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  1. #41
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    I would let her. Most teenagers experiment with looks, all part of growing up. And at the end of the day, its only hair.

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  3. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by Janesmum123 View Post
    Honestly I'm not even comfortable to let her go to the shopping centre with just her friends but I had to let go and put rules around how we can agree for her to go e.g pick her up, drop off, time limit, can't leave the centre etc.
    It's so hard!
    I let the nails thing slide for now since she seems to just want the process of getting them done rather then the outcome. She did settle on very subtle nails... But then this is just the beginning.
    I might see if she will settle for a hair cut and treatment.
    Then I feel so bad for her because she has terrible acne and I know she is doing little things to make herself feel better. I don't want to take that away from her.
    Arhhhhhhh... This teenage thing is hard stuff!
    Once again...I think we are living parallel lives haha!

    What are her friends like? I like my DDs friends and I've made an effort to get to know them, I invite them window shopping with us, for sleepovers and just to hang out on the weekend. In some ways I am "friends" with my DDS friends while still being a parent. Some of DDS friends call me their 2nd mum ☺. I think developing that relationship helps me trust that they will do the right thing when they go to the shops on their own (I have the same rules as you...)

    My DD is quite obsessed with nails she buys those cheap glue-on nails from Kmart and plays around with them and nail polish all the time. She also recently had Shellac nails done while we're in Bali...but acrylics have been a no so far (except for her graduation...).

    It's quite funny having a girl so into this stuff as I'm not into nail/hair etc at all. But she enjoys it, and that's ok by me.
    Last edited by Kaybaby; 26-09-2016 at 21:49.

  4. #43
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    Looking back on my own childhood I'm not sure there's much point fighting it . That being said Perhaps some gentle guidance wouldn't go astray (daughter can pay for it herself, hairdresser can give her a hair care lesson at the same time etc).

    Now I am older and wiser I think I would secretly be a little disappointed that my child thought looks were important, that she needed to change her appearance. Yes I know that's what teenagers do. And I'm not saying I would not let my child dye her hair. Just that I might throw in a few volunteering to help the less fortunate missions in the mix. Anything to take the focus off the looks and put it onto the person. Young girls focusing on looks leads to heartache in the end.

  5. #44
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    Default 13 year old and hair colour question?

    Quote Originally Posted by Unschooling4 View Post
    . Educate them, walk ti them about your concerns etc but at the end of the day let them make their own choices.
    I think you've simplified the issue far too much. If you let a 13 year old be the final decider of everything then you're headed for disaster. The human brain doesn't fully mature until the age of 27.

    Would you let your 13 year old have her boyfriend have a sleep over in her room for the night?

    Would you let your 13 year old have a party at your house with grog readily available to herself and her friends? Would you let her invite a 30 year old friend she met online to the party?

    You can't let a 13 year old do whatever they want. Well you can but be prepared for the consequences (raising your own grandchild etc).
    Last edited by VicPark; 27-09-2016 at 05:34.

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  7. #45
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    I wouldn't have any issue with her getting a few foils, can you turn it into a fun Mother/Daughter day out and get yours done as well?

    I would be more worried about her nails, acrylics will ruin her nails. A few foils isn't going to ruin her hair.

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  9. #46
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    At 13 I would go to the hairdresser with my Mum and get a few foils (I have dark blonde hair), a trim and a blow-dry. I would also go with her while she got acrylic nails to get a manicure with clear polish (light pink on school holidays). Honestly I look back on my teenage years and love that my Mum 'allowed' me to feel a bit more grown up. I have never used a supermarket hair dye in my hair, still just have monthly manicures with clear polish and now only get my hair done twice a year since I moved out and have to pay for it myself

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    @Janesmum123 as for your DD's acne, have you gone to the GP? You can get prescription topical ointments such as epiduo gel which work really well and may help clear it up, or at least lessen her acne.

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    OK Guess I'm going against the grain. I would let her do it.

    Actually, my DD has been colouring her hair shortly after she turned 10. Firstly is was with those "Bright Colour" packet mixes. She'd have a rainbow head ie streaks of blue, red, pink, purple and green. I must admit that she does have brown hair so you could really only see the colour in the sun.

    When she was 10 1/2 she started having streaks bleached in her hair for blue to be placed over it so that it's really noticeable. I have her hair streaked with a hairdresser and every few weeks I re-apply the blue. She probably has about 10 streaks.

    I've always had a deal with her that she can do whatever she wants with her hair because she can always grow it out, but I don't want face piercings.

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  13. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by Life is Good View Post
    OK Guess I'm going against the grain. I would let her do it.

    Actually, my DD has been colouring her hair shortly after she turned 10. Firstly is was with those "Bright Colour" packet mixes. She'd have a rainbow head ie streaks of blue, red, pink, purple and green. I must admit that she does have brown hair so you could really only see the colour in the sun.

    When she was 10 1/2 she started having streaks bleached in her hair for blue to be placed over it so that it's really noticeable. I have her hair streaked with a hairdresser and every few weeks I re-apply the blue. She probably has about 10 streaks.

    I've always had a deal with her that she can do whatever she wants with her hair because she can always grow it out, but I don't want face piercings.
    We're the same! From 10 my kids can go nuts with bright hair colours. We use BRITE hair, it works for brunettes without bleaching first, can not damage their hair at all, and it's a completely ethical company. They love it! But no tongue piercings or spacers.

  14. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Full House View Post
    @Janesmum123 as for your DD's acne, have you gone to the GP? You can get prescription topical ointments such as epiduo gel which work really well and may help clear it up, or at least lessen her acne.
    Yes I have taken her to our GP. We have tried many creams, lotions, washes. She is using a medicated face wash now which helps dry them out.
    Only other option was the pill or antibiotics (long term use). Neither of those options I liked neither did DD.
    The GP says it hormonal and is pretty sure they will start to settle down by 16.
    There is another medication which I've forgotten the name of which can be used but GP said the side effects are too high to justify using it in DD situation.


 

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