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  1. #1
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    Default WWYD? Increasing work hours

    I'm looking for a bit of advice on potentially increasing my work days from 3 a week to 4 a week.

    At the moment DD goes to kindy (pre-school) 2 days a week and child care 2 days a week and will start school next year. DS just turned 2 and in 2 weeks time he will be going to Childcare 2 days a week and be with grandparents 1 day a week.

    I'm finding out in 2 weeks time if I'm being made redundant. If this is the case there will be new positions in my current organisation I could apply for or I could try and find a new job.

    I'm thinking of going 4 days a week as it will be much easier negotiating a new job (whether internal or new) if I'm on 4 days. Being 3 days a week has really stalled my career progression.

    Only thing is, then DS would be in childcare 3 days a week and 1 day with grandparents. I feel really guilty about this. I'm not sure why but I'm really not sure how DS will cope and with DD starting school she will see me even less.

    It could all be fine and I could be panicking for nothing. WWYD? Increase to 4 days or stick to 3 and potentially not find a job as quick and keep my career moving slowly.

    For those mums who work full time or 4 days a week, do you feel guilty? How do you handle that guilt?

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    My only experience with 4 days is when I have done it I notice a huge difference in what I achieve during the days I am home. I feel very stretched and drained. Having said that if I did it long enough it becomes the norm and everyone adapts.

    Sorry probably not overly helpful. I think it's definitely manageable and your DH would have to be the sort to really pitch in as not being in the house 4/7 days a week means the work builds up. Plus side is kids aren't home to make mess!

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  4. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    My only experience with 4 days is when I have done it I notice a huge difference in what I achieve during the days I am home. I feel very stretched and drained. Having said that if I did it long enough it becomes the norm and everyone adapts.

    Sorry probably not overly helpful. I think it's definitely manageable and your DH would have to be the sort to really pitch in as not being in the house 4/7 days a week means the work builds up. Plus side is kids aren't home to make mess!
    Well given how this evening has gone where he's been sitting on his butt looking at the form guide preparing for his afternoon at the races tomorrow while the kids are feral and have spilt food all over the floor, and I get them ready for bed and put them both to bed.

    That's another factor, I feel like what's the point of me trying to contribute extra money to the family if it means I still have to do the same amount of housework?

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    I've been full time since DS was 5 or 6 months old. At first it was all a blur.
    It ONLY works for us because DH is extremely hands on and his job can often be more flexible.
    Also being at the top of the structure and being able to be more flexible with start/finish times, some work from home etc has made it easier.
    I don't feel guilty about DS being at daycare at all.
    In the beginning I felt guilty a few times when I did need to leave work because daycare called. But I got over it. That's what leave is for and I had stacks.
    We make sure the time we spend together and win DS counts.
    I was unwell with PND and PNA. For me, going back to work was best for my health, at the time.
    Do what's best, not just for your kids but also for you and your family. They're all important

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    I can't work 4 days a week. My house would look like a bomb site and I wouldn't have my social life which I need to stay sane. Plus my KiDs wouldn't cope either.

    So 3 days is my max.

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheGooch View Post
    I've been full time since DS was 5 or 6 months old. At first it was all a blur.
    It ONLY works for us because DH is extremely hands on and his job can often be more flexible.
    Also being at the top of the structure and being able to be more flexible with start/finish times, some work from home etc has made it easier.
    I don't feel guilty about DS being at daycare at all.
    In the beginning I felt guilty a few times when I did need to leave work because daycare called. But I got over it. That's what leave is for and I had stacks.
    We make sure the time we spend together and win DS counts.
    I was unwell with PND and PNA. For me, going back to work was best for my health, at the time.
    Do what's best, not just for your kids but also for you and your family. They're all important
    DH isn't very flexible with his work. He's so senior he needs to put in a lot of hours but not senior enough to be flexible and work from home etc.

    Something else to think about, thank you.

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    Default WWYD? Increasing work hours

    I started with 3 days when my daughter was 6 months old, increased to 4 days when she was 1, then increased to 5 days just before she turned 3. I found 4 days to be great, I got most housework, groceries and washing done on my day off (Friday) which meant we could do family stuff all weekend. But you need your hubby on board! When we were both home, anything that needed to be done was shared and we didn't both sit down until everything was done. I agree that it's not fair if you're working more but he's not contributing more with household duties.

    ETA I should add that I didn't really want to go to 5 days but was offered a significant promotion on the basis that I increased to 5 days.
    Last edited by JR03; 07-10-2016 at 19:38.

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    Something else to consider - I work part time, 31 hours per week, and find that I am expected to do a full time work load in those hours. From what I can make out, it seems to be a reasonably common expectation.

    I personally found that working 3 days per week gave me the best work-life balance.

    Do what works for you though. Long term, 4 days per week would be better career wise, especially if your goal is to eventually be back full time when the kids are older.
    Last edited by SSecret Squirrel; 07-10-2016 at 19:51.

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    DS1 was 3.5 when I went back full time but it was a gradual thing. 2 days then 3 then 4 then 5. I was a single parent so had no choice at the time. He was used to his being like that with care split between daycare and my folks then kindy added into it. When DS2 is 11 months next June I'm going back 4 days care split between my folks and daycare again. DP works for himself so I have to go back practically full time (28hrs). He hardly does any housework either, to buggered from 10hr days on building sites. I do all the bookwork and run the house and when I go back to work it'll be fun, not !.

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    I work 4 days a week and don't feel guilty at all. Ds loves childcare. The hardest part is dh and I often both get home tired and grumpy which leads to arguments. Plus it's hard to keep on top of the house work (even with splitting it 50:50 with dh).

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