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  1. #11
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    There's already some great advice here.

    Just letting you know for us at the 4 month mark was the hardest and darkest part- sleep deprivation had totally destroyed me, dd2 still totally dependent and dd1 was still struggling.

    She's lived on cereal for 6 months and she's ok.

    Hugs binni I wish there was something more I could do for you. It will get easier. I promise.

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  3. #12
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    Default Help! Mums of 2 or more under 4 how do you cope?

    Aaah me too! DS is 8 weeks & DD is 2.5. I'm struggling right now. Yesterday I was wondering why I felt so rotten until I realised at 2pm I hadn't eaten since 6am.
    I've decided we're going into survival mode until Xmas now all the term time activities are finished. I'm going to let DD watch too much TV and send her outside to play independently when it's not too hot.
    Daycare twice a week and my cleaner are my saving grace. My cleaner only costs $50 a week maybe you could afford that?
    How do you all manage bedtimes? 50% of the time I do it solo as DH is at work - so far no matter how organised I am the wheels always fall off at bedtime, DS decides to scream his head off while I'm trying to read stories. He's not happy to feed or be in the carrier while I'm sitting reading! He likes to feed lying down for a good 40 min before going to sleep right at DD's bedtime. Then of course DD wants attention & everybody ends up agitated.
    Just know you're not alone
    ETA: we're in leap 2 right now and I'm dreading the 4 month leap, it almost broke me when I had 1 not sure how to deal with it with 2.

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  5. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by rosey82 View Post
    Aaah me too! DS is 8 weeks & DD is 2.5. I'm struggling right now. Yesterday I was wondering why I felt so rotten until I realised at 2pm I hadn't eaten since 6am.
    I've decided we're going into survival mode until Xmas now all the term time activities are finished. I'm going to let DD watch too much TV and send her outside to play independently when it's not too hot.
    Daycare twice a week and my cleaner are my saving grace. My cleaner only costs $50 a week maybe you could afford that?
    How do you all manage bedtimes? 50% of the time I do it solo as DH is at work - so far no matter how organised I am the wheels always fall off at bedtime, DS decides to scream his head off while I'm trying to read stories. He's not happy to feed or be in the carrier while I'm sitting reading! He likes to feed lying down for a good 40 min before going to sleep right at DD's bedtime. Then of course DD wants attention & everybody ends up agitated.
    Just know you're not alone
    ETA: we're in leap 2 right now and I'm dreading the 4 month leap, it almost broke me when I had 1 not sure how to deal with it with 2.
    Put everyone in your bed...lie down to feed your baby, read to your 2.5 year old. Then transfer out once baby is asleep.

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  7. #14
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    Have a 3, 5 and newborn and totally agree with babyg4's schedule - get them worn out in the morning, when (hopefully) you feel ok & have energy too, then they won't be whingey and clinging for attention and you can all have a couple hours rest after lunch time. That and caffeine is about the only way the days are manageable.

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  9. #15
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    When we had no 3 we bit the bullet and hired a cleaner -even just once a fortnight it helped with my sanity sooooo much. We just skimped on other stuff whilst we had the cleaner.

    After that we bought a Roomba - big investment but meant that I could go for a shop and the floor was vacuumed. Then DH would do a mop b4 bed and we'd be set.

    Does your partner help much? Can he do some extra stuff around the stuff until it gets a bit easier?

    We found that we were washing dishes and what not at 11pm - that's what time we had. We kept telling ourselves that this would pass, and we gave ds1 chores to help out with.. Just small stuff like taking the rubbish out, stacking the dishwasher.

    Having 3 under 4 is super tough. If it's any consolation, try to remember that lots of people have done it and come out the other side.

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  11. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Full House View Post
    Put everyone in your bed...lie down to feed your baby, read to your 2.5 year old. Then transfer out once baby is asleep.
    Thank you this was my thought too, I'm just a bit worried as DD is very routine orientated and any deviation from our usual routine (stories in the 'cuddle chair' in her room) sends her a bit off balance. Might try piling us all into her bed tonight, see how it goes.

