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  1. #31
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    Thanks Vic

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    VicPark  (21-09-2016)

  3. #32
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    Well I thought I'd give abit of an update.

    Despite asking for my parents to just communicate with me and apologising again my parents are not even staying at all now. Not sure what they are doing. They graciously accepted 'my apology' and said they don't want to talk about it again. My father has avoided me and my mother has been giving me so much information about them taking 6 weeks to get a bridging loan (news to me) then goes onto a rant about 'what have they done to deserve this year that she gives change who needs it at the shops and donates to Down's syndrome babies'

    So now I've just said nothing. They've clearly made me the bad guy. They do not have the emotional intelligence to reflect on their part in this situation. They somehow believed that they didn't need to clear anything with me or DH about living with us for a month plus and when I railed against it they were shocked. I am still in disbelief that they didn't have the courtesy to just ask but instead presume and that at my age they still think they can tell me how it's going to be in my own house. And Instead of talking about it like I said I needed they have buried their head in the sand. If I wasn't their daughter they would cut me out of their life no problem like they have done to many in the past.

    So while I feel terrible I also feel really really angry and not really sure what to do. Talking to them is like talking to a brick wall and I'm not sure bringing it up again would make them see my point. But I really want them to see that they had a part to play in this!

  4. #33
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    TheGooch is offline Winner 2014 - Newbie of the Year
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    Default Issues with my parents coming to stay..

    Whilst it sounds uncomfortable for now, I'm kind of glad for you that they've decided not to stay at all. Ignore the negative behaviour. Be your fabulous self and don't tip toe around. They have made a decision. Do not allow them to guilt you about it.

    You're not likely to ever get them to understand their part. So try to move on from that. All you can do now is manage your own behaviour into the future

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    Naboo  (03-10-2016)

  6. #34
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    About 4-5 years ago my mom and her partner came to stay. We said one week not two. She decided it would be two anyway. I was living with my sister and her husband at the time in a 2 bedroom unit. My mum doesn't get the concept when we say there is no space. So halfway through she went to Sydney for a couple of days to give us respite ( they are not from here, international) and once she got home she wrote us a long ranting email about how my sister and I were bad daughters and examples of how other peoples children were better and how we could improve ourselves. My sister was absolutely devastated. I just said we need to fffing ignore her. So we did for about 6-12 months. She got the hint.

    Not quite the same circumstances as yours and to this day I don't think she sees it still. She wants to come in January when my baby arrives when I've repeatedly gently said how about late January. I'm a bit soft I think. Point is the relationship will get back to where it is. My mom learned from this that parental love is not the same as their child's love.

    There's no winning in arguing any points right now as long as you got what you want.

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    Naboo  (03-10-2016)


 

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