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  1. #1
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    Default Tell me about your Mum

    A bit random, but the whole 'growing a baby' thing has got me thinking a lot about parents and relationships lately. Obviously I only really have my own experience to judge these things by, so I'm after some different perspectives and experiences.

    Sooooo ..... if you don't mind, tell me about your Mum.

    Do you get on with her?

    What's your relationship like? Are you close or distant?

    What was it like when you were a kid?

    Do you want your kids to have a similar relationship with you when they're adults?

    Does your relationship with her affect the way you parent your own children?

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    Little Miss Sunshine  (14-10-2016)

  3. #2
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    Do you get on with her?

    Not even slightly


    What's your relationship like? Are you close or distant?

    We haven't spoken in years


    What was it like when you were a kid?

    She was a master manipulator and used me as an accessory, among other things.



    Do you want your kids to have a similar relationship with you when they're adults?

    God no!!


    Does your relationship with her affect the way you parent your own children?

    Absolutely. I don't do a single thing she ever did. I'm careful to not even use the same euphemisms she did.

  4. #3
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    Do you get on with her/what's your relationship like?

    Yes - I tell her everything! She's my best friend. I turn to her for advice with DD 6 mths all the time.
    Whilst we aren't close geographically anymore, we SMS and /chat on the phone daily and at least catch up once a week. (Before I went off on maternity leave my mum and I worked together as her as my assistant for almost 8 years)

    What was it like when you were a kid?

    My mum is of a European background. I found her a lot stricter than my friends parents a which I hated. I wasn't allowed to go out as much as my friends and I felt she was very rigid. We fought all the time. I remember throwing a coat hanger at her once in the middle of an argument.
    She grounded me a lot when I was a teen for smoking and sneaking out, made me break up with a boyfriend etc
    As a 16 year old I hated her and how controlling she was!! But I was also sad at myself that I had abused her/their trust as Mum/parents. I think I had a healthy respect for Mum as my parent but battled with the peer pressure and wanting to push the boundaries as a normal teenager - mostly mums influence won!
    When I turned 18 mum and dad moved overseas and left me alone at home so I could study and work etc as they respected that I had my own goals after finishing school.
    This helped our relationship because I felt mum trusted me again.

    Do you want your kids to have a similar relationship with you when they're adults?

    I would love for DD to know I am her soft place to fall when ever she needed and that she could tell me anything, anytime.

    Does your relationship with her affect the way you parent your own children?

    DD is prob a bit young to really comment on this. Although I have thought that as DD grows I'd like to be a bit more collaborative than my mum was. And speak in more positive ways about myself, my body image etc than my mum spoke about herself.

  5. #4
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    I get along well with my mum. She is very opinionated about everything and will always put in her two cents, but if I feel she's crossed the line all I have to do is tell her and she takes it on board. She doesn't want to do anything to jeopardise her relationship with me or the kids so she's pretty good at fixing her own character flaws to keep the peace.

    We are close, but we don't live in each other's pockets and we don't necessarily talk every day.

    She was a great mum as a kid. My parents marriage was a disaster, but because of my mum I still have fond memories of my childhood. She was the type of person who always wanted kids, from a young age, and she was/is very devoted to being a mum. She is a very good grandma to my kids and has a great bond with them.

    I hope to have the same type of relationship with my kids when they're grown up

    She recently found out that her cancer returned. She had non-Hodgkin lymphoma four years ago, and it's back. I'm trying not to get too worried as this type of cancer is supposedly very treatable, but it's always a worry when it's a relapse. I've just gone through my daughter having cancer, and now this....life is certainly throwing a lot of challenges our way

  6. #5
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    Do you get on with her?

    No.

    What's your relationship like? Are you close or distant?

    Very distant. When my sister was born she tryed to adopt me out as she loved her more and never got better after that. My parents split as my dad wanted me.

    What was it like when you were a kid?

    Abuse and hatred.

    Do you want your kids to have a similar relationship with you when they're adults?

    I am best friends with my kids and they can tell me anything. I will never judge.

    Does your relationship with her affect the way you parent your own children?

    God yes. I do everything opposite. I treat all my kids with the love and respect they deserve.

    When the old bat dies, i am not sure if I will not go to her funeral or dance on her grave.

  7. #6
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    My mother in law is awesome. If I need anything I know I can call her. When I almost broke up with my man as he was being a daft idiot, she drove 4 hours to comfort me.

  8. #7
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    If my mother hadn't birthed me, I wouldn't go out if my way to speak to her.

    I've told her this.

    We speak but she is weak, vulnerable and quite frankly not someone I would like my children to model themselves off.

  9. #8
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    My mum is awesome. She had a nursing career but was still always there for us and we were never left wanting for anything. She ran the household and was the discipliner too. A great mix of fun, caring and still running a tight ship. I would love to be the Mum my mum was to me to my kids but she has way more patience than I do!!
    Very blessed to have her. We talk and text daily and see each other weekly. She is a great role model ❤️❤️

  10. #9
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    Do you get on with her? Yep! Although she annoys me occasionally (she's a very talkative person with a huge personality), I love her to bits.

    What's your relationship like? Are you close or distant? We're pretty close. We speak at least once a week on the phone and I usually see her 1 or 2 times a month.

    What was it like when you were a kid? Really good. My mum didn't pursue a career (my brother has special needs), so she was very present for us. She was also fiercely protective - if someone tried to treat us badly, look out!

    Do you want your kids to have a similar relationship with you when they're adults? I presume my DS will stay pretty close to us (he has ASD), so it'll probably be more like my mum's relationship with my brother (though I hope my DS will develop more independence that my brother, and give me less attitude!).

    Does your relationship with her affect the way you parent your own children? Not really. I'm pretty confident in my own parenting style and decisions.

  11. #10
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    Popping in as I want to follow this thread. So few women I know are genuinely close to their Mums but with two DDs, I so hope we can be close when they grow.

    Do you get on with her?
    Yes, but through much effort on my side. My Mum can be a difficult personality so I have to be very accommodating for the sake of a relationship.

    What's your relationship like? Are you close or distant?
    I don't share feelings & wouldn't turn to my Mum for support due to her inability to soothe even though it's where I desperately want to turn.

    What was it like when you were a kid?
    Good from memory. Had a great childhood. Bad as a teenager though.

    Do you want your kids to have a similar relationship with you when they're adults?
    My Mum parented but never nurtured. Im committed to supporting my girls emotionally & nurturing them. I hope our relationship is genuine as opposed to being based more on a desire for a relationship.

    Does your relationship with her affect the way you parent your own children?
    My relationship with my mum causes me much angst with my parenting as I'm so desperate to do things differently.


 

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