+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 32
  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    1,389
    Thanks
    758
    Thanked
    1,001
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    How are you going @Molly19 . I've been thinking of you.

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to mummymaybe For This Useful Post:

    Molly19  (26-10-2016)

  3. #12
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    23
    Thanks
    21
    Thanked
    8
    Reviews
    0
    .
    Last edited by duck07; 12-02-2017 at 19:55.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to duck07 For This Useful Post:

    Molly19  (26-10-2016)

  5. #13
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Posts
    16
    Thanks
    56
    Thanked
    8
    Reviews
    0
    Thank you all again so so much for your support.

    Ella Chloe was born sleeping 18.10.16 'Our love for you will never cease, you'll forever be our missing piece'

    We have been overwhelmed with the amount of support we have received from loved ones and strangers alike.
    IMG_1477474771.986390.jpg

  6. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Molly19 For This Useful Post:

    gingermillie  (27-10-2016),HollyGolightly81  (26-10-2016),Meld85  (27-10-2016),misho  (27-10-2016),OneCheekyMonkey  (02-01-2017)

  7. #14
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    1,389
    Thanks
    758
    Thanked
    1,001
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    @Molly19 I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. Ella is such a beautiful name and look at those beautiful toes.

    You are in my thoughts during this tragic time.

    Held for a moment, loved for a lifetime

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to mummymaybe For This Useful Post:

    Molly19  (26-10-2016)

  9. #15
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Posts
    16
    Thanks
    56
    Thanked
    8
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by M'LadyEm View Post
    @Molly19 what a horrible predicament you find yourselves in. I can't even begin to imagine having to much such a big decision, or going through with it for that matter. Some practical insight...
    - You should be linked in as soon as possible with the bereavement midwife at your delivering hospital. They will be able to help you with emotional support as well as practical support both before and after the birth of your little girl.
    - work out with your husband how you want to tell people. ie do you each tell your respective parents and ask them to pass on the news? It might save you having to repeat yourselves endlessly and will give you and your DH the chance to just be together.
    - who do you want to meet your little girl after birth? These are the people I would be talking to personally so that they know you want them to meet their granddaughter, niece etc.
    - at that gestation you will have a vaginal delivery unless there is some contraindication. It is far kinder on you to not have the pain of a caesarean while grieving for your daughter. Some women want to feel the pain of labour, some women want an epidural so they can be pain free as the thought of going through labour pains without a take home baby is too much for them. Either of these options and everything in between is absolutely ok and entirely up to you.
    - ask for the hospital to contact Heartfelt. They are a volunteer service of professional/semi-professional photographers who volunteer their time and skills so you have photographs of your baby when she's born sleeping. They could take photos during the labour if you wanted, or just take some photos of you and your little girl after birth. It's better to have these done as soon as possible after birth as this is the time baby will be in the best possible condition. Their skin is so fragile at that gestation.
    - usually the process of induction happens quite quickly after the termination of the pregnancy, provided you and your DH are ready. I guess no one is ever "ready" but you need to know if you're in the right headspace to get started. The procedure itself (to my basic understanding - we don't do them) is that the baby is injected with potassium chloride to stop her heart. I am not sure if they use other drugs as well but the potassium, I believe, is the most commonly used. As for knocking you out, I do not know the answer to that. I doubt they would reject any request for sedation during the procedure though. If they did they're heartless b@stards.
    - any baby over 20 weeks gestation is legally required to have their birth/death registered. You will also be required to have a funeral. If this is something you don't feel you can do, is there someone who you can delegate this to? Someone to take care of the "practical" details while you and your DH focus on each other and your beautiful baby girl.
    - what sorts of things do you want to do with your baby? Do you want to take her home? Do you want to sit and cuddle her in the sunshine? All of these things are absolutely possible. Please don't feel like you have to stay shut up in your hospital room with your daughter to grieve.
    - hopefully the hospital you're delivering at will have a "cold cot". This is a special cot designed to keep beautiful babies like you cool to help preserve their condition. It will also allow baby to stay in your room with you. Many people don't like the thought of their baby being in a morgue with strangers (I know I hate it, I just want to cuddle these babies so they don't feel alone, which might sound silly to some). Some people can't even bring themselves to see their baby. It all depends on you and what you want.

    As @TheGooch said, be kind to each other and allow yourselves to grieve. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. If you scream and shout, that's ok. If you sit and cry quietly in your room, that is ok too. Just know that there will be people around you to support you through. Please please make sure you and your DH talk about it, if not together, then to a counsellor. This is a horrible thing to happen to anyone. It is not fair that it is happening to you, sometimes life is just a real @rse.
    Thank you so so much for taking the time to share all of this info with me...I went into hospital at least with 'some' mental preparation for what I was about to face and I found it very reassuring so thank you again x

  10. #16
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Posts
    55
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked
    22
    Reviews
    0
    Sorry for your loss Molly. All she knew was love, everyday.

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to morganleroy For This Useful Post:

    Molly19  (26-10-2016)

  12. #17
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    4,388
    Thanks
    1,343
    Thanked
    2,825
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by Molly19 View Post
    Thank you so so much for taking the time to share all of this info with me...I went into hospital at least with 'some' mental preparation for what I was about to face and I found it very reassuring so thank you again x
    You are more than welcome. And what a beautiful photo xxx

  13. The Following User Says Thank You to M'LadyEm For This Useful Post:

    Molly19  (26-10-2016)

  14. #18
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    1,097
    Thanks
    1,443
    Thanked
    892
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I am so sorry for the loss of your little Ella. I'm glad you were in contact with Heartfelt, that is a beautiful photo. It truly is a pain like no other so I am glad you have lots of support around you. There is a private chat thread on here for mums who have lost their precious bubs, if you would like to join us I can send you the details.

    Thinking of you and your gorgeous girl x

  15. The Following User Says Thank You to Tainted For This Useful Post:

    Molly19  (26-10-2016)

  16. #19
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Posts
    597
    Thanks
    1,265
    Thanked
    980
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default feeling lost-

    I'm so so sorry for your heart breaking loss. I can't imagine the hurt your heart and soul must be going through. your little girl is so beautiful, Ella is such a pretty name.

  17. The Following User Says Thank You to Phia For This Useful Post:

    Molly19  (26-10-2016)

  18. #20
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Posts
    483
    Thanks
    225
    Thanked
    297
    Reviews
    0
    I'm so sorry you're dealing with one of the hardest things anyone can go through. Ella will always be a part of your family. Speak her name often. You will get through this xxx

  19. The Following User Says Thank You to BB77 For This Useful Post:

    Molly19  (26-10-2016)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Zoloft--feeling worse before feeling better
    By HollyGolightly81 in forum Postnatal depression
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 24-08-2016, 15:49
  2. FTM feeling Lost & Alone
    By BB1987 in forum Second Trimester Chat
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 14-06-2016, 19:48
  3. Feeling lost
    By JustUsFive in forum Feeling alone
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 09-02-2016, 16:27

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
ProSwim
ProSwim Rostrevor runs learn to swim classes for children and adults. Lessons are run during the Summer months (Oct-Mar). Our indoor centre at Plympton Park has lessons all year round, including school holidays.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!