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  1. #11
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    Ds3 has transitioned to a big bed and one of us will lay with him for a little while. Have done this breifly with all 3 as they went into a big bed. It's a nice time to have s cuddle, chat having that 1 on 1 time.

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    I always sit on the ground next to DDs bed every night. We read books I fill her head with nice things to dream about, sing her a song, hugs and kisses and goodnight.

    I personally don't mind doing it, however she gets upset if I mess up the order or miss part of the routines or if DH wants to put her to bed.

    For me she is too reliant on a very strict routine and gets far too upset if I tell her daddy wants to put her to bed.

    My DH also thinks she should be putting herself to bed, as in come to us of her own accord, tell is she is going to bed and we kiss and hug her goodnight and she goes to bed.

    I think that's too much to ask, she's only 4.5.

    So I don't agree with your DH about it being disempowering, but perhaps he thinks it's a bit too much to spend so much time with him before bed.

  3. #13
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    Yes every night they both (3 & 5) fall asleep with mum lying in bed next to them. It's my favourite part of the day actually. All sleepy and snuggles and then... the silence. Bliss.

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  5. #14
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    Default Do you....?

    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    I always sit on the ground next to DDs bed every night. We read books I fill her head with nice things to dream about, sing her a song, hugs and kisses and goodnight.

    I personally don't mind doing it, however she gets upset if I mess up the order or miss part of the routines or if DH wants to put her to bed.

    For me she is too reliant on a very strict routine and gets far too upset if I tell her daddy wants to put her to bed.

    My DH also thinks she should be putting herself to bed, as in come to us of her own accord, tell is she is going to bed and we kiss and hug her goodnight and she goes to bed.

    I think that's too much to ask, she's only 4.5.

    So I don't agree with your DH about it being disempowering, but perhaps he thinks it's a bit too much to spend so much time with him before bed.
    @A-Squared My dd1 is EXACTLY the same. She has the same routine, same order of things every night and gets very upset if you skip something or don't do it in the right order. Right down to how you say goodnight when you shut the door. You must say exactly "sweet dreams, I'll see you in the morning when the sun comes up, I love you, goodnight" and then blow a kiss.
    She also always wants me to do it (though I insist on dh when I need a break). Dh is worried about how obsessed she is with the routine. I'm not overly bothered. I think it's normal for preschoolers to crave consistency and order.

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    Default Do you....?

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Miss Sunshine View Post
    @A-Squared My dd1 is EXACTLY the same. She has the same routine, same order of things every night and gets very upset if you skip something or don't do it in the right order. Right down to how you say goodnight when you shut the door. You must say exactly "sweet dreams, I'll see you in the morning when the sun comes up, I love you, goodnight" and then blow a kiss.
    She also always wants me to do it (though I insist on dh when I need a break). Dh is worried about how obsessed she is with the routine. I'm not overly bothered. I think it's normal for preschoolers to crave consistency and order.
    I swear your husband and my husband must be twins separated at birth and our families are doubles living in different states! Haha

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  8. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    I always sit on the ground next to DDs bed every night. We read books I fill her head with nice things to dream about, sing her a song, hugs and kisses and goodnight.

    I personally don't mind doing it, however she gets upset if I mess up the order or miss part of the routines or if DH wants to put her to bed.

    For me she is too reliant on a very strict routine and gets far too upset if I tell her daddy wants to put her to bed.

    My DH also thinks she should be putting herself to bed, as in come to us of her own accord, tell is she is going to bed and we kiss and hug her goodnight and she goes to bed.

    I think that's too much to ask, she's only 4.5.

    So I don't agree with your DH about it being disempowering, but perhaps he thinks it's a bit too much to spend so much time with him before bed.
    My dh also sits with my ds before bed too. He goes first, I go second. It's the lying down next to ds that he objects to.

    With your dd though. Mine go through phases with being militant about their routines and rituals. I see it the same way you do though. It's their way of managing their feelings and at 4.5 that seems totally adaptive to me.

  9. #17
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    DS is still in a cot. (I know, I know, but until FOB secures all of my heavy furniture to the wall like he's been promising for two years that's how it will be.)

    He very rarely goes to sleep alone. I sleep in his room most of the time. I lie on my bed in there for anywhere between 10 minutes and 2.5 hours 😳

    Some nights (well, most to be honest), it frustrates me to lost precious evening time, but it's important to him that I'm near, and it won't be forever. Often he will climb out of bed for an extra cuddle or a story and I figure that's his way of letting me know he needs more attention/affection.

    I find the notion that giving a child attention/something they value is disempowering hard to understand, to be honest...

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  11. #18
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    Always, every night, we still co sleep - he's 6 years old.

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    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    DS is still in a cot. (I know, I know, but until FOB secures all of my heavy furniture to the wall like he's been promising for two years that's how it will be.)

    He very rarely goes to sleep alone. I sleep in his room most of the time. I lie on my bed in there for anywhere between 10 minutes and 2.5 hours 😳

    Some nights (well, most to be honest), it frustrates me to lost precious evening time, but it's important to him that I'm near, and it won't be forever. Often he will climb out of bed for an extra cuddle or a story and I figure that's his way of letting me know he needs more attention/affection.

    I find the notion that giving a child attention/something they value is disempowering hard to understand, to be honest...
    My ds was well beyond 3 when we transferred him to a bed. He still fit in his cot, he was happy with it and so was he

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    If your 4yo son feels comforted by having his mum lying next to him in bed, continue doing it l reckon. He is only a little boy. If your partner has an issue with it, that's his problem.

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