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  1. #31
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    Default 13 year old and hair colour question?

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    Look, I work with kids/teenagers who are regularly getting arrested, shoplifting, engaging in arson, assaulting others, self-harming and drug taking. They've all been abused and/or neglected, some very severely...so to me, hair colour seems like a complete non-issue :P

    I cringe at the thought of my daughter caring so much about appearance, but honestly, I know that's how our society treats girls and women...what we're forever told is important. At 4, my daughter is very aware that she gets complimented on her looks if she wears "pretty" dresses and has her hair done nicely, consequently she wants to wear dresses and have her hair done. As much as I hate it, I still let her make her choices.

    In this case, it would purely be the money that would bother me. If she's able to pay for it and any upkeep, then that's fine. That might mean saving up some money to do so.

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  4. #33
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    As long as it fits with in the school rules i would go with her and make it a pamper day. A bonding/right of passage thing. Turn the negivite into a positive.
    The colour her hair is really a small/non issue compared to some you will undoubtly face in the near future. I would use it to your benefit.

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    A-Squared  (27-09-2016),BornToBe  (27-09-2016),Little Miss Sunshine  (26-09-2016),Sonja  (26-09-2016)

  6. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by LoveLivesHere View Post
    As long as it fits with in the school rules i would go with her and make it a pamper day. A bonding/right of passage thing. Turn the negivite into a positive.
    The colour her hair is really a small/non issue compared to some you will undoubtly face in the near future. I would use it to your benefit.
    That was the issue I had when DD found a alternative hair idea and wanted teal mermaid ends so we waited until school holidays so it would be washed out/faded by the time school was back in.

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    It would not be an issue for me at all at 13...I'd go with not too many so it growsout okay, or a blonde ombre on the ends (avoids the whole re-growth thing). I coloured and bleached my hair lots as a teenager, and did ruin it...but it's hair, it grew in healthy and the issue was gone.
    Last edited by Full House; 26-09-2016 at 19:33.

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  9. #36
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    OP - can I add there are now products on the market that lots of hairdressers use that do not damage hair like bleach does. One of them is called Olaplex (probably the best known) but there are now others.

    So if you are worried about damaging hair that may help ease your mind.

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  11. #37
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    Personally, I wouldn't have an issue with the foils, but the cost for upkeep would concern me. I wouldn't be allowing it unless she could pay for it (or at least part of it) in an ongoing way.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Miss Sunshine View Post
    I think at 13 it's more than ok to dye your hair.
    It's not her fault if she looks older and to deny her on these grounds I think would be unfair and unreasonable. Foils are hardly inappropriate or outrageous or permanent (hair grows back).
    I think it's great that she asked you first.
    And much better than a DIY job.
    Agreed.

    At 13 I was dying my hair every colour under the sun - and I usually WAS doing DIY jobs. I killed my hair many times over (can anyone say black to blonde to black again) but it's just hair. It does grow back. I think of all the 'mistakes' teenagers can make, dying their hair and damaging it in the short term, or not liking the way it turned out, is really no big deal.

    Funnily enough, I'd have a problem with the acrylic nails, but only because I think they look awful on anyone, not because she was 13.

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  14. #39
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    Another way to look at it is that teenagers like to experiment with their looks. They're going through a huge transition and figuring out who they are. A big part of that is experimenting with their physical appearance. I think it's worth saying yes sometimes, so that when you say no, they're less likely to do it behind your back.

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  16. #40
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    I would probably say yes but make her pay for it at a hairdresser.


 

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