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  1. #1
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    Default I think my DH is depressed

    ... And I don't know how to deal with it.
    It's probably been a long time coming but I suppose today coming home and having him already in bed is the catalyst? Not to mention that he cannot find any joy in our sons. He is fine with dd, but our boys (whose birthday it is today) no matter what they do it annoys him. If they're inside he sends them out. If they're outside they're not doing what he wants them to do and he will yell at them. They are confused and don't know how to be around him without upsetting him, therefore don't want to be around him.
    I don't know what to say to him to convince him to get help. He just shrugs it off, and is ADAMANT that he will not take medication for mental health. He says all of his family take it and it doesn't work for them (somewhat true but I would believe they don't take it regularly enough or do all the other associated things).
    It's so upsetting to see him like this, not to mention exhausting because I work full time and then parent full time too.
    Advice at this point would be wonderful because I'm in tears just writing about it..

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mod-Nomsie View Post
    ... And I don't know how to deal with it.
    It's probably been a long time coming but I suppose today coming home and having him already in bed is the catalyst? Not to mention that he cannot find any joy in our sons. He is fine with dd, but our boys (whose birthday it is today) no matter what they do it annoys him. If they're inside he sends them out. If they're outside they're not doing what he wants them to do and he will yell at them. They are confused and don't know how to be around him without upsetting him, therefore don't want to be around him.
    I don't know what to say to him to convince him to get help. He just shrugs it off, and is ADAMANT that he will not take medication for mental health. He says all of his family take it and it doesn't work for them (somewhat true but I would believe they don't take it regularly enough or do all the other associated things).
    It's so upsetting to see him like this, not to mention exhausting because I work full time and then parent full time too.
    Advice at this point would be wonderful because I'm in tears just writing about it..
    Hugs Noms. I have no advice.

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    Sub. I will be back later

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    Hey. I am the one with depression/anxiety but as a kid I grew up with a dad that did not get the right help for his depression.

    Firstly, he will need to want to get help. But there are a few non medical/dr things for him to do. If he does not make the effort to do them, then he needs to see the dr.

    He will need a psych. Most definitely. See if there is a psychologist in the area. They cannot provide meds ao he may feel more comfortable.

    He needs to look at his diet. Might be worth some supplements. Also get bloods done to check iron, B Vits, thyroid etc etc. Depending on your feelings towards it - some people prefer seeing a naturopath.

    I grew up with a father that was depressed. He needs to get help for his kids.

    My other suggestion is visiting Beyond Blue. There are resources for you and him.

    And hugs hugs hugs. It is hard.

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    Noms, I'll be back to post later. Hang in there, I know how hard it is hon

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    GBH Noms . I wish I had an answer for you xx

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    Default I think my DH is depressed

    would he look at something like this?
    Mods can I leave this website?
    https://www.mantherapy.org.au/
    It's part of beyond blue I think.
    It has a quiz he can do in his own time, privately.
    Sorry to post and run. Will be back

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    big hugs. I'd talk to him about how the kids are being affected.

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    Hugs xx

    I definitely recommend a psych.

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    Hugs. I think @twinklify and @TheGooch have given great starting points.

    Actually having the conversation with him to get him started down those paths will be really difficult. I was so defensive when my DH started trying to broach the subject of my moods and how I was/wasn't coping. It's hard to see it yourself sometimes. I don't know your DH, but a gently gently approach, laying out facts without emotion was what worked with me - non accusatory. I've noticed you don't seem to be enjoying the boys as much and that's making me worry about how you're feeling, and about how your bond will be affected. That keeps out the anger/temper aspect, leaves it open and gives you room to move with it.

    Medication isn't for everyone. But, when it doesn't work, it's usually because it isn't taken as directed, or they haven't found the right one yet. Sometimes it takes a few goes.


 

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