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  1. #1
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    Default Today

    Three months ago ferocious storms lashed Sydney. The waves crashed in time after time against the beach where I live, washing away structures, landmarks and cutting into the psyche and wellbeing of the local community.

    This same weekend I had an ectopic pregnancy with the removal of my much wanted little one, and a fallopian tube. The beach is still there, though the surrounding landscape is ripped, scarred and torn. The beach is slowly being repaired, one truck of rock and sand at a time.

    So am I. Today was the first time I ventured down to the beach. Til now I have not wanted to view the loss, the heartbreak and the destructuon.

    Standing on the shifting sand, I am processing what I can see. I am also processing how I feel.

    I too am being rebuilt, one day at a time. I hurt every single day. On the outside I am mostly the same. On the inside I have days when I feel utterly broken. I miss that my little one did not get to become the pregnancy I wanted.

    I think of my lost pregnency each time I see a mother with a newborn. But I am heartbreakingly happy that that mother has her child safely in her arms.

    I hope that one day that will again be me. But I do not know if that will happen.

    As I process what happened I do begin to slowly feel brighter. As the suns come through the clouds I do see beauty and hope.

    Life goes on day after day and is ever constant. So is my love for my little lost child. I will always wonder who you would have been.
    Last edited by Ever1013; 16-09-2016 at 11:51.

  2. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Ever1013 For This Useful Post:

    babyno1onboard  (17-09-2016),Olive Oil  (16-09-2016),VicPark  (16-09-2016),witherwings  (16-09-2016)

  3. #2
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    What a beautifully articulated post.

    I'm sorry to read that you're going through this. I know that it can feel like you're alone, but I just wanted to say that you're not. As someone that has been in your spot, yearning for a baby that can no longer be, it does get easier with time. Sending massive hugs x

  4. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to atomicmama For This Useful Post:

    Ever1013  (16-09-2016),VicPark  (16-09-2016)

  5. #3
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    Thankyou Atomicmama. I appreciate your thoughts

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