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  1. #1
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    Default Do you....?

    Do you ever lie down for 10-15 minutes or so with your little one when you put them to bed?

    Since my now 4yo has gone into a big boy bed I have started to lie down in his bed with him to sing him some songs. I do this because I'm tired and standing up hurts my feet plus he he has a loft bed and I couldn't see him if I sit on a chair.

    It seems like my partner has a problem with me doing this. He feels that it's disempowering. I don't really understand this because I don't lie in my ds's bed until he goes to sleep. I leave while he is awake...and, my ds seems to think it's really fun for me to lie there for a little while.

    Maybe I'm not thinking about this very clearly.

    Anyone else have any insights on this?

  2. #2
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    Disempowering for your DS?

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    Albert01  (13-09-2016)

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    I can't see why it's a problem?! I lie with my youngest for about half an hour each night reading books so I don't see how singing is any different to that? It's quality bonding time if you guys enjoy it and he's sleeping, then there can't be anything wrong with it

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    Albert01  (13-09-2016)

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    always with all of my kids. Until they're about 6. It's our special time at the end of the day.

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  8. #5
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    I lie down with my DD in her bed most nights and every morning and afternoon when she wakes up. The cuddles are my favourite part of her moving to a 'big girl bed'! She doesn't fall asleep with me there, we just cuddle and chat I don't see why it's a problem as long as your DS is happy for you to do it? Kids are only little once

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    Albert01  (13-09-2016)

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    Always - we both used to do it when he was younger and now we take turns, we talk about our day, do his home readers and read other books, I'll cry the day he doesn't want us to do it !

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    Albert01  (13-09-2016)

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    Default Do you....?

    I've always been strict on bedtime and self settling but even that involves getting into dd1's bed to read 3 books and sing and snuggle. I thought that's what everyone did when their kids were young?
    It's lovely.
    Does your dh also expect your ds to tuck himself in?
    Sorry I just find his feelings on this quite odd, and far too tough.
    Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 13-09-2016 at 16:14.

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    Albert01  (13-09-2016),Renn  (13-09-2016),Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (14-09-2016),turquoisecoast  (13-09-2016)

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    DS2 has not ever fallen asleep alone he'll be 4 next month. DS1 didn't go to sleep alone until he 7-8. I really don't see the issue and think it's such a lovely moment that will be gone before you know it!

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    Omg...thank you for responding. It's been doing my head in.

    I think the issue of a child feeling disempowered by their Mother's closeness is a direct link back to my dh's own experiences with his Mother.

    I just needed to seek some clarity around whether or not what feels normal and reasonable for me also feels normal and reasonable for many others.
    Last edited by Albert01; 13-09-2016 at 16:35.

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    binnielici  (13-09-2016)

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    If the child didn't want it (my 2nd prefers we lie or sit on the floor than lie in her bed) I'd never force it. And if I'm honest when I'm busy or DH is away I do find it annoying but in the scheme of life I love it.

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