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  1. #11
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    [QUOTE=Shoopuf;8586813]

    Do you get on with her?
    Absolutely

    What's your relationship like? Are you close or distant?
    Very close, we talk every day

    What was it like when you were a kid?
    She was a very loving mum, always interested and a source of comfort. Firm but fair and always explained and discussed why we were in trouble

    Do you want your kids to have a similar relationship with you when they're adults?
    I really hope so, my mum is my go to for most things.

    Does your relationship with her affect the way you parent your own children
    Yeah for sure, if I can be half as good as her I'll be happy [\QUOTE]

  2. #12
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    Do you get on with her?
    Yes, she's amazing.

    What's your relationship like? Are you close or distant?
    I'd describe my mum as one of my closest friends. We FaceTime or talk on the phone every day. She lives a long way away but I I never really feel like we're apart. She respects me as an adult and we have a relationship of equals.

    What was it like when you were a kid? Very different. She was the mum and I was the kid. She was fair, listened and clearly loved us, but she was in charge. She encouraged my siblings and I to believe in ourselves and to be proud of who we were. She and my dad always put us before themselves.
    As we became teens, my parents made a conscious effort to start giving us more independence and responsibility and that's how things gradually changed from parent-child to adult-adult.

    Do you want your kids to have a similar relationship with you when they're adults?
    Yes. I'd love to have that with dd but I don't think it's a given. She might not want the same thing and that's okay.

    Does your relationship with her affect the way you parent your own children?
    Definitely. I like to think I keep the best parts of the relationship I had with mum as a child and have ditched the bad bits. That being said, I'm sure I'm not doing it perfectly either!

  3. #13
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    Do you get on with her?
    Yes.

    What's your relationship like? Are you close or distant?
    Close! She's my best friend 😊 There's very little that I would talk to her about.

    What was it like when you were a kid?
    We clashed a bit when I was a teen, but I think it was just due to me growing up and being a bit rebellious.

    Do you want your kids to have a similar relationship with you when they're adults?
    I'd love to have the same relationship with my girls.

    Does your relationship with her affect the way you parent your own children?
    I think so. I had a happy childhood, and there was nothing in her parenting that I disagree with, so I often seek her advice for my children.

  4. #14
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    Do you get on with her?
    Yes, I love my mum.

    What's your relationship like? Are you close or distant?
    Pretty close.

    What was it like when you were a kid?
    Mum was great when I was little, but as we got a bit older and mum went back to work full time, some issues surfaced. She yelled a lot (but acknowledges now that she was yelling because of stuff she was dealing with, not because we were actually making her angry).
    She's better now, still the same thoughtful caring mum she always was.

    Do you want your kids to have a similar relationship with you when they're adults?
    I hope to be closer with my kids, my mum find some subjects uncomfortable and avoids talking about them so I want my kids to feel they can tell me anything.

    Does your relationship with her affect the way you parent your own children?
    A bit. I hope to make Christmas magical for my kids like she did for us, but I also look back at the way she handled certain things and want to do better.

  5. #15
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    Do you get on with her? Not really

    What's your relationship like? Are you close or distant?

    Surprisingly we are close. I love her because she's my mum. However I don't like her at all. I work very hard to maintain a peaceful relationship with her. I call her 3-4 times a week, txt daily. We used to live across the road from her, now we've moved I've seen her about 10 times in the last 20 months.

    What was it like when you were a kid?

    Awful.

    Do you want your kids to have a similar relationship with you when they're adults?

    No. I want them to want to spend time with me not feel like they should.

    Does your relationship with her affect the way you parent your own children?

    100% yes. I am her polar opposite.

  6. #16
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    Do you get on with her?
    No, unfortunately.

    What's your relationship like? Are you close or distant?
    Do not have much of a relationship. I try very hard to keep as much emotional distance as possible. I do still love her though. We chat in the phone approximately once a month. That's it.

    What was it like when you were a kid?
    I remember her as being highly emotional. I also have fond memories though. I remember that I thought she was the best singer in the whole entire world. She had a nice, warm clean smell.

    Do you want your kids to have a similar relationship with you when they're adults?
    No way!!!!

    Does your relationship with her affect the way you parent your own children?
    Yes, absolutely.

  7. #17
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    Default Tell me about your Mum

    Do you get on with her?

    Now, yes. We get along very well, though we have very different opinions on some things.

    What's your relationship like? Are you close or distant?

    I'd say close, but not in some ways. She's not affectionate, I can't recall the last time we hugged or said we loved each other. But we speak most days and see each other 1-3 times a week. She LOVES my kids. Like adores them. Which I'm so grateful for.

