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  1. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    Whilst I agree we should be kinder with our words, Unschooling is something so many of us don't understand so we do ask Unschooling4 questions about the theories behind it and yes our concerns.

    I don't think it's about opening her eyes to the error of her ways (at least its not for me - I'm interested in gaining knowledge) but she is a much better source of information to enable us all to understand the background of what is today in Australia not a very common practice at all.

    Back to your initial question @Freyamum, I know it's easier said than done but please don't feel guilty about utilising Childcare or early learning. You have 3 children, no family support, your husband doesn't seem to help with the youngest or understand what you're going through, so if you need to increase the hours your DD2 spends in Childcare for the sake of your mental health, then please just go for it.
    Asking questions and gaining an understanding is one thing...commenting in ways such as saying that unschooling is scared her kids will have a routine or play with a plastic toy if they attend daycare/school, or implying that her concerns re school are concerns she should also have at home as her children have a step father (for example), are not in any way trying to understand Unschooling's perspective. There's a very obvious difference between those who want to understand, and those who want to interrogate. I also don't think that all school related threads need to become a thread about unschooling practices every time unschooling posts.

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  3. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by Full House View Post
    I really don't understand why people are either offended by unschooling4's decision to unschool, or so h3ll bent on criticising her decision to do so. There was a thread on unschooling...everyone in this forum stated they disagreed with unschooling. Unschooling4 answered question after question and the thread eventually died (or was it closed? I don't remember).
    I would never unschool (or homeschool) my kids. We have made a decision based on what we believe is best for our children (we being DH and I). Unschooling has made a decision based on what she believes is best for her children.
    Like every aspect of parenting, people do what feels best for them. Unschooling came to her decision after trying more 'main******' methods and deciding they weren't working. I get the concerns, it's education, and education can make a huge difference to a person's life...but we don't know unschooling4 outside of this forum, we don't know what is happening in her home. There are plenty of kids who go through main****** education and don't get educated. Either the system fails them, their parents fail them or a combination of both. At the end of the day, unschooling4 has obviously researched her options, which suggests there is some interest in educating her kids...and that's better than kids who's parents send them to school so they're 'out of their hair,' and have no interest in their education at all.
    I am surprised that Unschoolingr still stays and posts...despite interrogation after interrogation cause she dares to be honest about her methods of teaching her kids. Perhaps it's time that Unschooling4 could contribute without having every thread regarding school/education she posts in turning in to a thread where she becomes the focal point and people become h3ll bent on 'opening her eyes to the error of her ways.'
    Thank you.

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  5. #83
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    I get critersized over my parenting choices a lot.

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    Full House  (11-10-2016)

  7. #84
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    In reply to the OP, I used daycare with DD1 because I had no choice, but with DD2 I sent her one full day a week because I wanted too. I needed a break from her and it was bloody impossible to get things done with her around. I would find myself really grumpy and just over it when I was with her 24/7. I was becoming a Mum that I didn't like... so I opted to send her.
    I didn't feel guilty about it, I was a better Mum for having a break from her.

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  9. #85
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    It's a little disturbing to read how much mummy guilt there is associated with sending kids to childcare - some of it internal guilt , and some of it projected onto mothers by others who don't agree with their choice to do so.

    And it makes me wonder - why doesn't there seem to be an equal amount of daddy guilt about children attending childcare? Do they feel the same levels of guilt but never articulate it? Or do they simply not feel guilty?

    Why is it that mothers feel (or are made to feel) like they should be looking after their children instead of sending them to daycare, when dads don't (or aren't made to) feel that way? Aren't they equally responsible for the care of their children?

    FWIW, my two children attend daycare 3 days a week, and I LOVE the days that they do. I'm working part-time and studying part-time at the moment, so those days are my opportunity to do those activities. But even if I wasn't working or studying, I'd still send them for a couple of days a week - partly so I could have an opportunity for some child-free time, and partly because I feel that daycare offers my kids great opportunities for socialising and learning that would be far harder to do at home. That being said, we're fortunate that our kids' daycare centre is excellent and the focus is on early learning, rather than merely babysitting. I also love that it is providing my children with something of an extended family (because we live a long way from our own).

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  11. #86
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    Quote Originally Posted by Full House View Post
    Asking questions and gaining an understanding is one thing...commenting in ways such as saying that unschooling is scared her kids will have a routine or play with a plastic toy if they attend daycare/school, or implying that her concerns re school are concerns she should also have at home as her children have a step father (for example), are not in any way trying to understand Unschooling's perspective. There's a very obvious difference between those who want to understand, and those who want to interrogate. I also don't think that all school related threads need to become a thread about unschooling practices every time unschooling posts.
    Yes. I have no problem with people who are generally curious but being rude is hurtful.

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  13. #87
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    People are concerned for my kids because they're not in school. I'm concerned for people's kids who are forced to go to school every day if they're not happy.

  14. #88
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    So I'm in a bit of an odd position with this one. I have 4 children, grade 1, prep, pre-kindy and nursery. I work 3 days per week, my 3 year old is in kindy those 3 days, and my 9 month old is with grandma one day and daycare the other 2, and my 2 schoolies are in before and after school care on those days.

    Obviously this costs a lot of money. By my calculations, if I stayed home and kept them all home I would actually be in a slightly better financial position as my FTB would go up and I wouldn't have to pay daycare costs, BUT then I couldn't afford to send my 3 year old to kindy, and for him, I find it imperative. He really absolutely needs the structure, socialisation and learning he gets from kindy.

    My kids don't go to daycare so I can go to work, I go to work so that my 3 year old can go to kindy.
    Last edited by CazHazKidz; 11-10-2016 at 11:40.

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  16. #89
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unschooling4 View Post
    People are concerned for my kids because they're not in school. I'm concerned for people's kids who are forced to go to school every day if they're not happy.
    I like this point.

    If your child is not coping and you have tried everything (including changing schools) then maybe being at home is the best option for them.

    My DS seems to be coping and loving CC so I am not looking into homeschooling/unschooling or anything (that and I would be terrible at it) but if it is working for your family then that is ok.

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  18. #90
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gentoo View Post
    It's a little disturbing to read how much mummy guilt there is associated with sending kids to childcare - some of it internal guilt , and some of it projected onto mothers by others who don't agree with their choice to do so.

    And it makes me wonder - why doesn't there seem to be an equal amount of daddy guilt about children attending childcare? Do they feel the same levels of guilt but never articulate it? Or do they simply not feel guilty?

    Why is it that mothers feel (or are made to feel) like they should be looking after their children instead of sending them to daycare, when dads don't (or aren't made to) feel that way? Aren't they equally responsible for the care of their children?

    FWIW, my two children attend daycare 3 days a week, and I LOVE the days that they do. I'm working part-time and studying part-time at the moment, so those days are my opportunity to do those activities. But even if I wasn't working or studying, I'd still send them for a couple of days a week - partly so I could have an opportunity for some child-free time, and partly because I feel that daycare offers my kids great opportunities for socialising and learning that would be far harder to do at home. That being said, we're fortunate that our kids' daycare centre is excellent and the focus is on early learning, rather than merely babysitting. I also love that it is providing my children with something of an extended family (because we live a long way from our own).
    I felt guilt for NOT sending dd1 to childcare, I was worried I wasn't teaching her to "socialise".

    No matter what you feel guilty.


 

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