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  1. #1
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    Default Up at 3am to start the day, please help

    Hi all

    I am in real need of some help/guidance/advice please
    DD is 21 mths old. Excellent sleeper until a hospital stay at 10mths but back in a routine from Feb this year. Goes down about 7-745pm (after a very short protest cry) and generally sleeps until about 6-630am. Has a midday nap of normally 1.5 hours

    Has had various coughs/colds etc over the past 3-4 weeks so has been waking up at night coughing and on the nights when she wouldn't/couldn't go back to sleep when she was sick we would give panadol, cuddle/pat/sit with her, to be honest whatever worked to get her back to sleep. One night we resorted to driving around at 2am. It seemed to be she'd sleep well one night then wake up the following night.

    But, she is now better and waking up every night, any time from 2am onwards and will not go back to sleep. Sat and Sunday am were both 3am and this morning was 4am. Nothing is working. She is not cold, wet or hungry, she just wakes up and bang, is ready for the day to begin. Clearly she's not as she's only had 6-8 hours sleep. We've tried everything. I am not wanting to start giving her milk as I believe that will just reinforce her waking up and I'm not giving her medication to make her sleep when there is nothing wrong with her. I don't want to cuddle/pat her to sleep as thats not really solving the problem. We've tried calming her and walking out, sitting there, playing her music that she normally has on when she goes to bed (this makes her cry more as she knows we're trying to get her to sleep). As a last resort I have even tried lying with her but as soon as we leave the room she cracks it. We have even left her to cry a bit (with reassurance) but she just gets more and more upset. I am not against CC or CIO (and did have to use a form of CC to get her back to sleeping and self settling) but we are just at our wits end. I am averaging about 4 hours sleep a night and am six mths pregnant, I am constantly sick and run down and its making me extremely sad because I know she needs to sleep.

    How can I help her get back to sleep? She can self settle as she does it at daycare (3 x wk) and also every night, we never put her down asleep.

    Do we just let her cry for longer and see what happens? I am desperate. We've been told to try phernegan (?) to break the habit but I don't know much about it and not sure how this sits with me. I did text her paed this am but thought would ask for some guidance on here.

    Thanks so much

    Any help would be so gratefully received.

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    How long did you let her cry? When I night weaned my DD at 12 months I went in after letting her cry a couple of minutes the first time, then stretched it out. The longest she actually cried on the first night was 5 minutes. Though of course it feels longer. I'd recommend actually using a watch/clock because it honestly feels so much longer if you're not watching the time.
    When I went in to her I would pick her up, very quick cuddle then walk out again. It took three nights and I treated each waking between 9pm and 6am the same.
    She had gone from cosleeping and breastfeeding all throughout the night, to sleeping solidly all night in her own cot without waking, in only 3 nights. She is nearly 5 now and has never relapsed either, aside from briefly waking if she's unwell, but no matter what she is always able to get back to sleep, and it's rare for her to wake before 7am.

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    3am is painful. I remember around that age DS went through a phase of 4am wakeups.

    Have you tried slightly earlier bedtime?

    It could just be a phase like I mentioned with DS but 3am is painful.

    I used to get up, put the tv on and snooze on the couch.

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    Molros  (05-09-2016)

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    Did it stop eventually?!

    Quote Originally Posted by twinklify View Post
    3am is painful. I remember around that age DS went through a phase of 4am wakeups.

    Have you tried slightly earlier bedtime?

    It could just be a phase like I mentioned with DS but 3am is painful.

    I used to get up, put the tv on and snooze on the couch.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hollywood View Post
    How long did you let her cry? When I night weaned my DD at 12 months I went in after letting her cry a couple of minutes the first time, then stretched it out. The longest she actually cried on the first night was 5 minutes. Though of course it feels longer. I'd recommend actually using a watch/clock because it honestly feels so much longer if you're not watching the time.
    When I went in to her I would pick her up, very quick cuddle then walk out again. It took three nights and I treated each waking between 9pm and 6am the same.
    She had gone from cosleeping and breastfeeding all throughout the night, to sleeping solidly all night in her own cot without waking, in only 3 nights. She is nearly 5 now and has never relapsed either, aside from briefly waking if she's unwell, but no matter what she is always able to get back to sleep, and it's rare for her to wake before 7am.
    It would have been no less than five mins, sometimes longer....I agree it feels like an age! We did this to get her self settling initially, maybe I should take a step back and redo it when she wakes. Do you think it could work in the middle of the night as well? So I go in, pick her up until she stops crying, then lie her down and walk out. and repeat every 5 mins or would you the extend to 7 mins, 9 mins and so on? We are awake anyway so I don't have an issue with timing it and going in and out. I know she's going to scream as soon as I lie her down and walk out though, but I'll be going back in after 5 minutes.

    Thank you. I just went and bought some Bauer natural sleep stuff for kids so will try that as well.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Molros View Post
    Did it stop eventually?!
    Yeah. It was maybe a few weeks at most.
    @VicPark might have ideas on how to use some training to get them back to bed though.

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    Quote Originally Posted by twinklify View Post
    3am is painful. I remember around that age DS went through a phase of 4am wakeups.

    Have you tried slightly earlier bedtime?

    It could just be a phase like I mentioned with DS but 3am is painful.

    I used to get up, put the tv on and snooze on the couch.
    I might try 7am tonight, thank you
    The chemist suggested dropping her day sleep but I think that's just going to make her overtired

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    I agree take it back to a 7pm bedtime, and not dropping the day sleep. Add some socks or extra blanket just in case of cold or growing pains type complaints.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Molros View Post
    It would have been no less than five mins, sometimes longer....I agree it feels like an age! We did this to get her self settling initially, maybe I should take a step back and redo it when she wakes. Do you think it could work in the middle of the night as well? So I go in, pick her up until she stops crying, then lie her down and walk out. and repeat every 5 mins or would you the extend to 7 mins, 9 mins and so on? We are awake anyway so I don't have an issue with timing it and going in and out. I know she's going to scream as soon as I lie her down and walk out though, but I'll be going back in after 5 minutes.

    Thank you. I just went and bought some Bauer natural sleep stuff for kids so will try that as well.
    Yep, same drill in the night, as many times as it takes. The payoff is so good that it's worth a few rough nights. Anyway, that's what I did, take from it what you think might work

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    Default Up at 3am to start the day, please help

    My only suggestion is a Gro Clock. My DD was doing exactly the same and we were all exhausted. She would wake in the night with no idea of night/day as her room is very dark. We got her a Gro Clock at 22 months and made a big deal of showing her the star for night, and excitedly showed her the sun in the morning. We would praise her and cheer her for waiting for the sun to come up on her clock. I have watched her on the monitor at night wake up, stand up to look at her clock, realise that the star is still on, and flop back down. At this age they are old enough to learn simple concepts re day/night and sleep/wake up time.

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