I wasn't sure where to post this, as my partner and I already know we want at least 2 children, and we had also decided that we wanted less than 2 years between them so that they wouldn't remember life without each other. I'm sorry if I have posted in the wrong place, but I really need help. Our DD turned 1 3/9/16 and I went back to work in August so we were all set for our initial plan of starting TTC in November 2016.
But now that we're getting close to our original TTC date, I am starting to really worry. Firstly, we are not getting much sleep at all. DD is co-sleeping with us because she screams for hours on end if we try and put her in her own bed. We have tried moving her bed into our room and tried different beds but the only place she wants to sleep is on my chest. Thing is, even when she's in bed with us, she can take a long time to settle down and then for the last week, she has been waking up every 2 hours and won't go back to sleep. So I'm also still breastfeeding because it seems to be the only way to calm her down. She's better with naps during the day, sleeps in her own bed and although we generally hold her until she's mostly asleep, she will sometimes wake up a bit and then go back to sleep; I'm not sure why night time is so different.
We had a few weeks where we thought we were getting better, she went to sleep with us but then we could move her to her own room and she'd sleep there till around 2 in the morning, then we'd bring her back in with us. I was kind of coping with that. But now, she won't even let us do that.
We've been to sleep cottages and the Dr, there's nothing physically wrong with her, we've been told she's just a combination of very excitable, determined and intelligent and the result has been that even the sleep training people have given up and told us it will be ok because she will grow out of it eventually.
The second thing is, I really struggled with pregnancy last time. I had extreme morning sickness until about 20 weeks, then I had extreme heartburn that caused me to continue throwing up throughout my pregnancy, sometimes I threw up blood. I had SPD due to being sensitive to relaxin from about 15 weeks onwards and there were days when I couldn't walk, like getting to the bathroom to throw up was a mission and a half. Those were the worst symptoms, but there was also the leg cramps and swollen feet/legs. I was in very good shape before pregnancy and since then, I've lost all the weight easily, but I still have some hip and pelvic discomfort. Going to the gym helps a lot, but I haven't even been able to do that recently because DD's nap co-insides with the mums and bubs session. (We have no family nearby so no-one can ever help us with looking after DD).
These days, I find myself seriously questioning whether or not we could cope with a second child. Getting more than 4 hours of sleep a night is a real luxury and has been for months. At the moment, we all go up to bed when DD gets tired, usually we're in bed by 8 but then it can be hours before we're all asleep. Other nights it's only 5 minutes, but then she wakes up immediately if we try and move her, but if we don't move her, my partner and I are both falling off the bed because she spreads out completely so we can't really sleep.
We're both sore, tired, we rarely have time to DTD anyway so I have no idea how we'd even get pregnant lol, but our relationship is very strong and we still laugh about our predicament for the most part. We figure we'll have time when the children are older. This is probably the main reason my partner is so keen to have another now. He wants this stage of our lives to be over asap. He doesn't want to ever have to go back to not sleeping and dealing with a baby again. He is also really against having an only child and he wants them to be close in age like we both are with our siblings. I agree with him on all of these points, but I just don't know how I could do it. If I'm as sick, sore and sleep deprived as I was last pregnancy, plus I have DD to deal with, like it just seems terrifying and I feel like I'd be getting myself into a situation I just wouldn't be able to cope with.
Has anyone experienced anything like this? My partner keeps saying it will be ok because we've been told 18 months is some magical number when our baby will miraculously start being ok with sleeping, but I never imagined I'd have a 13 month old sleeping in bed with me, feeding like 4 times a night and now I can't seem to really convince myself that this stage really will end any time soon.
Thank you for reading.