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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by BB77 View Post
    I still remember being around 5 and my dad sitting on my bed making up stories and making me giggle before I fell asleep. They're some of my fondest memories of my childhood. Don't feel bad for doing what you're doing.
    Me too! I remember my dad laying with me and saying 'let's play a game, first one to fall asleep (or go without talking the longest) wins!' I always lost

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    Albert01  (14-09-2016),BB77  (13-09-2016)

  3. #32
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    We've done it for our kids. DS1 I used to have to stay until he was asleep. DD i sing 6 songs and have a quick chat. DS2 is breastfed and cuddled and kissed. I think it's an important stage of their lives and in our family its what we do

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  5. #33
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    Yup. I'm struggling to see your husband's side.

    Usually DP stays with our 4 year old for 'long cuddles'; laying on her bed cuddling... I usually come in for at least part of stories and give her a hug. I breastfeed DS (15 months) to, or near to, sleep on the 4-5 nights a week that I'm home, and would lay with him if he weren't in a cot.

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    Albert01  (14-09-2016)

  7. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elijahs Mum View Post
    I love this article

    https://www.babble.com/parenting/i-s...my-6-year-old/

    Six years deep, and I’ve been through enough phases — enough beginnings and ends — to know that this, too, will end. He simply doesn’t need me in all the ways he used to, which is good and right and, in many ways, relieving. One day he won’t want me in his bed, either. He’ll want his space, his privacy. I won’t be invited to hear his deep before-bed musings, I won’t be privy to his raw vulnerability before slipping away to dream.

    So for as long as he’ll have me, I’ll lay down in that familiar space. I’ll stroke his hair and stare at his eyelashes, feeling his steady breaths in and out and in and out. I’ll feel that same calmness that I felt when his tiny head settled on my shoulder, breathing deeply into my skin. Tonight I’ll be needed in the most basic of ways, and I’ll show up.

    I know what the experts say and I hear the fear-based “should’s” from all corners, but in our corner — our darkened space, just him and I — it feels like anything but a failure. In fact, it feels like pure love.
    This made me tear up.

  8. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Olive Oil View Post
    This made me tear up.
    I know me too! They grow up so quick

  9. #36
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    Every night one or both of us lays down with DS, I specifically bought a double bed when he was finished with the cot for this purpose!
    We read 3 books, toilet, cuddle in bed, then say goodnight and leave 9/10 he falls asleep on his own, every now and then I'll be a "muuummmmyyy' and I go in and snuggle him until he is asleep if DH goes in the second call I have to go and wake him up after an hour or so because he always falls asleep!

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  11. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    This is me. After long and stressful days I just want it all to be over and sit down for the night.

    On the last point, OP are you sure he meant your DS would feel disempowered, could he have meant that he feels disempowered by having the same nightly routine?
    He definitely meant my ds...but I think I have a clearer idea of what's happening now

  12. #38
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    I still lay with my 5yo when he goes to bed for 5-10mins...I also briefly lay with my 10yo every night. My 13yo DD regularly asks me to lay with her at bedtime...usually when she wants to chat about something. I love that she still asks and feel it is a very valuable time for us.

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  14. #39
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    Default Do you....?

    I don't 'just' lie down with DS1 (4 years) at bedtime. Well not really. We get our cuddles/wrestles before bed when we are having showers/getting in pj's etc. Book might go for 5 minutes then I spend 2 minutes telling my DS I love him, what I am proud of him for that day, what's on the schedule for tomorrow. Then lights out.

    My ds1 likes routine and it only takes 1-2 times of doing something before he expects that every time. If my hubby started laying down with ds2 for 15 minutes once lights were out I wouldn't be too impressed. It would mean DS going to sleep later (when working we're already cutting bedtime fine). It could start impacting ds1's ability to fall asleep on his own. It would mean we would be behind in chores (prepping out own dinner/lunches for the next day/ironing/tidying/paying bills etc). Being a full time working parent we just can't afford to have 15 minutes of staticness each night. And if hubby does it once or twice then it will be a week or so of tantrums for me to undo those expectations.

    Hubby hasn't done this in particular however he had made other 'minor/innocent' changes to our schedule which have ****ed me off as they just create more work for everyone in the long run.
    Last edited by VicPark; 14-09-2016 at 06:56.

  15. #40
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    We lie in bed with our DS1 (5 years old) to read books. I like a cuddle after but he is pretty quick to say ok mum get out of my bed now! . Has always been Mr Independent....


 

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