I get critersized over my parenting choices a lot.
In reply to the OP, I used daycare with DD1 because I had no choice, but with DD2 I sent her one full day a week because I wanted too. I needed a break from her and it was bloody impossible to get things done with her around. I would find myself really grumpy and just over it when I was with her 24/7. I was becoming a Mum that I didn't like... so I opted to send her.
I didn't feel guilty about it, I was a better Mum for having a break from her.
It's a little disturbing to read how much mummy guilt there is associated with sending kids to childcare - some of it internal guilt , and some of it projected onto mothers by others who don't agree with their choice to do so.
And it makes me wonder - why doesn't there seem to be an equal amount of daddy guilt about children attending childcare? Do they feel the same levels of guilt but never articulate it? Or do they simply not feel guilty?
Why is it that mothers feel (or are made to feel) like they should be looking after their children instead of sending them to daycare, when dads don't (or aren't made to) feel that way? Aren't they equally responsible for the care of their children?
FWIW, my two children attend daycare 3 days a week, and I LOVE the days that they do. I'm working part-time and studying part-time at the moment, so those days are my opportunity to do those activities. But even if I wasn't working or studying, I'd still send them for a couple of days a week - partly so I could have an opportunity for some child-free time, and partly because I feel that daycare offers my kids great opportunities for socialising and learning that would be far harder to do at home. That being said, we're fortunate that our kids' daycare centre is excellent and the focus is on early learning, rather than merely babysitting. I also love that it is providing my children with something of an extended family (because we live a long way from our own).
People are concerned for my kids because they're not in school. I'm concerned for people's kids who are forced to go to school every day if they're not happy.
So I'm in a bit of an odd position with this one. I have 4 children, grade 1, prep, pre-kindy and nursery. I work 3 days per week, my 3 year old is in kindy those 3 days, and my 9 month old is with grandma one day and daycare the other 2, and my 2 schoolies are in before and after school care on those days.
Obviously this costs a lot of money. By my calculations, if I stayed home and kept them all home I would actually be in a slightly better financial position as my FTB would go up and I wouldn't have to pay daycare costs, BUT then I couldn't afford to send my 3 year old to kindy, and for him, I find it imperative. He really absolutely needs the structure, socialisation and learning he gets from kindy.
My kids don't go to daycare so I can go to work, I go to work so that my 3 year old can go to kindy.
Last edited by CazHazKidz; 11-10-2016 at 11:40.
If your child is not coping and you have tried everything (including changing schools) then maybe being at home is the best option for them.
My DS seems to be coping and loving CC so I am not looking into homeschooling/unschooling or anything (that and I would be terrible at it) but if it is working for your family then that is ok.
Pregnant for the first-time?
Not sure where to start? We can help!
Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!