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  1. #11
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    I'm back .

    We lost our daughter at 20 weeks, she died in utero and I had to be induced to give birth to her. I was pretty traumatized from the birth experience, not because it was out of the ordinary awful in regards to the actual labor and birth but just the trauma of giving birth to a dead baby, being worried it will happen again etc. Because of the support groups I joined after my loss i knew all the different reasons babies die and I was also adamant I didn't want to go overdue, besides also having a lot of anxiety throughout both pregnancies. With our daughter I had gone publicly and I am fairly convinced that is why some things went wrong, not that she could have been saved but there were definitely warning signs that got brushed off as 'normal' by my gp and midwives and I know if I had gone privately my OB would have at least looked into it further. Anyways...

    With ds1 I found a private ob that I absolutely loved, he was so patient with my insane anxieties and did whatever he could to ease them, including allowing me to come to his office weekly to have his midwife scan me to show me the baby was still alive, with no extra charge. We discussed not wanting to go overdue and his thoughts were that he would be happy to do an elective c/s anytime from 38 weeks but with induction he did not want to do it before my due date unless my body was showing signs of being ready for labor as he felt it increased the risk of a cascade of interventions and an emergency c/s. So the plan was to induce on my due date. We ended up moving to London before the birth and I found a private ob and we had the same plan, to induce on my due date. I ended up going into labor spontaneously at 39.3 (the morning after a very long walk) and the birth was amazing, very healing and exactly what I needed. I didn't really know I was in labor for half of it, I knew I was but the contractions were so short and no rhythm to them that I thought I probably wouldn't have him for a couple days so I went to a fetal well-being scan and ob appt I already had booked for that day. At the scan she couldn't even really measure him because he was so far down and when we left to walk to my ob appt my contractions got worse. When my ob saw me he goes 'you don't look too good, let me examine you.' Then, 'you're 5cm, you need to get to the hospital.' . Seriously the most satisfying thing to be told you are already 5cm when you had only just decided you were in labor! Went to the hospital and DH ran home to get a bag I hadn't even packed since I thought I had a few days until induction. I labored there for a few hours and then got an epidural. They examined me before the epidural and I was only 6cm, so hadn't progressed much since arriving at the hospital but once I had the epidural I dilated the rest in two hours and was ready to push. I'm convinced this is because I finally relaxed, that the pain was reminding me of loosing our daughter, and once the pain went away I stopped fighting it and just opened up. 20 mins of very calm pushing and there he was. A really lovely, quiet and calm experience. It was so healing.

    With ds2 the plan was the same, induction on my due and again I went into labor spontaneously a few days before my due date. This time I had had a stretch and sweep at my last midwife appt at 39.4 weeks, when she did it, although I was only about 2cm dilated she felt I was really showing signs of being ready and that I wouldn't make it to my induction date. That evening I did pelvic rotations and bounced on the birth ball for about 30 mins and woke at 1.30am to my waters breaking! His labor was a bit faster and more intense than ds1's (until I got the epidural again), I had these visions of trying the birthing pool at the hospital but instead it was a mad rush at 2.30 in the morning with me screaming in the car and telling the midwife I wanted epidural immediately upon the elevator doors opening. So a stretch and sweep and bouncing on the ball definitely worked for me. Like lady 'EM said, I think the fact you've been in labor and given birth before does work in your favor as your body kind of remembers what to do.

    How many weeks are you now? A rainbow pregnancy is so hard, I even struggled with awful anxiety through ds2's pregnancy, I don't think it ever really goes away. But hopefully you have an ob that really helps ensure that this birth experience is calm and healing for you. Have you been coping ok with your pregnancy?

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to HollyGolightly81 For This Useful Post:

    MrsMummaButterfly  (05-10-2016)

  3. #12
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    Congrats on your rainbow pregnancy! I had my rainbow in May, after a stillbirth in March last year.

    First of all, my rainbow pregnancy was one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through, mentally (after the loss of my angel, obviously). I never really believed it would work out and walked into my induction at 39+5 in tears because I hadn't felt her move in a couple of hours and I was convinced something terrible had happened.

    Hopefully it won't be stressful for you, but if it is, it's totally normal. When our babies die, so does our innocence.

    As for the birth, I was induced with all three of my kids - sunshine, angel and rainbow. All three only required the cervadil gel and I never laboured for more than 4 hours in total. This is despite my cervix being completely unprepared. In other words, the births were totally fine. In fact, after the stress of my rainbow pregnancy, I was a bit miffed the labour didn't last a little longer so I could really connect with it all!

    I do know one lady who had an elective c, after she lost her daughter during delivery. Obviously a vaginal birth was not really an option for her, emotionally.

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    HollyGolightly81  (04-10-2016),MrsMummaButterfly  (05-10-2016)

  5. #13
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    Hey lovely, I'm not sure how much of little A's arrival and the aftermath I have shared so subbing for when I'm near a computer. Glad things are going well x

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    MrsMummaButterfly  (05-10-2016)

  7. #14
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    @HollyGolightly81 @Sally1981 thank you for sharing your stories with me. Im so happy to hear of your positive stories and the safe arrival of your rainbow/s.
    Were you nervous about an induction and scared something may go wrong during labour?

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    Thanks @Tainted hope you both are going well hun xx

  9. #16
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    Thanks @babymummatobe they all sound like great suggestions. I hope they work hun and i cant wait to here of the safe arrival of your bubba x

  10. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrsMummaButterfly View Post
    @M'LadyEm

    Thank you so so much for your very detailed and thorough response.

    Thank you for giving me a medical point of view and making me realise that I need to believe in my body more.

    I know it changes from hospital to hospital and all depends on personal circumstances, but at what gestation are inductions normally offered?

    How early are things like stretch & sweeps offered to start things along before the catheter and syntocinon is offered?

    Hope you and bub are going well too hun xx
    Generally as close to 40 weeks as possible is better. You don't want to induce too early and risk complications with bub that could have been avoided.

    You could ask for a stretch and sweep from 37-38 weeks. Chat to your ob as to when they would recommend doing them. Realistically though it's up to you. You could ask for an induction at 40 weeks and have stretch and sweeps for a week or 2 before hand.

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    MrsMummaButterfly  (05-10-2016)

  12. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrsMummaButterfly View Post
    @HollyGolightly81 @Sally1981 thank you for sharing your stories with me. Im so happy to hear of your positive stories and the safe arrival of your rainbow/s.
    Were you nervous about an induction and scared something may go wrong during labour?
    I preferred an induction actually! I knew then I'd be labouring in hospital with monitoring. I was more worried about labouring at home and not being sure what was happening.

    I wasn't worried about labour but I'd had two previous births that were fast and uncomplicated (apart from the fact that DS2 was dying, but that was unrelated to the birth). I've heard a lot of people get worried about that though.

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    MrsMummaButterfly  (05-10-2016)

  14. #19
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    Thank you @Sally1981 and @M'LadyEm

    Lots to think about and thank you for sharing your knowledge and stories.


 

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