Hey lovely, great big hugs and much love to you. I've been where you are, more than once in fact. It's so, so hard to live with depression. Its also hard to live with someone you love who has depression.
There's no simple answer, but I'm sending you courage to have some tough conversations.
I don't know if this helps, but this is a post written by one of my closest friends. It could be something that speaks to another male? It's long, but worth the read I think.