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  1. #1
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    Default Feeling really, really down

    I don't really know why I'm posting. I'm just feeling so down and defeated after another failed cycle.

    I feel like a complete failure. I feel like nothing is ever going to work. I'm looking at how quickly this year is going and its hitting me that, its another year without having any success. Another year of heartbreak. Another year where come Christmas DH and I wont have our bub. And April will bring around 5 years TTC with nothing to show for it.

    I don't feel like I can stop crying. I'm still at work because I don't want to go home and face reality.


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  3. #2
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    Default Feeling really, really down

    @Mellie29 I couldn't just read & run. I'm so sorry you're going through this, it is the hardest thing in the world. I'm coming up to 4 years with four miscarriages of five babies & another five chems & my marriage is all but over too. I have no words of wisdom to offer, just loads of empathy & huge big cyber hugs. You are not a failure, life just really sucks sometimes..

    Do you have some good support around you?

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  5. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mellie29 View Post
    I don't really know why I'm posting. I'm just feeling so down and defeated after another failed cycle.

    I feel like a complete failure. I feel like nothing is ever going to work. I'm looking at how quickly this year is going and its hitting me that, its another year without having any success. Another year of heartbreak. Another year where come Christmas DH and I wont have our bub. And April will bring around 5 years TTC with nothing to show for it.

    I don't feel like I can stop crying. I'm still at work because I don't want to go home and face reality.

    Hugs Hun. Couldn't read and run when I know how you're feeling. This week marks 4 years since our first bfp and still no take home Bub after a MMC @ 12 weeks with our first bfp, mc @ 6 weeks Mother's Day 2013 & then Charlotte passing away in utero for no known reason in June this year. It especially pains me when you see in the news all the babies/children being abused or killed by their parents when people like us would give our right arm to have one. The universe needs a serious wake up call.

    I hope you have a good support network & maybe look for a counsellor who specialises in TTC and infertility. It helps just off loading on someone who isn't in the normal circle.

    Are you doing IVF? Been tested?

    Here if you want to talk xo

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    Default Feeling really, really down

    @Mellie29 I'm so sorry you are struggling. The pain is so real and every failed cycle is just another kick in the guts. I promise you aren't a failure, you are just struggling right now. 5 years of TTC with all of your looses is proof you are far from a failure.


    Also maybe consider a trip to the GP.

    You can also call Sands or use their online groups.


    Big hugs lovely lady.
    Last edited by mummymaybe; 26-09-2016 at 18:26.

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    I couldn't read and run either, I have no words of wisdom, life is just very unfair sometimes, huge huge hugs to you both - Mellie and Summer xxxxx

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  11. #6
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    harvs is offline Winner 2014 - Spirit of BubHub Award
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    Another one just wanting to send you my thoughts to you Mellie, a most beautiful hubber. I'm sorry this is so hard and you're feeling how you are. I can't even imagine what it's like. I hope you have someone you can talk to, and I really hope this is all a distant memory for you soon x

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    It's so unfair that some of us have to go through this. Sorry you are having such a hard time and I know there is nothing I can say to fix this for you but I read a short quote the other day that resonated with me "failure is not the opposite of success, it is part of success". We have been trying for over five years now and the way I try and look at it is that we are now five years closer to holding our little one in our arms xo

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    @Mellie29 oh sweetheart, this is such a heartbreaking and difficult journey.. Of course you are feeling defeated and sad.. Five years
    You are not alone.
    There is a whole community of people here to give you online hugs and support, and although you might be feeling overwhelmed right now, I hope you are accessing some professional support out there. Sometimes a chat can open up possibilities you haven't considered yet. My FS has been useless, but my Counsellor was great.
    You aren't a failure, it's just a frucking mystery why it's easy for some and not for others.
    And, if you've just had an IVF cycle those drugs can really mess with your emotions.
    Treat yourself gently luv, sending you hugs. Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

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    Thank you so much everyone for your kind words. I'd been doing okay up until today. I can't express how much your comments mean to me xxxxx

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mellie29 View Post
    Thank you so much everyone for your kind words. I'd been doing okay up until today. I can't express how much your comments mean to me xxxxx
    Some days are easier than others and we do what we have to do to get through be it go for a walk, scream at the universe or just curl up on the bed and have a good cry. Nothing is right nothing is wrong, do what you need to and we are always here to listen xo

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