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  13. #17
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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    I had three under two, for a few months. It was chaos. I learnt how to do any housework, as quickly as possible. I often vacuumed at night, I even hung out washing at night. I would just clean stuff as soon as I noticed it, so very often it was 'a lick and a promise' sort of job. Dinner was prepared in the middle of the day or early afternoon, so the 'witching hour' could be spent with unsettled babies. The best advice is just to take one day at a time. If you manage to get something done then pat yourself on the back, if you didn't, then don't stress, there is always tomorrow. This time does pass quickly, so things really do get better. hugs marie.

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  15. #18
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    Thanks so much everyone. There some really achievable ideas here for me - i make DH's lunch every night and (slap to the head) will clearly need to make something for myself too!

    There's a reason the wheels have fallen off. Until now DS3 has always been in the carrier and I haven't had the cleanest house in town but it's been bearable. On Monday he had his vax and development check. Well his hips are out so we have to have a scan to see where to go from there. As I went to leave, naturally going to pop him back in the carrier the dr says to me - no, best to keep him out of that until we know what's what. FML I nearly burst in to tears on the spot. He hates the stroller and won't go in a swing. He also will only sleep on me or in the car!

    Ok cleaner not an option. DH did the bathrooms on the weekend. He gets DS2 to sleep (I do bath for all of us as DH gets home too late). He then takes DS3 (around 8pm) so I can get some sleep. He keeps him as long as he can and then usually that's the end of my sleep for the night. I may get 1-2 hours broken from 10/11 onwards. So doing chores once boys are asleep is not really an option unless I give up entirely on sleep. DH can't do it either as he's sitting on the lounge with a sleeping DS3!

    DS2 has been wonderful. He is very helpful with his brother. He's getting better at tidying up after himself so I'll keep working on that. We head out almost every morning to the park, playground, questacon or shops if we have groceries/errands. Playgroup is finished for the year. It gives DS2 a good run and usually DS3 will get a decent nap in the car.

    I managed to tackle some of the folding today. The washing backs up because I need to use an allergy cycle (3-4 hours). Anyway some of it is done just needs to be put away - I'll get DH to help with that when he gets home.

    One day at a time. I know it will pass - just hard to see the end when your down in the trenches

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  17. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by binnielici View Post
    Thanks so much everyone. There some really achievable ideas here for me - i make DH's lunch every night and (slap to the head) will clearly need to make something for myself too!

    There's a reason the wheels have fallen off. Until now DS3 has always been in the carrier and I haven't had the cleanest house in town but it's been bearable. On Monday he had his vax and development check. Well his hips are out so we have to have a scan to see where to go from there. As I went to leave, naturally going to pop him back in the carrier the dr says to me - no, best to keep him out of that until we know what's what. FML I nearly burst in to tears on the spot. He hates the stroller and won't go in a swing. He also will only sleep on me or in the car!

    Ok cleaner not an option. DH did the bathrooms on the weekend. He gets DS2 to sleep (I do bath for all of us as DH gets home too late). He then takes DS3 (around 8pm) so I can get some sleep. He keeps him as long as he can and then usually that's the end of my sleep for the night. I may get 1-2 hours broken from 10/11 onwards. So doing chores once boys are asleep is not really an option unless I give up entirely on sleep. DH can't do it either as he's sitting on the lounge with a sleeping DS3!

    DS2 has been wonderful. He is very helpful with his brother. He's getting better at tidying up after himself so I'll keep working on that. We head out almost every morning to the park, playground, questacon or shops if we have groceries/errands. Playgroup is finished for the year. It gives DS2 a good run and usually DS3 will get a decent nap in the car.

    I managed to tackle some of the folding today. The washing backs up because I need to use an allergy cycle (3-4 hours). Anyway some of it is done just needs to be put away - I'll get DH to help with that when he gets home.

    One day at a time. I know it will pass - just hard to see the end when your down in the trenches
    Both my daughter's have had ddh (hip dysplasia second one being braced) as long as your carrier is hip friendly like the ergo 360 or the wrap type carriers they are fine to use as they support the hips properly hopefully you have one of these if yours is no good 😃

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  19. #20
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    I have a manducca! So it should be fine maybe the dr wasn't familiar with them or something. Gaaaah now I'm freaking and not sure what to do.

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