At Xmas we buy for the kids. We also buy for my siblings and partners sister (plus their partners too) and our patents. We don't bother with aunties and uncles etc
We agreed on a set amount for siblings & nieces/nephews amongst our families (spend whatever we want on parents). Is that an option? Could you find a figure that is comfortable & agreeable?
I like to budget for all gifts over the year so this helps to plan. Also takes any awkwardness out of varying contributions.
Another idea is to agree to spend time together in lieu of presents. I.e., all families go to a theme park/theatre/event & you pay for your family.
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