After many years of problems, I am coming to a point where I may have to walk away from my marriage.
DH appears depressed and very stressed. He's often not very nice towards us, the way he speaks is terrible and he's very short tempered. It's not like it all the time. But it's having a massive impact.
Recently, my awareness of this has been building, not sure why. And although I've been passive about it for a long while, just due to not knowing what to do to help improve things, I spoke to him last week and several times since about us getting some help. Both for his apparent depression and our relationship. I've been very calm, non accusing, and said I just want to get things sorted.
However, all I've got in response is a brick wall of denial and anger about why I'm doing this now and not before.....So I feel I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. He blames his behaviour on our relationship problems, rather than taking ownership of how he acts, and just stood in front of me going on and on, almost shouting, for a good few minutes while I just sat there unable to speak. He literally shouted me down.
No matter what I apparently haven't done before, shouldn't it count that I'm doing it now? Trying to help and take action?
I said, when I could get a word in, either he wants to do this or he doesn't. He said he doesn't because it's too little too late from me. I said ok, that's it then. I don't want it to be, but I can't continue like this for the rest of my life, and he won't agree to come to see a counsellor to help us change. He thinks I'm trying to blame everything on him by saying he's depressed. But that's not true.
If that truly is it over, I have no idea what to do. Our family are overseas, though have mum visiting at the moment. We rent a house and cannot afford to live separately, I don't think. I work part time, three kids. I couldn't manage here on my own looking after them.
Just really struggling to get my head around the future if he won't come on board and accept some marriage counseling and mental health services for depression.....
TIA for any advice