I am feeling kinda upset right now because I feel very low down on my mums priorities. She has been in my state since Friday and came to see me for two hours yesterday and has just sent me a text saying she will visit me Wednesday with no time given and no asking me if that is ok with me. She also leaves on Sunday and will not make any plans with me to catch up. I am not expecting her to spend everyday with us however some firm commitment would be nice as we have other commitments to work around and i have to organise transport if we are going out somewhere.
A bit of back ground sorry it is all over the place just trying to get it all down.
I live in a different state to my mum and her husband (my step father).
I have not seen my mum for a year and I have had a particularly bad year and among many other problems I have been suffering really badly with depression so I could really use some love from my mum right now.
I do not have any family in my state and the few friend I have here I rarely see.
I have 4 Children ages 20 months, 5, 11, and 16.
I do not drive so I rely on my ex husband to get me around, we are still living in the same house and until we can sell we can't afford to live apart, things are mostly amicable between us and I am his carer. We are even looking into buying or renting a place that has separate accommodation so I can continue to be his carer.
My mums husband has some close family friends of his who were visiting my state and as they were getting a holiday home for a week my mum and stepfather decided to join them and that way they could visit us too. My mum and Husband arrived two days before their friends so were going to get a hotel in the closest city to me, which I live 35 - 40 minutes drive away from.
Months ago my mum asked me if My 16 year old could stay with them a couple of nights in the city, I agreed she could and mentioned what about the other kids and me, to which my mum assured me she would be spending some time with us. I tried to join in on the first days meet up with my 16 year old, which initially my mum agreed to but my mum seemed to forget very quickly about me and started to not include me in those plans. It turned out my 20 month old was sick so I did not push it on the day.
On the phone my five year old asked my mum if she could have a sleep over with my her when she was visiting, my mum said yes of corse she can.
My 11 year old was a bit put out because he would have loved to have stay in the city too.
My 5 year old has talked about the sleepover for months and is super exited to do it. So I have tried to pin my mum down when the sleepover for miss five is happening and when she is going to spend time with the rest of us.
My mum has not wanted to make any further plans as they needed to see what their friends were doing first. My 16 year old informed me that my mum has not even asked their friends if my 5 year old can stay that is why she hasn't committed a time.
One of the times on the phone with my mum I expressed my concerns about leaving my other kids out and she said well what do they want to do? ( um der spend time with you) I asked and my 11 year old wanted them to take him to this great museum. When they were here on Sunday my 11 year old asked my mum when? My mum said we'll see , f me I usually say that when I am not wanting to do something. After two night with his sister all he gets is a we'll see......
All weekend my kids have been waiting to see their grandparents knowing that their big sister is with them and not knowing when they are going to get their turn. My 5 year old has not shut up about the sleepover my 11 year thinks they don't like him very much ( I have tried to reassure him that they do but I am not so sure about this) And I am feeling completely left out and like an acquaintance they are popping in to see but they can only spare a few hours as they have to be on there way.
To get perspective I want some other peoples opinions. Do you think I am over reacting been upset about all of this? Are my expectations too high in expecting my mum to make plans with the others and me? Should I just shut up and be grateful of the couple of hours I get?