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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Louise41 View Post
    It's really sad that some women judge others on looks .
    This topic goes well beyond physicality though, as did the other thread. I would love to discuss things on a deeper level about why women automatically enforce a shutdown stance on valid discussion.

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  3. #12
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    Default The Sisterhood

    I'm going to try and be really concise here.

    I don't think it's ever okay to say negative things about someone's appearance, whether that be online, to another person face to face or directly to another person.

    Do I have a problem discussing a persons behaviour, decisions, thoughts? No.

    No if it's in a face to face discussion with someone, in an email, in private or even on BH (unless it is in relation to an actual hubber who is seeking help or advice, then I just don't post).

    I have a problem though if people are making their opinions known on a persons actions on their social media pages - that is a big no no as that is what does the most damage.

    We all have opinions and we are all entitled to express them..... I just know better than to do that on BH.

    Oh and it doesn't matter if they are male or female, the above remains the same.
    Last edited by A-Squared; 03-10-2016 at 21:04.

  4. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post

    We all have opinions and we are all entitled to express them..... I just know better than to that on BH.
    lol I agree

  5. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    This topic goes well beyond physicality though, as did the other thread. I would love to discuss things on a deeper level about why women automatically enforce a shutdown stance on valid discussion.
    Do they really though? No one was shutting down the "valid discussion" on the other thread. The areas which people didn't like (myself included) were comments about her looks or rude comments. Many of us were discussing the difficult path we weave through social media and how we worry about our children and its impact on them.

    Honestly I feel like we were in 2 different threads.

    I would never say about another human "I can't stand her" except perhaps someone like Trump (to give a modern example) and my reason for disliking him intensely is based on numerous statements he makes about the limitations of women.

    I tend to not judge someone based on being part of an industry I wish we didn't need. I think it's way more complicated than simply blaming magazines.

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  7. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    Do they really though? No one was shutting down the "valid discussion" on the other thread. The areas which people didn't like (myself included) were comments about her looks or rude comments.
    But by continuing to bring up a tiny portion of the discussions and making out that was the bulk/overarching theme I do think valid discussion is being shut down. That's not directed to you, just a completely general point.

    I would never say about another human "I can't stand her" except perhaps someone like Trump (to give a modern example) and my reason for disliking him intensely is based on numerous statements he makes about the limitations of women.
    Well, me too for the same reasons. But this goes back to personal ideology. Many argue those like Judd are also creating limitations for women as well just like Trump but the former is far more insidious. I don't mean Judd is doing it deliberately when I say insidious. I mean the messages she and those like her send can be far more covert for others, but nevertheless no less damaging.

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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    But by continuing to bring up a tiny portion of the discussions and making out that was the bulk/overarching theme I do think valid discussion is being shut down. That's not directed to you, just a completely general point.



    Well, me too for the same reasons. But this goes back to personal ideology. Many argue those like Judd are also creating limitations for women as well just like Trump but the former is far more insidious. I don't mean Judd is doing it deliberately when I say insidious. I mean the messages she and those like her send can be far more covert for others, but nevertheless no less damaging.
    Put it another way. Can we criticise the cause or the actions without criticising the person? Or is that not possible?

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  11. #17
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    Work uniform aside, I don't think we have any place to judge someone's appearance. It may not be to my taste, but that's their choice and I have no right to judge.
    It hasn't always been that way, though. Society unfairly and inaccurately depicts women's (especially) values, worth and intentions based on our appearance. It took a lot of personal growth and awareness for me to get to this point.

    As for the actions of people, I think women are just as accountable as men and shouldn't be treated gently because of their gender. Obviously, we need to be respectful about it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    Put it another way. Can we criticise the cause or the actions without criticising the person? Or is that not possible?
    I think so, yes. And that is best case scenario. I think people are attempting to express why her actions and what she stands for makes her less palatable. Her looks or clothes size has zero to do with my feelings. I'm not a fan of KK for exactly the same reason, yet she would be a size 12-14 here.

  14. #19
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    To answer the OP (or some of it!)...

    The Bec Judd thread actually got me thinking about whether I am part of this sisterhood or not, and made me reflect on the language I use about other women etc in a way that I haven't really before.

    It actually stopped me from commenting on another thread something about 'not being able to stand' someone who happens to be a female 'author' because I consider her to be an absolutely terrible writer. I felt like the language I instinctively went to use, not being able to stand her, rather than saying I don't like her books crossed a line of I guess 'sisterhood' and I didn't realise that I do that!

    So I guess in that sense my worldview is about trying to convey kindness and respect for the person if they have earned it or when I have no reason to treat/speak of them otherwise, even if for example I think they are a crap author or singer or whatever. Maybe moreso females if I think about it.

    Having said that, I do think that almost everyone in the public eye is fair game to discuss (respectfully), and I do think the 'you're just jealous' type responses are often unnecessary and a copout. I think there is a difference between discussing an 'issue' and a 'person' (which I alluded to on the other thread), and a social responsibility to be considerate of that.

    I also think comments about appearance are not on, and women should know better than to body shame.

    I don't know. This is a great question and I'm not 100% on how I feel.

    PS TOTES agree about Angelina btw

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    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post

    It actually stopped me from commenting on another thread something about 'not being able to stand' someone who happens to be a female 'author' because I consider her to be an absolutely terrible writer. I felt like the language I instinctively went to use, not being able to stand her, rather than saying I don't like her books crossed a line of I guess 'sisterhood' and I didn't realise that I do that!
    But had that author been male (I haven't seen the thread so have no idea who it is or what was said) would you have pulled yourself up? Or would you have just said he was a tool for x reasons?

    And to be clear, of course I support everyone being conscious of our language, but why does there seem to be this unsaid rule that the constraints are much tighter when talking about women? (individuals, celebs, the whole gender, whatever)


 

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