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  1. #1
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    Default Child threatened to kill my daughter

    I have just had a phone call from DD (6) teacher. (8pm) She wanted to follow up on how DD was after what happened today. I told her I did not know what had happened. She said the principal should have called me. He didn't.

    Apparently a boy in DD"s class bought a knife to school today. Showed it to her and told her he was going to kill her.

    As you can imagine, I am pretty freaked out by this, and by the fact I was not contacted immediately.

    I need to go into the school tomorrow morning and find out what is happening. If the boy is going to be there, I don't want DD there.

    PLEASE I need to know what I should realistically ask and what I should say.....

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    I should note, DD did not mention it to me tonight. She was quiet, I just thought she was tired. I don't want to wake her and ask her cos I don't want to freak her out. I just don't know what to do...

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    I would be furious that I was not told. And there should be an incident report.

    I would ensure I speak to the principal first to ensure my child is safe for the remainder of the year before bringing her into school again. Lots of hugs.

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    Quote Originally Posted by twinklify View Post
    I would be furious that I was not told. And there should be an incident report.

    I would ensure I speak to the principal first to ensure my child is safe for the remainder of the year before bringing her into school again. Lots of hugs.
    All of this.

    I would also be demanding the boy is moved to a different class for the rest of the year.

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  7. #5
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    Gosh I'm so sorry to hear this. You must be in shock. Your daughter didn't say anything to you??

    My advice would be to try to go in calmly and focus on your daughter and not the boy.

    So, these are my initial thoughts -

    Can they guarantee they will never be alone together?

    How did the situation occur?

    How did they find out? (ie was he caught, did she tell someone etc)

    Why were you not informed immediately?

    Will they provide counselling for your family if needed?

    How can the school protect your daughter in the future?

    Will they ensure the two students are placed in different classes far away from each other next year?

    Please don't ask any questions about the consequences the other child has received because they can't tell you. Sometimes it's easy to assume nothing has happened simply due to confidentiality requirements. Although I would be dying to know!

    Then, after leaving the premises, I would be writing an email to the principal and education board in your state explicitly outlining your fury at the approach taken by the school, how it has made you feel, and that if anything happens involving your daughter in the future you expect an immediate phone call.

    I suspect (about 80% sure) that the teacher probably rang because the principal had no intention of calling you, and she was trying to let you know. If this is the case she is an ally to you.

    Again, I'm so sorry this has happened. How awful.

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    Thanks guys,

    Apparently it was right before recess, he took her to his bag, showed her the knife, told her "that" and DD ran straight to the teacher. As the recess bell had just rang, the teacher sent all the other kids and DD outside to play, kept the boy in the room and searched the bag. She found the knife.

    I think DD did not tell me because in the past few months ( before the last month - she is tons better) she was getting in a bit of trouble in class, not concentrating, doing as she was told etc, and she was probably be scared she would get in trouble.

    I am so happy the teacher called me.

    I feel sick, like crying. I plan to take DD to school like normal tomorrow but I will walk her in and ask the teacher if the boy is there. If he is, I will take her to help the lunch lady while I go to the principal. If he isn't I will leave her there and then decide after if I will bring her home

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    Just my opinion, but if you are sufficiently reassured about her safety, and she is willing to go, I would suggest sending her to school as normal.

    Chances are the boy will be internally or externally suspended at least for tomorrow, and if she grows to fear school (while being understandable) it could be a long battle to get her back there. Would it be an option for you to 'help out' in class for the morning so you're around, and to test the waters?

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    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    Just my opinion, but if you are sufficiently reassured about her safety, and she is willing to go, I would suggest sending her to school as normal.

    Chances are the boy will be internally or externally suspended at least for tomorrow, and if she grows to fear school (while being understandable) it could be a long battle to get her back there. Would it be an option for you to 'help out' in class for the morning so you're around, and to test the waters?
    Good point. It is taking all my will power right now not to shake her awake sand ask her about it.

    I think I will walk her in, let the teacher know I am there and will be for the morning and go to the principal. Then go and do reading time etc with them.

    I don't want her to know I am making a big deal of this but I want the school to know. Fine line

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    @harvs how do I find out the education board email in the NT?

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    I am so sorry this happened, OP. I have little experience with this, but my two thoughts (take or leave them) are -
    - I would be personally making a police report
    - I have worked in a school where a child was putting classmates at risk & making threats, & his family was told that he was suspended from school, & that he was allowed to return to school only after a psychologist (who was fully aware of the incidents, has been contacted by the school, etc) personally signed off that he was not a danger to other classmates or staff. Of course a psychologist will not do this lightly, as it's then their neck on the line if the child DOES do something violent.
    - I would also be asking how they will protect your child, particularly at playtimes, etc.
    - I would also contact the state education department & report the incident, & inquire as to state policy for weapons and threats of violence in schools.

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