I am interested to hear how others manage gifts among their extended families. Birthday gifts for adults in particular.
Before we had kids it was pretty standard in both DH and I's families to each buy one another birthday gifts around $100 in value. Now that there are several children, partners etc it's getting ridiculous. Some months we have 4+ family birthdays and this is in addition to the engagements, weddings, mothers & fathers days, plus our own kids birthdays and friends bdays etc. It totals thousands of dollars a year which we just don't have money for especially right now.
I will add that in our extended family often it's one person organising a 'large gift' for the birthday person and asking for contributions. It becomes tricky because we don't want to always be the ones saying 'oh no we will get a separate gift' or that we can only contribute a small amount knowing that every other couple is contributing twice as much. We end up feeling really stingey but just don't know how to manage this?!
This month we have FIL's 70th and we are all sharing a large beach house on and island for 5 days at shared expense. Then BIL says how much do we want to contribute for a gift... I thought the family holiday was the gift?! As it's costing a bomb.
DH brought up a good point today - how long do we keep buying our siblings gifts?? It's not like our parents buy their siblings birthday gifts every year in their 50's and 60's. A card yes, maybe a bottle if wine if they happen to see them on the day and maybe something for big milestone bdays but certainly not $50-$100 presents each year!
What do others do? Anyone else in the same boat?