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  1. #91
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    Quote Originally Posted by Full House View Post
    I'm not questioning anyone's parenting styles, I was just posting in support for the pp, who has unnecessarily become the focus of this thread.
    Yes I know you weren't I was just wanting to clarify that not parenting without boundaries or rules doesn't mean parenting as "bc I told you so". I don't think the pp has become the focus as such just that she replied she parents this way and discussion has been based on that.

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  3. #92
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unschooling4 View Post
    To answer the questions about teeth brushing and showering...

    1. With the teeth brushing I would talk and listen to my child. I would try and see from their point of view and offer and help/guidance etc. If it was because they didn't like the taste of toothpaste or thought it was bad, we would look into a milder one. I would let them choose one they did want. I would suggest doing without the toothpaste and just use a tooth brush instead. I would talk to them about hygiene and how they'll hsve bad breath and that people will find it offensive. I would let them know if they didn't brush their teeth we would hsve to pay thousands to hsve them fixed if they did get really bad and that money could have been used for other things we want/need as a family like a nice holiday or put towards a car for when they're older. I would role model ( I do anyway) and set a good example and brush my teeth often (every day) with my children. I would possibly get a dentist to talk to them about how not brushing teeth can affect the gums and your overall health (gum problems can lead to heart problems). I would talk to them about what it's like at the dentist (not scaring them, just letting them know what happens)..

    2. The showering and not brushing hair.. This does happen here. My kids do not shower every day unless they want to. During Summer they tend to shower more often to cool themselves down, plus we have the baby pool and we put soap and bubbles in there too. I don't believe kids need to bathe or shower every day. I don't. If they're dirty there are flannels and buckets they can use to wash themselves. If they do get smelly I would talk to them in private without shaming them and let them know. I would tell them if they don't wash properly or more often (though not every day) it can be offensive to others. I would talk to them about hygeine (or lack of) and the effects it has not only on them but other people. I hsve a dayghter who will be 12 next week and is going through puberty. No doubt she'll be getting her period within the next year or so ( night eveh be this year) and we hsve already spoken to her about cleanliness and hygeine when it comes to this as well as BO. The hair brushing...well my two daughters (almost 12 and 9) often get knots. The 9 year old hates getting her hair brushed. I let her choose a brush and detangle spray. I help her brush it in the shower ( she likes the company and it's less painful), I explain what would happen without regular brushing/combing.. There was a time her hair was almost in dreadlocks actuslly. I bought my girls a hair style book too which they often read and do different hair styles. We often make hair masks ourselves and use these. My 9 year old for the past two weeks has really been trying hard to take care of her hair so we encourage that and compliment her on it.
    This is all great but the PP asked what if they after your healthy guidance STILL didn't want to brush their teeth - ever - what would you do? Obviously your kids do brush their teeth, but if they didn't after that guidance what would you do? Stand next to them while they brushed every day or just let them not brush their teeth - their body their choice??

  4. #93
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    This is all great but the PP asked what if they after your healthy guidance STILL didn't want to brush their teeth - ever - what would you do? Obviously your kids do brush their teeth, but if they didn't after that guidance what would you do? Stand next to them while they brushed every day or just let them not brush their teeth - their body their choice??
    I'm genuinely interested too. Or if they didn't want to ever bathe. Or refused to take AB's for an ear infection. If after discussion and coaxing they still blatantly refused, what happens?

  5. #94
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    This is all great but the PP asked what if they after your healthy guidance STILL didn't want to brush their teeth - ever - what would you do? Obviously your kids do brush their teeth, but if they didn't after that guidance what would you do? Stand next to them while they brushed every day or just let them not brush their teeth - their body their choice??
    I have an 11 year old. She's nearly as tall as me. At that age it's actually almost abuse to force them to do something physical. I can't brush her teeth for her if she won't. It would be too difficult and if I held her down while I did it it would be a form of assault.

    I think these scenarios are actually pretty unlikely. My older 2 kids brush their teeth twice a day every day for the same reasons any of us do. Yes kids can be wilful about these things but in my experience sometimes the more dictatorial I am the more they rebel.

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  7. #95
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I have an 11 year old. She's nearly as tall as me. At that age it's actually almost abuse to force them to do something physical. I can't brush her teeth for her if she won't. It would be too difficult and if I held her down while I did it it would be a form of assault.

    I think these scenarios are actually pretty unlikely. My older 2 kids brush their teeth twice a day every day for the same reasons any of us do. Yes kids can be wilful about these things but in my experience sometimes the more dictatorial I am the more they rebel.
    This calls for a spin off!

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    I don't think anyone is suggesting they are held down lol but as a parent there would be consequences for not bathing, brushing teeth or taking meds. And I'm not ashamed to admit bribery sometimes happens in our house to get them to do things they need to do

    Both of which are clear no nos in this type of parenting.

  9. #97
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    This calls for a spin off!
    I was thinking that too.

    At the end of the day there isn't a one size fits all solution for these scenarios. You try something and it works or it doesn't so you try something else. And then what worked once never works again.

    Parenting is exhausting

  10. #98
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    This calls for a spin off!
    Good idea!

    Sorry OP but I find the topic of autonomy with kids fascinating, and your hair question spurned it

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    My DD (nearly 13) has asked to get her hair done, and I have that put to the side for time being. But what she is on about at the moment is Instagram - grrrr.Parenting IS exhausting !! God give me strength LOL

  12. #100
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    Quote Originally Posted by 4LeafClover View Post
    My DD (nearly 13) has asked to get her hair done, and I have that put to the side for time being. But what she is on about at the moment is Instagram - grrrr.Parenting IS exhausting !! God give me strength LOL
    I'm not looking forward to puberty AT all! I have 3 girls, luckily youngest is still a baby but babies are so much easier than teens. Dd1 is in high school year after next and quite frankly l'm scared already lol.


 

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