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  1. #51
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    Default WDYT - Pregnant women who stop smoking offered gift vouchers

    If you're made to feel like a piece of ****, you start believing you are a piece of ****. So you may as well just keep smoking like the filthy uncaring mother-to-be that you are.

    Because it's just that easy, and you are finding it hard, so there is no help for you.

    That's why shaming doesn't work.

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  3. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by ShannyAnny View Post
    I think this article has been written in such a way as to spark some controversy and discussion. The $50 is an incentive to agree to participate in the research rather than to quit smoking. Many women will (try to) quit smoking when pregnant but they may not wish to do this as part of a research program. The $50 may be enough to encourage them to participate in the research given they are trying to quit anyway for the health of the baby. I'm not sure that anywhere in the article does it say they only get the money if they quit. I think the story has been twisted on purpose and is really just another example of poor and potentially unethical journalism.
    I completely agree. It has taken the focus off the fact that the study is aiming to help pregnant women in particular, to quit smoking, as a lot of programs cannot be undertaken by pregnant women.

    I also agree that it isn't as easy as just deciding to quit, and quitting. For some people it may be that easy. They can count themselves lucky. For most people it isn't that easy at all. My mum and her husband had hypnotherapy. While mum said she doesn't even think of it any more, her husband does, and sometimes still feels an urge, even after many years. My father in law used champix to great success. My mother in law has quit smoking cold turkey half a dozen times in the last 3 years - once was even for 3 weeks, well past the point where the nicotine would have been an issue - and is still smoking. My dad has tried everything, and is still smoking. He still felt the need to smoke even after 4 weeks unconscious in the ICU. I suspect for my dad and mother in law, smoking is far more than a physical addiction. For my dad, as @pointless1 pointed out, he's probably got other factors to do with his MI impacting, and he also tends to smoke more frequently when his pain has been bad.

    It's all very well to say just stop, it's that easy, I did. But, every person is different, has different histories and factors impacting on them. No one technique is going to work for everyone. Let's just be glad that there are people who want to help pregnant women quit, and actually provide some practical assistance to do so, instead of just criticising them when they can't just do it by themselves.

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  5. #53
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    I just wanted to add I had fallen into the trap of believing it would be easier to quit when I was pregnant.
    I had tried (once made 3 years) previously to quit, but wasn't too concerned as I figured I'd just stop when I fell pregnant.
    Then I discovered it actually wasn't that easy after all. But you know, it's a choice and with the health of your unborn baby at risk.....

    I NEVER EVER thought I would be a pregnant smoker.
    I'm intelligent, employed, middle class.
    Only filthy bogans smoke when pregnant, right?

    I shouldn't of ventured into this thread, the guilt and shame I feel is enough without others adding to it.

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    gingermillie  (12-09-2016),ICanDream  (12-09-2016),TheGooch  (12-09-2016)

  7. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Miss Sunshine View Post
    I just wanted to add I had fallen into the trap of believing it would be easier to quit when I was pregnant.
    I had tried (once made 3 years) previously to quit, but wasn't too concerned as I figured I'd just stop when I fell pregnant.
    Then I discovered it actually wasn't that easy after all. But you know, it's a choice and with the health of your unborn baby at risk.....

    I NEVER EVER thought I would be a pregnant smoker.
    I'm intelligent, employed, middle class.
    Only filthy bogans smoke when pregnant, right?

    I shouldn't of ventured into this thread, the guilt and shame I feel is enough without others adding to it.
    I get you. It is somewhat easy to quit only if every part of you, consciously and subconsciously, is ready to quit. Otherwise it is damn near impossible. That's why nobody can make you quit, incentive or otherwise. It's the reason I don't pester my husband to quit. There's really no point.

  8. #55
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    I think if they're signing up to be part of the program/study part of them may want to stop already. I smoked up until the day I decided to TTC, it was and still is bloody hard at times, particularly when you see those bfn's. Any support that can be given to these women is positive and it creates conversations like this. They shouldn't be shamed, they should be supported. Nobody will quit if the feel attacked or like they aren't good mothers for smoking.

  9. #56
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    I think the key to remember here is that this is just a trial and is one small part of a bigger research initiative. They're looking at ways of trying to help mothers stop smoking, and this is one experiment. Its a case of 'we've tried various things, let try this one and see if its effective'. If its successful, then awesome. If its not, then they'll try something else. They haven't locked on to this as the perfect solution.

    I think its great that they're getting creative with strategies and trying to move away from the punitive models. This particular strategy is just part of a bigger picture and I applaud them for trying to make a difference.

  10. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Miss Sunshine View Post
    I just wanted to add I had fallen into the trap of believing it would be easier to quit when I was pregnant.
    I had tried (once made 3 years) previously to quit, but wasn't too concerned as I figured I'd just stop when I fell pregnant.
    Then I discovered it actually wasn't that easy after all. But you know, it's a choice and with the health of your unborn baby at risk.....

    I NEVER EVER thought I would be a pregnant smoker.
    I'm intelligent, employed, middle class.
    Only filthy bogans smoke when pregnant, right?

    I shouldn't of ventured into this thread, the guilt and shame I feel is enough without others adding to it.
    Big hugs @Little Miss Sunshine, I have recently quit smoking and I did find it easy. This time. I've been trying to quit for years and failed everytime! I smoked whilst pregnant because like u said I thought it would be easy to quit when I was. I hated myself everytime I had one.

