+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 9 of 9
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    76
    Thanks
    22
    Thanked
    15
    Reviews
    0

    Default TTC Pressure

    Hi I guess I am just putting it out there to see how other couple are dealing with the stress of TTC. I am concerned that my partner is just doing going along with having a baby because he knows how important it's to me. I do spend researching and i am scared if I keep going on about it and acting obsessed he will turn around and say he want's to stop trying. I feel like I try really hard to to pressure him or talk to much to him about it. I just feel like now I am just making him upset all the time and sex to him has simply because about me wanting to get pregnant. Does anyone else have feelings like this? It is just how some men deal with TTC?
    Last edited by kayte571; 16-10-2016 at 00:11.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    580
    Thanks
    986
    Thanked
    673
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I spent a lot of time everyday researching ttc and pregnancy/baby stuff! The majority of men aren't interested in that and also don't want the pressure to 'perform' at the right time.

    My dh didn't mind knowing when I was in my fertile window but didn't want to know anything else. Of course frequency of dtd increased when I was fertile so I tried hard to make sure the rest of the month wasn't too bad in terms of frequency.

    I turned to bubhub and girlfriends to discuss ttc conceive stuff Hope that helps xx

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    5,844
    Thanks
    2,908
    Thanked
    1,627
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I didn't discuss the ins and outs of ttc with DH. I instigated DTD randomly throughout the month, so that he was none the wiser as to when I was fertile. It just took the pressure off him

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    1,143
    Thanks
    11
    Thanked
    691
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I just leave it to DH to ask what he wants to know. He will often ask after the deed "is today a day that could have gotten you pregnant" and I will answer, but I don't volunteer information. I figure he will ask what he wants to know and that's that.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Posts
    98
    Thanks
    93
    Thanked
    94
    Reviews
    0
    I check-in with DH to see how much he wants to know. But it's mostly down to me telling him when we are dtd to make a baby, or just for fun. He's pretty on board to do it when it's go time, even if neither of us are really in the mood.
    We just make those times a quick "in and out" (no pun intended ).

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Gold Coast, QLD
    Posts
    3,594
    Thanks
    1,292
    Thanked
    1,105
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I found DH was up for it whenever so we didn't actually have to discuss when I was most fertile. Try not to make DTD all about conceiving. Instigate DTD at other times throughout the month too, not just your fertile times. I never bothered DH with the timing and all things TTCing because they either act disinterested or feel like they are being used lol.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Bayside Brisbane
    Posts
    7,025
    Thanks
    1,230
    Thanked
    1,956
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    As they other ladies have said, a lot of guys don't want to know. So your best bet is to keep doing your research and to know YOUR body really well, and just instigate DTD at the right times without going into detail.
    Obviously the fact that you have been talking to him about it means that you're the type of person who does like to discuss it, but he clearly does not feel the same way, so your best bet is to take to one of the TTC threads here and spill your guts here instead of with him. Maybe he will ask to know more if there isn't so much pressure for him to know everything xox GOOD LUCK!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    76
    Thanks
    22
    Thanked
    15
    Reviews
    0
    The problem is he does feel like he is being used lol. When I was on the pill I had a really low sex drive. So now whenever I instigate it he thinks it's is just for baby making

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    23
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    11
    Reviews
    0
    I think it's a common reaction to the transition from your 'normal' sex life, to a ttc sex life. My hubby felt 'used' and a bit turned off when I pushed to bd more in my first few fw's, but after several months without success he has taken more of an active role in initiating sex in our fw. He is like "OK, let's get a baby in there this time!' and is far more enthusiastic. He sees it as a challenge. The first month he was genuinely disappointed that his 'boys didn't perform' - I believe his words were "you are meant to be knocked up with triplets already!". Bless him, Men are funny creatures.


 

Similar Threads

  1. High blood pressure in pregnancy
    By Rocky27 in forum Pregnancy Health Issues
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 05-08-2016, 14:17
  2. what's in your pressure cooker?
    By turquoisecoast in forum General Chat
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 15-05-2016, 19:14
  3. Low blood pressure?
    By BitsHead in forum Pregnancy Health Issues
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 28-01-2016, 07:56

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Softmats
With so many amazing reversible designs, the soft and cushioned Premium Bubba Mats are the perfect space for all the family. Not only do they look fantastic; you can also enjoy the quality and comfort for years to come.
sales & new stuffsee all
Wendys Music School Melbourne
Wondering about Music Lessons? FREE 30 minute ASSESSMENT. Find out if your child is ready! Piano from age 3 years & Guitar, Singing, Drums, Violin from age 5. Lessons available for all ages. 35+ years experience. Structured program.
Use referral 'bubhub' when booking
featured supporter
Wendys Music School
Wendy’s Music School. Experience, Quality and great service! For qualifying students we will get you playing or singing your favourite music in 90 days GUARANTEED! Book a free assessment online now!
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!