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  1. #71
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    To just reiterate - I was not criticising those that choose to work in any way. I never said it wasn't just as valid as a choice as those that need to, in fact I said it was.

    I was simply suggesting a softly approach to this discussion as it was heading in quite a judgmental direction and from past threads like this, I know those that have to work in particular, get offended.

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    before kids I thought I'd love being a sahm. I couldn't wait to give up work. after ds was born, I realized bring a sahm was not for me. I found it so isolating and dull. I hated having nothing of substance to contribute when talking with my husband at the end of each day. I felt irrelevant, like I'd lost a part of me.

    I am enjoying being back at work 3 days, it's a perfect balance for me. ds is thriving in daycare (we've ironed out the issues I had and everything is going well at the moment).

    I feel no guilt about choosing to go back to work. I feel guilty/bad when ds gets sick from daycare as I blame myself. but I don't feel bad for not being fulfilled by the sahm gig and needing more.

    we also have no family close by therefore daycare is also our "village".

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  5. #73
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    harvs is offline Winner 2014 - Spirit of BubHub Award
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    Default How do you feel about Childcare / early learning?

    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    To just reiterate - I was not criticising those that choose to work in any way. I never said it wasn't just as valid as a choice as those that need to, in fact I said it was.

    I was simply suggesting a softly approach to this discussion as it was heading in quite a judgmental direction and from past threads like this, I know those that have to work in particular, get offended.
    Yeah Del, I'm sorry if by quoting you you thought I was directing my comment at you...your post just reminded me of something I'd been meaning to write and I thought your comment was a nice segue. I know that you weren't criticising anyone who does anything - quite the opposite in fact!

    I totally agree, it sometimes feels like no matter what we do, we just can't win and we all cop our share of guilt. It's a tough gig...

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  7. #74
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    My Ds stared daycare at almost 2 for 2 days a week, it's a wonderful centre and after he settled in, he loves it but I'm still in two minds about daycare. I felt horrible guilt leaving him crying till he settled, but I needed to get back to work 2 days a week. I like working, I like the balance but in a perfect world I think he'd be better off at home with me till preschool. The social aspect is good, but we have a big social life and plenty of play dates so I feel that's covered.

    I've still got him in 2 days school hours while on Mat leave, mainly for the social aspect and to get him ready for preschool but a lot of the time I'd rather just keep him at home (he's now 3.5).

    I don't think kids are destined to be behind if they don't go to daycare but it depends on the family, what's right for them.

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    They are valid concerns however I should note that they are not really risks that are unique to 'institutions.'

    There are risks that keeping your kids home, and 'uninstitutionalised' do not protect from. For example, kids not being respected (eg being yelled at) can happen in the home. Infact, I would say that risk is greater in the home than an 'institution.'

    Another example of risk in the home that wasn't on your list: a child is 33 times more likely to suffer abuse if a biological mother cohabitats with a man who is not the child's biological father. http://www.drphil.com/advice/parenti...ng-statistics/
    - not always and of course there are some awesome step dads out there. I suppose what I'm saying is that our responsibilities in caring for out kids go way beyond the perceived risks in them being institutionalised - the game plan needs to be bigger than that.
    Baiting?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    Baiting?
    I reckon.

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    Default How do you feel about Childcare / early learning?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    Baiting?
    So there is absolutely no validity in pointing out that the risk unschooling is shielding her child from by making a major lifestyle decision to keep her child at home... Can happen at home? I think in the context of the OP it was more than ok for unschooling to put forward her views - however it was important to balance negative vibe. The OP, who let's be honest needs an extra pair of helping hands, needs to know that most daycare places won't put your child at risk like that.
    Last edited by VicPark; 11-10-2016 at 06:15.

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  14. #79
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    I really don't understand why people are either offended by unschooling4's decision to unschool, or so h3ll bent on criticising her decision to do so. There was a thread on unschooling...everyone in this forum stated they disagreed with unschooling. Unschooling4 answered question after question and the thread eventually died (or was it closed? I don't remember).
    I would never unschool (or homeschool) my kids. We have made a decision based on what we believe is best for our children (we being DH and I). Unschooling has made a decision based on what she believes is best for her children.
    Like every aspect of parenting, people do what feels best for them. Unschooling came to her decision after trying more 'main******' methods and deciding they weren't working. I get the concerns, it's education, and education can make a huge difference to a person's life...but we don't know unschooling4 outside of this forum, we don't know what is happening in her home. There are plenty of kids who go through main****** education and don't get educated. Either the system fails them, their parents fail them or a combination of both. At the end of the day, unschooling4 has obviously researched her options, which suggests there is some interest in educating her kids...and that's better than kids who's parents send them to school so they're 'out of their hair,' and have no interest in their education at all.
    I am surprised that Unschoolingr still stays and posts...despite interrogation after interrogation cause she dares to be honest about her methods of teaching her kids. Perhaps it's time that Unschooling4 could contribute without having every thread regarding school/education she posts in turning in to a thread where she becomes the focal point and people become h3ll bent on 'opening her eyes to the error of her ways.'

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    Quote Originally Posted by Full House View Post
    I really don't understand why people are either offended by unschooling4's decision to unschool, or so h3ll bent on criticising her decision to do so. There was a thread on unschooling...everyone in this forum stated they disagreed with unschooling. Unschooling4 answered question after question and the thread eventually died (or was it closed? I don't remember).
    I would never unschool (or homeschool) my kids. We have made a decision based on what we believe is best for our children (we being DH and I). Unschooling has made a decision based on what she believes is best for her children.
    Like every aspect of parenting, people do what feels best for them. Unschooling came to her decision after trying more 'main******' methods and deciding they weren't working. I get the concerns, it's education, and education can make a huge difference to a person's life...but we don't know unschooling4 outside of this forum, we don't know what is happening in her home. There are plenty of kids who go through main****** education and don't get educated. Either the system fails them, their parents fail them or a combination of both. At the end of the day, unschooling4 has obviously researched her options, which suggests there is some interest in educating her kids...and that's better than kids who's parents send them to school so they're 'out of their hair,' and have no interest in their education at all.
    I am surprised that Unschoolingr still stays and posts...despite interrogation after interrogation cause she dares to be honest about her methods of teaching her kids. Perhaps it's time that Unschooling4 could contribute without having every thread regarding school/education she posts in turning in to a thread where she becomes the focal point and people become h3ll bent on 'opening her eyes to the error of her ways.'
    Whilst I agree we should be kinder with our words, Unschooling is something so many of us don't understand so we do ask Unschooling4 questions about the theories behind it and yes our concerns.

    I don't think it's about opening her eyes to the error of her ways (at least its not for me - I'm interested in gaining knowledge) but she is a much better source of information to enable us all to understand the background of what is today in Australia not a very common practice at all.

    Back to your initial question @Freyamum, I know it's easier said than done but please don't feel guilty about utilising Childcare or early learning. You have 3 children, no family support, your husband doesn't seem to help with the youngest or understand what you're going through, so if you need to increase the hours your DD2 spends in Childcare for the sake of your mental health, then please just go for it.

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