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  1. #1
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    Default How much detail when explaining things to 4yo?

    My DD is almost 4 and recently has been asking lots of questions. A couple of examples are:

    the other day she saw me changing my pad in the bathroom and started asking about it and what the blood was, did I get hurt, why was I wearing a nappy. I replied that when girls grow up they get a period once a month where they bleed for a few days from their vag1na, it doesn't hurt but sometimes my tummy aches and the 'nappy' is called a pad and it's for adults.

    Then yesterday we bumped into my pregnant friend and afterwards DD asked how does the baby come out. I said when the baby is ready to come out the mummy will go to the hospital and a doctor will help get the baby out. She asked 'but how' so I said sometimes the doctor cuts the mummy's tummy open and pulls the baby out (I've had c sections and she's seen my scars so was relating it to that). Then she said 'so all mummies get cut open ?' and I said no some babies come out of the mums vag1na. Then she had some more questions about if the baby is coming out how does the mum do a wee etc which I answered.

    So my question is do you think this level of detail is appropriate for a 4 year old. I told my DH tonight and he got a bit annoyed and said I don't have to tell her everything and I shouldn't give so much detail. My thinking is if she's asking the questions she's looking for an honest answer and I want to tell her the truth and have her know she can always ask me anything and I'll try to answer the best I can. Also I feel like kids today have access to so much info and I'd rather she learn that she can come to me first rather than turning to the Internet or her friends etc. My mum never told me anything, the first time I got my period I thought I was dying, I think the is influencing me to want to be the total opposite with my girls. So what do you think? How much detail do you give to a 4 year old?

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    I think how you've explained it is excellent. Not only will it form a close bond between you both, where DD knows she can come to you to ask about anything, it's also fulfilling that little mind of hers. I have 4 daughters, if they ask, I will tell them too. My 4 year old asks all sorts of things too, and like you, I explain it so she will clearly understand. I haven't had to have the period talk with any of them yet, I know I should but I'm actually dreading that one for some reason. Thinks it's more so me not wanting my girls to grow up.

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    It's exactly what I tell my girls, who are 5 and 2. They are always stuck to me like glue so have asked questions about periods from a young age. I'm always honest. They know about eggs and sperm as they are sperm donor conceived, also they know I gave my sister eggs to help her have a baby.

    My daughter is obsessed with child birth and has been addicted to one born every minute since she was 2. I didn't realise the YouTube filter wasn't activated and she was watching babies being born there. I've since put the filter back on but sometimes I take it off and we watch babies being born together. I consider it a natural part of life, and I'm secretly hoping she becomes an obstetrician

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    Thanks for the replies! I told DH that the way I answered DDs questions was quite normal and most mums would reply the same way and he didn't believe me. I think I should show him your replies.

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    Yep my daughter asked similar questions around the same age and I was as honest as you are. My mum held quite a bit of information back from me and gave me the "kid version" of a lot of things and I had to ask my friends (or my brother, how embarrassing) a lot of things as I got older.

    My DD is now 7 and her latest question was "but why do you have a period"... my first reaction was to say "because the universal is a cruel, cruel place" but decided nope, lets just keep it basic, but still factual. She's now decided that men should also have periods to make it fair I didn't have the energy to go into how our bodies are different ha

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    Quote Originally Posted by Anjalee View Post
    My DD is now 7 and her latest question was "but why do you have a period"... my first reaction was to say "because the universal is a cruel, cruel place"
    I'd be inclined to answer the same way!

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    The important thing is to always answer, always without being flustered or embarrassed. I think you are handling the questions very well, but do be prepared to answer the same questions again, as they will forget and also require more detail as they get older. My mother would fob me off with some nonsense answer and be too embarrassed to offer any more details. funny how things change. Marie.

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    You handled the questions perfectly, I would have said the same things as you. I think your replies were age appropriate. If children are asking about these things, then in my opinion, it's a subject they are curious about and therefore should know answers to. Why give them a storybook version of the answer? Obviously I wouldn't go into minute detail of each thing, but my 4yr old (almost 5) son asked me recently about how his baby brother will come out (I'm due in 6 weeks) and I just told him, I'm going to push the baby out of my vagina, like doing a big poo. It's a bit more tricky explaining to a boy because he doesn't have a vagina, but anyway.. That's basically what I said haha! I told him it would be in the hospital and that the doctor will be there with me to help.

    He asks me so many questions about so many things.. And he really does absorb a lot of the details. His latest fascination has to do with dinosaurs and extinction. He asks LOTS of questions about things like comets hitting the earth and fossils.. I'm not that knowledgeable about it but I try to answer as well as possible without overwhelming him.

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    Definitely think your answers were appropriate. My DD1 is 3 in December and although I haven't had a period in 6 months when I did she used to ask what tampons were for etc. she also knows how babies are born and the other day she was in the car "pushing" her baby out 😂 She tells me when she is bigger she will have boobies and have babies in her belly too. I think it's such a normal part of everyday life. Especially as I'm pregnant and have so many friends who are pregnant or have been.

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    Same as my DS1. But I go into detail till he's satisfied.


 

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