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  1. #1
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    Default I really want another baby but partner doesn't

    Hi Mummas,

    My partner and I are married with two amazing kids. In between them we had a miscarriage. Anyway I really want another baby but my partner doesn't. I missed the pill for the last two days as I forgot too get more. I asked my partner wether I should start again or not, I told him how I really want another and too please really think about it before giving an answer. Well he told me too keep taking it for now. I'm feeling empty and like I'm not complete, I'm even starting to feel annoyed, upset, angry and a bit of resentment. I know I shouldn't as it's how he feels but I just can't help it and I feel down and out. Any tips too try and help him agree or ways to make me not resent him and just be happy? I feel incomplete , I have told him how I feel. Thankyou

  2. #2
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    Just planting the seed by saying you really want another one should get your DH thinking about expanding the family. Perhaps bring the subject up in a few more weeks and ask whether he's had anymore thoughts on another? Also, you could say that contraception is on him from now on. If he doesn't want anymore babies then he needs to be the one preventing it!

  3. #3
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    He said keep taking it for now. Not no not ever. Maybe wait a bit and see how you both feel in months to come.

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    It took my DH a long time to come around to the idea... give it a few weeks & then approach the subject again, explain how you are feeling & why you want another, get him to do the same for reasons against... I think the first thing is to try & understand where each other are coming from & then decide together.

    It's very easy to get caught up in the, I want another, he's stopping me resentment cycle without looking at it from his side... I know how you feel though, my desire to have a 3rd was so strong, in the end I think DH could see how much it would mean to me & agreed at he wanted another as well, he told me he would look at pics of our DS as a baby & that was when he realised he wanted another one too.

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    We've discussed the reasons on both our decisions previously and also he has said that we agreed on two and that's when I explained on how I'm feeling. It's been going on for months now.

  6. #6
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    Him saying keep taking it for now makes me feel he's trying to avoid saying "no". It's the way he says it

  7. #7
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    In my experience, and from what I've seen a lot on the hub, it's in your best interests to assume he means it and put your effort into trying to make your peace with that. He knows how you feel, and he'll tell you if he somehow changes his mind.

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    Default I really want another baby but partner doesn't

    I'm sort of in the same situation.. I would love another one, as hard as the first has been I don't feel complete, df is not so sure. He hasn't really made his mind up about having another one. I am prepared to wait a couple more years if I have to. I have the implanon.. it's due to come out early next year and I will probably have it out and not get another (my choice) df and I will just use other forms of contraceptions. We did this for a couple of years when I had my last one out before I fell pregnant with DS. He was a surprise lol
    I have mentioned to df how badly I want another and he may compromise. He may not. I will wait and see with him but we have had the discussion a few times.

    I guess I'm saying.. you may just have to give him time.


 

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