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  1. #11
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    Thanks Twinklify

    I've had a good read about the co sleeping stuff and it does seem alright. He needs that attachment and to feel safe and secure so I feel it's something that will help.

    I will look into sign, what a great suggestion!
    I read him a story every night but im thinking maybe I start making it more interactive, you know like pointing out things and getting him to show me where the dog is and that sort of thing.

  2. #12
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    Hi jack
    Some great advice above. I just wanted to add my thoughts on the question of being too hard/too soft on children. When reading your post I actually see a toddler who is asking for more structure. IMO from some reading and from my toddlers I find that they are much happier and settled when I have clear set rules and consequences. Young kids love clear boundaries. It means that they get a predictable reaction to their behavior and they helps them feel secure and settled in the big unpredictable and constantly changing world around them. Please don't feel too harsh or mean for setting clear and fair rules. Please don't think I mean that you should punish your brother for behavior that is essentially normal toddler stuff (defiance and tantrums) but when you are on your way to places just calmly tell him how you expect him to behave and what will happen when he doesn't. Then if he does the behavior calmly explain that you asked him not to do that and that now he will have the consequence. Eg... "When we are at the shops I want you to walk nicely and hold my hand. If you can't do that then I will carry you. If you yell and make outside noises then we will have to go outside and go home". Then follow through. It will be very frustrating for you to leave the shops early a few times but it will help him understand what you expect. I find that it also stops me getting stressed and flustered when my kids lose the plot because I know exactly what I'm going to do.
    I would do a similar thing with play group. While maybe adding in some instructions about what to do if he needs help. So..... "We are going to play with you friends. If you are feeling cross with your friends then come and sit with me and i will help you. We don't ever hurt our friends. If you hurt your friends I will have to take you inside and you will have to stop playing. If you can't follow this rule or if you scream at me then we will have to go home". Then follow through and don't feel mean about taking him home early. In his own way he was asking you to go. Clear and predictable are what he is asking for IMO.
    I think others may believe that this is too many words and too much complexity for a 2 year old to understand but I have not found this to be the case. I use these sentences and instructions with my kids from just over 12 months. I've found that if you use similar sentences, similar rules and similar consequences each time then they do understand and it helps a lot with preventing negative behaviors. We have this kind of chat in the car on the way to most things. Also over time I would add in lots of talking about what to do if you dont feel good. So "if you feel overwhelmed/tired/upset/frustrated then come to me and ask for a cuddle/ come to me and we can take big breaths together/(insert whatever you do to make home feel better)".
    Also (sorry this is a longer reply then I expected!) I really strongly agree with the above poster about learning a few signs. Can I suggest 'hungry' and 'water' as a couple to try. My kids get really cranky and whiny when they are thirsty during an outing but struggle to find words to say it. Now they both just use the sign for water and its sooooo helpful for easy communication!
    Good luck.

  3. #13
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    Thanks RedCreamingSoda

    We had his two year appointment last week as we were away on his second birthday at the beginning of October and then there hasn't been any appointments available. They said they aren't too concerned about his speech as he seems to communicate quite well without it, they agreed that he is behind with it but not to a concerning level, especially because he still communicates relatively well without it as well as taking into account he has had some trauma and all the changes that have been happening. They said that if it doesn't seem to be improving they may need to look at some early intervention speech therapy but to give it a few months.
    I have trying to introduce sign and that's going well.
    And I've also been trying what you said about having a bit of a talk with him on the way to places and as you said we've had to leave places early but I'm not going to give in. He will learn. He cracked it big time at swimming lessons yesterday, so we left. We've had some nice days out this week though and I've been offering a lot of praise on those good days.
    The co sleep is working well, he usually has a nap in his own bed and then will sleep in my bed at night, so I feel that's a pretty good arrangement.
    Last edited by Jack1993; 21-10-2016 at 08:13.


 

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