    You are a fabulous woman and an amazing mother! Please don't let certain people make you think otherwise X

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  12. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ahalfdozen View Post
    I was a smoker, but I was never really addicted as such. It was a habit thing. I had one cigarette left in my packet when I took my pregnancy test. When it turned up positive, I decided I would smoke that one last cigarette (as a closure things I guess) and that would be that. And it was. 7 years later, and I don't think about them at all. It wasn't even "hard" for me to quit and I hang out with smokers all the time. Caffeine on the other hand, I get addicted to so easily. And despite knowing how hard withdrawal is for me to go through, I still get tempted. Made even harder by my shift working husband filling out drinks fridge with energy drinks. So I do get addiction, and it's really hard.

    I don't think a $50 incentive alone is going to cut it. I think support will do wonders and if that $50 helps with the support aspect, then I have no issue. My mother was a heavy smoker long before I came along and smoked all through my pregnancy (my father did quit when she fell pregnant though). She has been given ultimatums by different people which never worked. She was given an unlimited fuel card by her boss as incentive, so she lied about it and started smelling horrifically of Pulse body spray and those Listerine tabs you put on your tongue. She has been offered stop-smoking aids, hypnotherapy sessions, money etc. I blew up at her once (after countless civil chats) because she would insist on picking my baby up, while smoking. Her father died from cancer, smoking related. Nothing worked and I'm sure she will be smoking long after she is dead and buried. Unfortunately, that's just how it is for some people and no amount of support or incentives will work. My mother just simply doesn't believe that smoking is harmful. She insists its a conspiracy against her (she is hideously narcissistic) and that they are fine, so she just has no desire to quit.
    My mum is exactly the same. My
    Mum had this vision of retiring and looking after my kids for me so I could work. She adores kids. And I always agreed for 10+ years.

    But in practice her smoking habit makes it impossible. She smokes 50 odd fags a day. She gets terribly cranky if she needs one while she's with the kids and can't get away. I've caught her smoking so many bloody times around DS that I sent him to childcare 3/4 days (she has him Friday's). I begged her not to smoke around him. I come home with smoke in my house which blows inside she reckons. She reckons the wind blows smoke away so as long as they're outside DS is fine. She thinks the 'smell' of smoke isn't harmful and I'm the confused/incorrect one.

    I don't understand it. I just think she should give up. But I actually found this post really interesting to understand how powerful the addiction is. I truly believe these ladies when they say they wanted to give up for their babies. And if there was a time to make it easy, it should be pregnancy. But it's obviously so bloody hard. No pleading is going to work with my mum. We were planning a smoking intervention. She can never give up work as the pension won't cover her smoking habit of $200 plus a week.

    Thanks for the honestly ladies you've opened my eyes a little to how hard it must be.

  13. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by WinterJade View Post
    My mum is exactly the same. My
    Mum had this vision of retiring and looking after my kids for me so I could work. She adores kids. And I always agreed for 10+ years.

    But in practice her smoking habit makes it impossible. She smokes 50 odd fags a day. She gets terribly cranky if she needs one while she's with the kids and can't get away. I've caught her smoking so many bloody times around DS that I sent him to childcare 3/4 days (she has him Friday's). I begged her not to smoke around him. I come home with smoke in my house which blows inside she reckons. She reckons the wind blows smoke away so as long as they're outside DS is fine. She thinks the 'smell' of smoke isn't harmful and I'm the confused/incorrect one.

    I don't understand it. I just think she should give up. But I actually found this post really interesting to understand how powerful the addiction is. I truly believe these ladies when they say they wanted to give up for their babies. And if there was a time to make it easy, it should be pregnancy. But it's obviously so bloody hard. No pleading is going to work with my mum. We were planning a smoking intervention. She can never give up work as the pension won't cover her smoking habit of $200 plus a week.

    Thanks for the honestly ladies you've opened my eyes a little to how hard it must be.
    It is so so hard for people like that who have smoked for so long. It becomes an extension of who they are. My dad is 65 and smoked for close to 50 years 30+ cigarettes a day. Late last year he was admitted to hospital for a week with a nasty infection in his knee and had three surgeries in a week. He told us he wasn't smoking then the dr asked him in front of me and he admitted he had been outside smoking but not much. So I thought after a week of hardly smoking it might help him stop but the first thing he did on his way home was stop for cigarettes
    My DD was only 3 months old at this stage and we had told dad that he couldn't hold her if he'd been smoking without changing clothes, washing hands. She was premature and we didn't want to risk anything with her health plus mum went to a sids workshop with us where they explained how babies nuzzle into your clothes and breathe in the smoke.
    As my DD grew and became more irresistible he did just stop one day when she was 4-5 months old and has not had a cigarette since(she's 14.5 months now). So for him close contact time with his only grandchild was enough incentive to finally get him over the line. He had attempted quitting so many times over the years. It's been so so hard for him and we are so proud of him for doing this. And so grateful as we don't need to worry about secondhand smoke with him.
    Having said all that your mum is really disrespecting you and putting your son's health in jeopardy smoking inside your house. It's ok that she doesn't want to quit but it's not ok to smoke directly around your son. If you've asked her and she still won't change then weigh up whether you want her to care for him at all or whether daycare might be a better option that day.

  14. #60
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    Lms I think you rock and good on you for pushing through the challenges you face.

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