@Heyside thanks so much for mentioning how wazza said even all the sperm tests cant definately tell (same with bloodt eggs, embies too i guess) I figure my approach and dr.n-s approach is: all the tests in the world sometimes cant tell you why and yes, im sure there are some probs they dont even know exist so how can they test for that? So sometimes, i think, if you just want 'a baby' the best thing to do is just keep swapping the baby making ingredients. Dr.N said to us, "I dont know but sometimes people like you two are just no good together and i dont know why" (meaning it in a nice broken-english way) I kinda appreciate his honesty and its reassuring to hear wazza thinks so too although, it totally sucks for you my lovely friend that this may be the case for you too. I guess sperm can deteriorate just like eggs.
I just had a crazy idea about going to greece, doing simultaneous own egg ivf with sperm donor and dh sperm, and a donor egg with sperm donor and dh sperm cycle, transfering everything left at day 5 at once and see if i have a Nadia Suleman tribe of mixed up babies from 4 different people. I would totally be famous and get my own reality tv show. Mwoo-haa-haa.
Omg, just realised it could be 5 people if i used 2 different sperm donors.