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  1. #21
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    Do you get on with her? We get on ok. It it is rather forced.

    What's your relationship like? Are you close or distant? We are distant. We talk on the phone rarely and see each other maybe once or twice a year.

    What was it like when you were a kid? I think when I was small it was ok but as I got older and especially when I hit the teens our relationship was strained. I didn't feel I could go to her if I was in trouble or needed anything as I felt nervous and embarrassed. She was always in a bad mood and I think she was suffering depression. There was zero affection, never told me she loved me until the day I moved out when I was 19. Hasn't said it since!

    Do you want your kids to have a similar relationship with you when they're adults? Hell no! It's always in the back of my mind to NOT be anything like her towards my own children!

  2. #22
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    Do you get on with her?
    Yep- she's amazing - she will do anything for you and gets on with everyone

    What's your relationship like? Are you close or distant?
    Very close - plus she lives down the road! DH is probably closer to her than his own mother

    What was it like when you were a kid? She was just as good when we were growing up, she was the mum who did all the pick ups, all my friends love ( and still do!) my mum , she didn't mind us going out as teenagers ( like 16 plus) as long as she knew where we were she would always pick us up/drop us off at any hour of the night so we never had to get public transport home in the middle of the night, my friends mums would let them go out as long as they knew my mum was dropping/picking us up!

    Do you want your kids to have a similar relationship with you when they're adults?

    Absolutely, she's very non judgmental, goes with the flow, supportive of anything we do

    Does your relationship with her affect the way you parent your own children?

    Yes because her relationship with my brother and his wife is awesome, she's a great MIL (will do anything when asked,always offers but never steps on anyone's toes or takes over) so I can only hope I'll be like that with DS and his partners/kids plus my childhood was so great I want the same for DS

  3. #23
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    Do you get on with her? Yes absolutely.

    What's your relationship like? Are you close or distant? Very close emotionally but she lives far away from me now.

    What was it like when you were a kid? Very close. I could tell her anything.

    Do you want your kids to have a similar relationship with you when they're adults? Yes

    Does your relationship with her affect the way you parent your own children?

    Yes almost to a fault. I would do anything for my kids. My mum was firm but so loving and generous when i was growing up. She did so much for me and i do the same for my kids. Anything they need (not want, but need) I'll do and it's my first priority.

    My partners mum wasn't like this. I expected when we had kids the same level of dedication and love from my partner towards the kids. Massive shock to the system there! It's all good though, i just needed to adjust my outlook and realise it's ok to have kids/work/relationship all on the same level. Still to me the kids are my be all and end all and I'll never change that.

  4. #24
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    Do you get on with her?
    I think everyone can tell from my posts here that I despise my mother

    What's your relationship like? Are you close or distant?
    If it wasn't for DHS placing DS in the care of my parents I would have nothing to do with her (as much as it would hurt that it would also mean no longer talking to my dad)


    What was it like when you were a kid?
    my dad worked in the merchant navy so was away more than he was home & my mum was a nurse who worked night shifts. She was neglectful of me, the evil chlid but adored & doted on the golden child brother who I don't think has ever been i trouble with her. She also knowingly sent me to her sisters every time she worked when dad was away to be molested. She then kicked me out of home when I was 14 due to how out of control I was.

    Do you want your kids to have a similar relationship with you when they're adults?
    Heck no - I want DS to want to talk to me, to want to be near me.

    Does your relationship with her affect the way you parent your own children?
    Yes - I would never treat DS the way she treated it. The fear of me not knowing better & harming him in any way similar (largely because we both have mental illnesses even though different ones) is a small part of the reason I am willing to give DS up at this point

  5. #25
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    Do you get on with her? Meh - it's cordial .. Most of the time

    What's your relationship like? Are you close or distant?
    - meh. Contact once per week but nothing of real substance.

    What was it like when you were a kid?
    - pretty ****

    Do you want your kids to have a similar relationship with you when they're adults?
    - heck no.

    Does your relationship with her affect the way you parent your own children?
    - yes. I figure if I do the opposite of what my mum did I will be right!

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  7. #26
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    My parents and I share the same house but we have our own sections. They mind my girls when I'm on nightshift.

    I talk to my mum everyday even when they're on holidays. We're very close.

    I parent similar to her, in a gentle pick your battles/bribery way.

    Yes I would love my girls to have that relationship with me

  8. #27
    almai's Avatar
    almai is offline "you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have."
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    Do you get on with her?

    Yeah mostly

    What's your relationship like? Are you close or distant?
    Fairly distant. We are more like acquaintances.

    What was it like when you were a kid?
    As a young kid we were best friends! She was the best mum. When I turned 13 she hit a mid life crisis and everything changed. She became an alcoholic, abused prescription meds, encouraged me to drink, let me do some stupid stupid things, she partied with my friends, possibly slept with my boyfriend (tho never confirmed), was never there for me, said "we should just go kill ourselves" at one point. we didn't really talk for 3 years (in that time I lost my twins, she never visited me)
    she is so self absorbed even to this day.
    I know she has mental health issues and addiction issues but I can't help her. She needs to do that herself.
    etc etc.

    Do you want your kids to have a similar relationship with you when they're adults?

    Heck no!

    Does your relationship with her affect the way you parent your own children?

    Yes! I will never be like my mother. I will always be open with my kids and will ALWAYS be there for them no matter what. I will never be ashamed of them or intentionally hurt them.
    I take medication and see a counsellor to make sure my mental health stays good so I can be the best mum to my kids.

  9. #28
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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    my mum was my best friend, and I miss her everyday. I do have the same relationship with my daughters, and I plan to have the best relationship with my grandsons and granddaughters. the circle of life. Marie.

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  11. #29
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    * Do you get on with her?
    No......

    * What's your relationship like? Are you close or distant?
    I haven't seen nor spoken to her in nearly 9 years, completely my decision...... she is an alcoholic and a narcissist who physically, emotionally and mentally abused me when I was growing up, and I am a better person without her in my life.

    * What was it like when you were a kid?
    It was hard, she made my father work night shift so there was extra money for her to buy smokes and booze with, most nights my brother and I had Vegemite on toast, or plain mine (no sauce, no pasta, no nothing!) for dinner because she was either too drunk or had spent grocery money on beer.

    * Do you want your kids to have a similar relationship with you when they're adults?
    I want to be the mother I never had. I want to smoother my children in hugs and kisses and all the loves! I want them to know they are wanted and loved and I do not want them to have any hint of the childhood I had.

    * Does your relationship with her affect the way you parent your own children?
    As above - I have no relationship so would like to think that their childhood would be 100 times better then mine was.

    On the flip side, I do not have a mother-in-law as my husbands mother passed away when he was just 16.
    I am going through pregnancy all alone, just me, my husband and his dad (they are very VERY close)
    If I can have a relationship with my children even half as close as my husband and his father, I will be very ever grateful.

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    almai  (08-11-2016)

  13. #30
    Join Date
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    Do you get on with her? Yep, getting along well with my mum. She drives me crazy at times though.

    What's your relationship like? Are you close or distant? Mum lives in a completely different state but we chat every second day, don't see each other much.

    What was it like when you were a kid? My mum was the best mum. My friends still talk about how awesome my mum is but She isn't the grandmother I thought she would be. I expected a hands on grandmother like ours was and wanting to be there for her grandkids but she's unfortunately far from it. Good thing I'm so independent.

    Do you want your kids to have a similar relationship with you when they're adults? Yes, i would love my girls to be as close to me as I am with my mum.

    Does your relationship with her affect the way you parent your own children? No, we are very similar in parenting ways BUT I have learnt from her how I will be as a grandmother.


 

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