Time for a new thread to chat in ladies
Time for a new thread to chat in ladies
Fresh start ... someone was reading my mind today!
So ladies, how are we all doing today???
@AngelD hey there:-) im still here, doing ok today :-) waiting for af to start so i can get ready for the next journey. This bfn hasnt affected me too badly, very disappointed to have spent 16k on one chance which didnt work but i havent gone into depression spiral or anything like that, only cried for 10 minutes that day i got the news/transfer day....but, you know what...im tired, just tired and exhausted from continuing to try, like bone tired to the core. I think ive got one go left in me but if it ends poorly with no frosties, then i think i might give up and hope the urge doesnt come back. Sorta try and get on with life. Im so broke and in debt too that i miss my old life where i could buy expensive cheese at supermarket and go out for dinner with my girlfriends and have a few drinks with my work mates. That is actually making me tear up as i write. So, yeah im staying strong but its hard because i cant do any of the social things i used to do to participate in non-ivf life, iykwim? Lol, reading that... perhaps im not 'great' but yeah a bit fed up, lots tired and totally broke, is how i am.
@gorgeousgeorge aw, I really feel for you gg- this road can be so bloody cruel, takes away so much, lifestyle, control, money, fun, youth, certainty, .... and ******* time, so much time! I know how you feel. I've disappointed for +18 months and I know that's not long in fertility assisted terms, but, the countless beautiful babies, siblings born in that time to friends, colleagues, but not for me, the disappointment and question - why me? Why can't I catch a freaking break, jeepers it's tiring. I feel your frustration I totally know what you mean, and I'm so so sorry. I'm doing supercare, have you had a look at that?
@gorgeousgeorge ... you are an inspiration and a huge support to so many of us and it just seems so wrong that you've had such a struggle so far. I read your pain and wish I could somehow take it away. You're doing the only thing you can - taking it one day at a time, and breathing.
If I could I'd take you out for a great meal with a couple of bottles of wine, and help try to purge some of the disappointments of the last few years, I would. Get yourself some camembert or brie (or both ) and knock yourself out this weekend ... it won't damage the budget and just might do you some good ❤️
Vent when you need to, cry when you need to, and know we're here to listen, support and assist in whatever way you need xxx.
Thanks @AngelD and @Phia and everyone else xox Ok AngelD you're right, im gonna buy some cheese (i often equate expensive cheese with having 'made it' lol, coz i luuuurve cheese and when i was younger, i left home at 15 and i could never afford to buy name brand nice stuff from coles and when i became a teacher and got my first proper pay check at 23, i went and bought a whole trolley full of all the yummy foods i couldn't afford so cheese was like a symbol for me of how id moved up in the world and sone good). You're right. Get cheese, invite some friends over and have a few drinks at home - i can afford that. I was being a bit drastic :-)
I have contacted supercare and i have all the forms but the thing is, i think the application will take longer than when i can go back and im sick of waiting. I know its crazy but id rather pay for the ivf on more credit than wait and have it paid by my super. Im also tired in the head so not keen to do all the phone calls, contacting fs, and as i live in rural nsw, I'll bet i have to travel to see the psychiatrist. I thought the application would be much easier than it seems. Im a bit annoyed because i rang supercare months before i went over to athens and the woman i spoke to told me it wasnt possible to get funds for overseas ivf. Anyway... dr.n has told me that embryo donation is cheaper than egg donation (not sure how or why because i would think it would be more as you are buying eggs and sperm) and he emailed me to say we would talk on sunday. So i guess, im annoyed that i didnt push harder with supercare for the cycle i just did as it included x2 flights and staying for longer, i.e. it would have been the better cycle to fund through super than this next one which will be cheaper I think. I shouldn't get myself into such a tizz until i actually know how much the donor cycle will be.
Its so lovely that you guys think i am helpful and supportive. Its easy to be that way when you are in a good place yourself. It was easy for me to be supportive inbetween my last oe ivf and my first de cycle becayse I had a solid 4 months where i didnt have any worries of my own. Thank you for all your support and care in return.
Sometimes i think im a bit like the girl that had a little curl, in that when im feeling good, im usually very very good but when im feeling bad, its very bad. I dont tend to have a middle ground emotional state. Its either im great or im terrible.
Dont know what id do without you guys. It so nice just to know you care and truly understand xox
@gorgeousgeorge ((((((big hugs))))) I'm sorry you've had a crappy experience with supercare. The psychiatrist appt is over the phone and his report is sent letter in the day, so he's super quick, as they have recommend list. It's around $495. The GP report is easy as they cosign the psychiatrist's report and fill in a form - mine did that while I was with her. The Centrelink thing (level 3 access) is probably challenging as u have to go into a centre to confirm your identity- my wait was 40 min at the local one.
We are so good at beating ourselves up about why we did or didn't do something.
Our decisions are sometimes a difficult pill to swallow - but our hearts are in the right place and yours is full of love. You're exhausted and this whole thing is incredibly unfair. I love your story about cheese - bloody brilliant - And leaving home at 15, geesus you're brave, what a hard thing to go through. I don't know the full story on why things haven't worked out on the bfp front, but it sounds like Dr N is on the case. You're not alone and for whatever comfort this may bring there's Team GG spanning two countries sending hope to shift the universe in your favour. Sounds like it's time to let yourself feel what your feeling, let it out, in order to gather your strength. My bestest wishes to you x x. X x
Last edited by Minniemin; 14-10-2016 at 06:21.
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