If I was the OP, it wouldn't so much be that he was refusing the vas, although I admit I'd be annoyed considering the difference between the two procedures and the fact I had carried and birthed our kids. It would be the refusal to pin down *why* he wouldn't (which I think the OP deserves) and the fact he is pulling all the strings i.e. refuses to get a 10 min procedure, knowing the OP's issues but is also controlling firmly not wanting more kids. It all just smacks of immaturity and control issues to me.
When I was pg with number 3 and we decided he was our last, my DH said, "well you've carried 3 of my children with 3 c/s. You've had ops to get pregnant, you've been through enough. I'll deal with it." And off he went and had it done. He whined he was sore (you know men lol) but he never once went on about the decision or losing his mojo.
I'm with VP on this one