    What was it like when you were a kid?

    I had a brother with a terminal illness who took up a lot of her attention (understandably). She was loving and protective , my father was abusive to her and my three brothers, but after my brother passed away she was pretty withdrawn and distracted.

    Do you want your kids to have a similar relationship with you when they're adults?

    When we are adults , yes. But I'd like to think my kids would discuss everything with me, including sex, ttc, etc. things I wouldn't speak to my mum about.

    Does your relationship with her affect the way you parent your own children?

    I often catch myself saying or doing something like her, but not intentionally. So I guess it does.

    I will ensure my kids feel like they can discuss anything with me. I got so distant from my mum that I was to embarrassed to ask for pads as a teenager or contraception etc. so I don't want my kids to feel like they can't approach me about ANYTHING.
    Last edited by Lovemysons; 14-10-2016 at 13:49.

  8. #18
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    Do you get on with her? I sure do. Always have. Though the distance makes it difficult, we talk at least twice a week whatever way we can- skype, phone, text, email, fb.

    What's your relationship like? Are you close or distant? Very close. My mum had me at 17 and gave up everything to give me everything. She dropped out of high school (went back recently), never went out, dumped my useless douche of a male donor, and met a lovely man who she went on to have four children with.
    Mum was, and is, my best friend. Though she never flinched at having to parent, she was always patient and understanding, and never punished- instead instilled consequences and lessons.

    What was it like when you were a kid? Mostly it was great. I have lots of good memories from my childhood. But as the only child of my mum and D, it was lonely at times. I didn't have a sibling that was a constant. When visiting D, I was left with his mum and felt a bit unwanted. But that was all him and not mum. She put a stop to visits after giving him plenty of chances.

    Do you want your kids to have a similar relationship with you when they're adults? Yes, definitely.

    Does your relationship with her affect the way you parent your own children? Affect no but it has had a definite effect. I parent very similarly, though I am more aware of treating each kid individually rather than making everything 'fair'. E.g. at 10 you have more responsibilities than an 8 year old, so you have more freedoms too- older books, later bed, etc.

  9. #19
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    Default Tell me about your Mum

    Do you get on with her?
    Yes, it's civil and pleasant.

    What's your relationship like? Are you close or distant?
    I would describe us like work colleagues- see each other a lot as she looks after my kids whilst I work (and she's a fantastic nanna), but we are quite awkward, don't progress past small talk and aren't affectionate towards each other.


    What was it like when you were a kid?
    Just awful.
    She was cold, unloving, unapproachable and cranky all the time. She even yelled at me when I told her I got my first period as she wasn't prepared (I was 13). I never mentioned it again and bought my own pads with my pocket money.
    My parents married very young and had 3 kids in 3 years. Money was really tight and there was no family or friends to help. She didn't drive. I don't think mum coped very well and was very resentful. Having kids has given me insight into why she was the way she was.
    She apologised a couple of years ago at Christmas.



    Do you want your kids to have a similar relationship with you when they're adults?
    Kind of. Having children has helped us have an ok relationship- she was even there at my two births- and she's there to help out but the damage has been done. So I know the framework to close adult relationships begin now.


    Does your relationship with her affect the way you parent your own children?
    Yes. I'm very conscious to make sure my kids know they're loved and wanted. When I start yelling I sound like my mother and it frightens me.
    Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 14-10-2016 at 15:38.

  10. #20
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    Do you get on with her?

    No. We can have a pleasant conversation, but I'm not sure you could say we get on.

    What's your relationship like? Are you close or distant?

    Distant. They visit a couple of times a year, but apart from the odd email, there's no other contact during the year. I tried for years to improve our relationship, but it was one sided so I stopped. I tried again when we had kids, but there still wasn't much interest from her so I stopped trying after a few years as it hurt to be rebuffed all the time again. It's taken a long long time, but I've accepted it is what it is and there's nothing I can do to change it if she won't put in any effort to be in our lives.

    What was it like when you were a kid?

    Much the same. I don't remember much support or affection from her. I think she's been deeply unsatisfied with her life and it's made her emotionally distant. She can be cold and cutting. I was always trying to make her proud, but no matter what I did, it was never good enough.

    Do you want your kids to have a similar relationship with you when they're adults?

    Definitely not! I'm a completely different parent to how she is. There is no way I will be repeating this mother-child dynamic with my own.

    Does your relationship with her affect the way you parent your own children?

    Yes. I do everything differently to her! I'm always there for my kids. Lots of affection, telling them how proud I am of them etc. I want my kids to want to come home, to want to spend time with me and know I will always be there for them and be on their side.


 

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