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  1. #11
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    It was really important to me that I was at home when my kids were little...until they started school. I ended up studying when my youngest was little, and went to work once they were all in school. I am really glad I got to be at home, and cherish the memories...but I also remember how mundane it felt, and am so glad I am now a working mum...it's hard and exhausting at times, but I don't want to not work.

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    Freyamum  (11-11-2016)

  3. #12
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    I couldn't be a full time SAHM. It's just not for me and I'd end up resenting my kids.
    I was a SAHM with my first for about 18 months followed by 6 months of sporadic work and 6 months of 2-3 days per week. Once my second was born I was at home for about a year, and have been working 2-3 days per week for nearly 6 months.

    When I was at home at with my first, it was for a number of reasons...convenience with breastfeeding, guilt and just no job that I could conveniently return to. I felt stuck and hated being at home. With my second it was purely due to the convenience given that I was breastfeeding and can't express at work. I waited until DS was at an age/stage where I could go long enough without feeding or expressing to be able to work.

    As for why I don't work full time though...Breastfeeding is a big reason. DS is my last bub and I'm in no hurry to end that part of our relationship unnecessarily. It just wouldn't be possible for me to work full time without severely effecting that. I also think that I'd feel very rushed if I only had 2 days at home. I find it stressful enough dealing with all the things I need to do in a week, let alone if I had to pack them into less time. I'm a much better parent when I feel like I have time to relax!

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    Freyamum  (11-11-2016)

  5. #13
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    Default Why do (did) you stay at home??

    Quote Originally Posted by Full House View Post
    It was really important to me that I was at home when my kids were little...until they started school. I ended up studying when my youngest was little, and went to work once they were all in school. I am really glad I got to be at home, and cherish the memories...but I also remember how mundane it felt, and am so glad I am now a working mum...it's hard and exhausting at times, but I don't want to not work.
    Do you mind me asking what you studied and what work you do now? I've been exploring so many different study ideas since my middle child was born 7 years ago but I found it hard to fit in study with 2 kids and he was supposed to be my last so I thought I'd wait til he went to school... then ms2 came along and through in another curve ball lol!!!

  6. #14
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    It was never a discussion/decision I had to make, I was always going to be a full time SAHM for as long as I could. I do not have a career I'm interested in returning to so this is not even a concern for me. I was put into daycare as a toddler and I seriously loathed it, so the thought of putting my kids in daycare made me feel physically ill. I was so nervous when DD started kinder (the 3 year old program is 2 full days a week) but it was a revelation to learn that she loved it. All I could think was PHEW she's not like me, she loves it and doesn't hate it. Now she's in prep, my middle child is in the two day a week program and I'm looking to put the two year old in daycare (i never thought I'd even consider it!) Next year just for one day. So finally I'm now considering what I might like to do to get back into the workforce.

    So being a SAHM was always 100% my choice, and it never once felt like a second-rate option

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  8. #15
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    I've been home for almost 3 years with ds and am due with #2 in May 2017. Mine was a combination of 2 things, 1 being I didn't feel comfortable putting him in childcare, and 2, we had come back from a 2 year stint overseas when I was 27 weeks pregnant so I didn't have a job to go back to. I have an admin background and am currently studying at home to refresh my skills so I can go back to work once #2 comes along and I feel like I can leave him/her. Who knows though, once that baby is born I may decide I want to stay home until both kids are in school and never work again.

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    Freyamum  (11-11-2016)

  10. #16
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    I've heard it all since I've been home. I'm a kept woman. I'm a bad role model for my daughter. I'll be completely up sh*t creek if my husband leaves me. I have no drive or self esteem. Anyone that knows me knows all of the above is laughable.

    I'm home bc that's what works for my family, just as women that work do so bc that's what works for theirs. My mother worked and I feel like she missed so much and I missed so much as well (that isn't a dig to working mums and to be fair, the issues with my mother are far more complex than just that). I wanted to be home in the formative years.

    I dunno, I think life is what you make it. I don't feel downtrodden and put upon. I feel like I hold the most powerful role in the household and my husband agrees. I'm not some uneducated 'yes dear' Stepford wife with the frilly apron that has no dreams or opinions. And it's opinions like this woman's who keep the Mummy Wars raging. It seems to have become socially acceptable for working parents to constantly lag on SAHM's with this overt sanctimony. I see working women all around me that are bigger slaves than me. Slaves to the mortgage, slaves to jobs they despise, slaves to an ideology that they must work to be valuable and worthy.

    And I should add, I'm now running a WAH business and turning a profit So now I'm back in the contributing, worthwhile camp, and my DD finally has someone to look up to <tongue firmly in cheek>

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  12. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    I've heard it all since I've been home. I'm a kept woman>
    Oh you've just reminded me of a fight I had with a relative where she kept calling me a "stepford wife" and said that I "sit at home in comfort while I let my husband earn all the money" hahahahahaha! At the time I had a 4 yo, 2yo and 6 month old baby. What "comfort" is she talking about? I'd love to see her do my job for a week (she was/is childless). It goes to show that these negative stereotypes do still exist.

  13. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Freyamum View Post
    Do you mind me asking what you studied and what work you do now? I've been exploring so many different study ideas since my middle child was born 7 years ago but I found it hard to fit in study with 2 kids and he was supposed to be my last so I thought I'd wait til he went to school... then ms2 came along and through in another curve ball lol!!!
    I would rather not say what I do...just to help remain anonymous...but I studied for 4 years. It was hard. Lots of sacrifices were made...less sleep, less time with family, less time socialising, and letting the housework go. You can not 'do it all.' It's the same with work...you need to learn to say no to things, or to realise that some things have to wait. And having a supportive husband helped a ton. It still does, now I'm working. We are a team.

  14. #19
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    Default Why do (did) you stay at home??

    Quote Originally Posted by GingerKat View Post
    Oh you've just reminded me of a fight I had with a relative where she kept calling me a "stepford wife" and said that I "sit at home in comfort while I let my husband earn all the money" hahahahahaha! At the time I had a 4 yo, 2yo and 6 month old baby. What "comfort" is she talking about? I'd love to see her do my job for a week (she was/is childless). It goes to show that these negative stereotypes do still exist.
    Yep, I've been called a "lady of leisure" with a newborn, 3 & 4 year old. No child care or family help. You've just got to laugh at some people's stupidity!

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  16. #20
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    I absolutely love being a SAHM. I worked, had a career for over a decade and although I did enjoy the industry, I never felt fulfilled by working outside the home. Once I had babies, staying home and caring for them and the home and yes, my husband too (because I love him, and because he cares for me) really showed me a level of happiness and fulfilment I'd never felt before. I'm so grateful to be here with them as they grow. I do part time work here and there as we've needed it, but when I do I always feel like being away from my kids is not ideal for me or them.

    The idea that it's drudgery and useless work is based on the fallacy that the only work worth doing is the work that generates income and tax. Yep, we need some taxpayers and we also need some people willing to raise the children. It's a complete, insulting double standard that being a professional childcare worker or a teacher is seen as respectable and worthwhile, but doing those things in your own home is seen as a waste of time. I think it's just a form of social influence designed to generate the greatest of amount of industry and economy growth possible.

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