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  1. #31
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    We do bday gifts for our parents, siblings and BILs (between us currently 4 siblings, 2 BILs), kids (currently 2 nieces & a nephew). Mothers and Father's Day for our parents. All at $100 each. Xmas in my family is a Kris Kringle at $250 from me, $250 from hubby. We also still buy my parents a present from our daughter for xmas as they do so much for us, usually $100 combined for them. So we spend a lot on presents! But thankfully we're all quite comfortable and have good jobs so it isn't a strain.

  2. #32
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    Interesting thread.
    We are about to have our first baby, which will also be the first grand baby on both sides of our family.

    At the moment, DF family don't buy sibling gifts for birthdays, but we do a secret santa for Xmas for $50pp. DF parents get a pretty nice gift from us for their birthdays and mothers/ Father's Day as they spend easily $500-$1000 on both DF and I for both our birthdays and then again for Xmas.

    My family is a bit different as my siblings are still in high school so I would never expect them to buy gifts for me. Mum still buys Xmas presents on their behalf for us at Xmas time, and we will get them something for Xmas and their birthdays and we get mum something nice (usually a voucher to pamper herself and have a weekend away as she would never treat herself otherwise).

    My dad and step mum expect gifts for birthdays, mothers/ Father's Day, and Xmas. However we rarely see them so don't buy gifts just because they expect us too. Step brother and step sister will get a voucher at Xmas as we only see them once a year usually, so easiest idea is a gift card, they give us the same thing so it works out well. We do buy presents at Xmas for step mum and dad, however it is usually a joint gift as we don't see them often enough to know what they like, want, need etc.

    However, it will be interesting to see if this changes when Bub is born.

  3. #33
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    My MIL and FIL get presents for Christmas. Sometimes their birthdays and just stuff from the kids for mothers/Father's Day. We don't buy any gifts for BIL or SIL that are in their 20s but we do buy a gift for BIL that is 11. We buy birthday and Christmas gifts for our two nephews.
    We sometimes buy each other gifts for birthday and Christmas but only if it's something we really want, don't just buy any old thing for the sake of giving a gift. I never really got into the giving gifts to other adults thing. I stopped getting gifts from my own parents once I hit 18 so maybe that's where I get it from.

  4. #34
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    We do bday presents for my parents,
    ($50 each), sister and BIL ($30-40 each). Xmas we buy for my Parents, sister and BIL - I've tried to organise secret Santa before but they've said no but we've got a $40 limit. Maybe when they have kids they might be more inclined to do secret Santa

    On DH'S side we only really do xmas for FIL ($100) and our nieces ($40 each). About 6 years ago us, BIL and SIL agreed not to do presents
    Last edited by smallpotatoes; 24-09-2016 at 21:09.

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by MaybeBabyIVF View Post
    DHs sister expects everyone to still do gifts and gives us a list of what she wants every year.
    Oh yeah, we've been given lists before for our nieces too. Once this included an iPad each (we ended up buying just one and the parents bought the other), and most recently a set of Beats headphones. The kids are 8 and 9.

    I think once we have our own baby we won't be seen as the 'rich' aunt and uncle anymore, and the lists will become more reasonable.

  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shoopuf View Post
    Oh yeah, we've been given lists before for our nieces too. Once this included an iPad each (we ended up buying just one and the parents bought the other), and most recently a set of Beats headphones. The kids are 8 and 9.

    I think once we have our own baby we won't be seen as the 'rich' aunt and uncle anymore, and the lists will become more reasonable.
    Haha no I'm talking about a list for a woman who is 36

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to MaybeBabyIVF For This Useful Post:

    witherwings  (24-09-2016)

  8. #37
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    Default Extended family gifts - where to draw the line?

    Quote Originally Posted by sunnygirl79 View Post
    Omg a car. You have a harder one than me! We bought MIL a Thermomix as a combined present a few years ago, that was extreme but she really wanted one and couldn't afford one so we all chipped in. I was ok with that, it was a surprise gift and not even a birthday gift. She looks after our DS1 one day a week so we figured it was worth more than that in daycare fees saved.

    Re contributing less, we have done that on occasion but we feel bad. It doesn't feel nice to be giving less than everyone else and simply contributing $ each time takes the joy of giving away, IMO.
    Yeah I personally don't like giving combined gifts for family.. But then, we don't do gifts for family that often anyway lol we do combined gifts for friends a lot because we have a large group of mutual friends, around 20 people, so it's always someone's bday and to make sure no one is left out, someone always organises a big gift from the group. They do something similar a lot of times for kids of people in the group. I don't mind contributing in that instance to a group present because I'm one of those people who really doesn't like shopping, and I get stressed thinking about what to buy and having to go out and buy it .. I'm weird. It's usually only a $20 contribution or something so it's not a huge deal.

    With family, as I said, it's usually just a family dinner. I didn't buy either of my siblings a present this year. Actually, wait, I did get my brother & his wife a family annual membership to the Australian museum but that was $80 and it was a present for both of them (their bdays are close together).

    We did a joint present for my dad's milestone bday (60) a few years ago. We got him one of those memorial newspaper things from the year he was born, and it was bound in a leather folder, really special. He loved it and it wasn't expensive, especially when we all chipped in.

    Wish MIL would be happy with something like that lol DH and I usually get her a bottle of Chanel perfume.

    Just want to add, I'm also not fussed at all about getting presents myself. If DH buys me something for my bday I usually feel like he's wasted money. Before we had kids he used to do experience gifts for me which were awesome, and the year I had my first DS, he gave me a day spa gift voucher. But since then I don't actually want or need anything. A card and taking the kids out so I can relax is all I need
    Last edited by witherwings; 24-09-2016 at 21:35.

  9. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by MaybeBabyIVF View Post
    I love gift giving when I go and find stuff I know they will like but I don't like being given a list and told that we need to buy off it kinda defeats the purpose of gift giving. Christmas last year we had bought her children their gifts and was told to take it back and get something else. Then got in trouble for buying the kids a bigger joint present for them that they could both play with and have fun together with. We bought her present off her 'list' and I put thought into her hubbies present and got something personal for him he'd use. Hubby got his present and I got a $10bottle of wine... I'd much rather just go out for a nice meal and have a good feed and some drinks. But I get annoyed at double standards.
    Next time give her a list too!

  10. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by MaybeBabyIVF View Post
    Haha no I'm talking about a list for a woman who is 36
    Oh dear. That's pretty bad! I thought it was bad that BIL and SIL write lists of expensive crap for extended family to buy for their kids!

  11. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by MaybeBabyIVF View Post
    Haha no I'm talking about a list for a woman who is 36
    My BIL used to do this, aged 32-33. He used to ring my husband and give him a list. I never got him anything, nor wrote my name on his Christmas Card. He is a classic case of spoiled dysfunction and greed.


 

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