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  1. #41
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    Oh well.. im constantly judged on here too.

  2. #42
    harvs's Avatar
    harvs is offline Winner 2014 - Spirit of BubHub Award
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    I'm not a huge fan of CC, but I'm a SAHM. I understand some women, especially in the city where rent and mortgages are insane, have to work. And why they are very touchy on the subject - because they feel the guilt from society.
    I just want to touch on this point, because I see this sentiment a lot.

    Sometimes women return to work because they *choose* to work and they get something intellectual, inspirational or otherwise from their career. It seems that it's considered okay for women to return work if there is a clear financial need, but for women to say 'hey, I'm working because I like it and my job/career is important to me' is somehow still considered less ok by many. Or at least, harder to understand maybe?

    It's taken me three years to just say 'I work because it's meaningful to me'. I could survive financially if I worked part time, but I hated that. But I always felt like I needed a 'reason' that society would accept. I wonder if I'm alone there?

    I know that wasn't your implication, just your comment made me think of this :-)

    Sorry, OT I know, just a thought I had...

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  4. #43
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    Busy-Bee is offline Offending people since before Del :D
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    DH and I have no support other than each other. We have no extended family or friends close enough to babysit adhoc let alone on a regular basis so childcare was used as our 'village'. I don't necessarily think that they 'learnt' much in the earlier years but they definitely got to have experiences that I would never have thought of or (I'll admit) I would have found too demanding to do on a remotely regular basis. I'm thinking of things like messy play, craft, painting with lots of different mediums, sensory play activities etc.
    I was never a 'natural' mum. I had never even held a baby before I had my son let alone changed a nappy or baby sat. I learnt a lot about how to interact and engage with other children from my children's child care experiencing childcare.

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  6. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    I just want to touch on this point, because I see this sentiment a lot.

    Sometimes women return to work because they *choose* to work and they get something intellectual, inspirational or otherwise from their career. It seems that it's considered okay for women to return work if there is a clear financial need, but for women to say 'hey, I'm working because I like it and my job/career is important to me' is somehow still considered less ok by many. Or at least, harder to understand maybe?

    It's taken me three years to just say 'I work because it's meaningful to me'. I could survive financially if I worked part time, but I hated that. But I always felt like I needed a 'reason' that society would accept. I wonder if I'm alone there?

    I know that wasn't your implication, just your comment made me think of this :-)

    Sorry, OT I know, just a thought I had...
    Oh absolutely! And I frequently say that - that some women are bored as bat sh*t at home. I find it just a valid a reason as the financial reason. But I more referred to the 'have to' mums bc I find they tend to be more defensive in these type of discussions about child care. As almost a 'please go gently here, as some women don't have a choice to use childcare' type thing after reading some cringe worthy comments about cc.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Busy-Bee View Post
    DH and I have no support other than each other. We have no extended family or friends close enough to babysit adhoc let alone on a regular basis so childcare was used as our 'village'. I don't necessarily think that they 'learnt' much in the earlier years but they definitely got to have experiences that I would never have thought of or (I'll admit) I would have found too demanding to do on a remotely regular basis. I'm thinking of things like messy play, craft, painting with lots of different mediums, sensory play activities etc.
    This is me as well. I'm a stay at home mom (2.5 and 4 months) and I am early childhood educated, was a nanny, doula and preschool teacher. But we live in another country from both our families and have no support group to call on for help. I am quite good at thinking up things to do but quite frankly I'm exhausted or just not in the mood to clean up a mess or be creative sometimes. DS goes to preschool three mornings a week and absolutely loves it and I do think he is thriving with it. Was he doing well with me, of course. But his language, independence, motor and social skills have all definitely improved and I do think that is happening, probably at a faster rate, because of his experiences at preschool. He goes to a Montessori and the classes are mixed ages and I think interacting with the 4 and 5 year olds on a regular basis has a big impact on him. I think it has been good for both of us, that he was getting a bit bored with me and I definitely needed a break. I also think it is important for him to learn how to foster relationships, problem solve, etc outside the comfort of knowing mom is there to fix it which is all obviously more likely to happen in instances where I am nowhere to be found.

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    Quote Originally Posted by monnie24 View Post
    I think it's important.

    When I socialise with non Childcare kids I notice a gap.


    What can you notice ? How can you tell?

  11. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by HollyGolightly81 View Post
    This is me as well. I'm a stay at home mom (2.5 and 4 months) and I am early childhood educated, was a nanny, doula and preschool teacher. But we live in another country from both our families and have no support group to call on for help. I am quite good at thinking up things to do but quite frankly I'm exhausted or just not in the mood to clean up a mess or be creative sometimes. DS goes to preschool three mornings a week and absolutely loves it and I do think he is thriving with it. Was he doing well with me, of course. But his language, independence, motor and social skills have all definitely improved and I do think that is happening, probably at a faster rate, because of his experiences at preschool. He goes to a Montessori and the classes are mixed ages and I think interacting with the 4 and 5 year olds on a regular basis has a big impact on him. I think it has been good for both of us, that he was getting a bit bored with me and I definitely needed a break. I also think it is important for him to learn how to foster relationships, problem solve, etc outside the comfort of knowing mom is there to fix it which is all obviously more likely to happen in instances where I am nowhere to be found.
    You said everything in a more educated way. Lol.

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  13. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Busy-Bee View Post
    DH and I have no support other than each other. We have no extended family or friends close enough to babysit adhoc let alone on a regular basis so childcare was used as our 'village'. I don't necessarily think that they 'learnt' much in the earlier years but they definitely got to have experiences that I would never have thought of or (I'll admit) I would have found too demanding to do on a remotely regular basis. I'm thinking of things like messy play, craft, painting with lots of different mediums, sensory play activities etc.
    I was never a 'natural' mum. I had never even held a baby before I had my son let alone changed a nappy or baby sat. I learnt a lot about how to interact and engage with other children from my children's child care experiencing childcare.
    I couldn't just thank this I had to acknowledge I feel exactly the same. 'Thanks'

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    So much all that, @harvs. Completely agree. I want to work more (currently 3 days) but I'm beung given significant 'mummy guilts' by family members who should know better.. sigh..
    @Unschooling4, you haven't answered the question, and I'm curious - what is it you're concerned about?

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    I really think you need to just do what is best for you. My kids didn't go to childare, but are they better off for it? Not necessarily. My youngest in particular struggled a lot with separation anxiety when going to school, but then she may have struggled like that going to childcare too.
    I worked in childcare for a couple of years and there were children who thrived, and children who didn't cope so well with it. I think it just comes down to individual personalities and situations. But it sounds like something you would get benefit from so why not? I wouldn't worry too much about whether others think it's right or wrong. Everyone makes decisions based on what is best for their family, but if you think you'd like the break and time to look into study, etc, then I would go for it. And if it doesn't work out like you hoped, it doesn't have to be forever.


 

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