to PM me if you need to ask anything.

**AshleyG** · 05-01-2007 16:36

I am not a parent (yet) but working in long day child care for over 8 years running the nursery. My suggestion is to just give it a go! If you find a great child care centre (as they all should be but lets be realistic) they will be flex. in relation to eve's routine. I have been in the situation before (more than once) where I was able to give a baby a bottle when mum had been fairly sure that they wouldn't take it from anyone else - It just takes a lot of calmness and patients. Is going in to give a bf at lunch time an option? Otherwise express or use formula while at the centre and bf at home.

Okay I'm starting to babble but I guess what I am trying to say is that good carers should have the knowledge and the patients to support you, your transition back to work and Eve's transition into care.

It may be bumpy at the start but children can adapt to the difference between child care and home - ie even if things aren't excactly the same in care it doesn't mean your rountine has to change at home.

I'll stop now - Good luck and my main suggestion is to share your concerns with Eve's new carers as they should be simpathetic and accomodating!

x Ash

ps the next time they refer to her as the crying baby I would very politly tell them that babies cry for a reason and if she is crying perhaps it's her surroundings that could improve!

**nelly75** · 13-01-2007 18:38

I prefer childcare centres to leaving my kids with relatives etc. because they are really good at working to your childs routine and if she isn't settling they will persist until she does rather than panicking and calling you at work etc.

Try orientation at a daycare before you go back to work, you take your baby in and then you go out of the room when she is settled and see how she goes, you can do this for a couple of days before enrolling her in.

**jessgray** · 13-01-2007 19:28

my ds1 went to day care at 9.5 months old and we did a breif oreintation, it was really spose to help hiom settle but i think i got more out of it (i was a bit wary on leaving him for even half an hour at this stage

)there was tears from me btu ds1 settled in and he ahsnt been to day care since october but he remembers the routine he had there and we follow it, he has his meals round the same times.
kids learn the day care routiens so fast