@ange1111 u just said out loud what everyone is or has gone through.
We all had our disgusting moments, we just call them differently: for me, it's my wave of despair, for Billie, the poo Creek lol.
My DP calls it my Dark Passenger (too much Dexter!)
But really it's all the same: you feel alone in this terrible unfairness, terrorised that it will never work for you.
Trust me, I know the feeling, and I'm pretty sure everyone on this thread without exception does too.
Try to look at the positives: Charlotte next week is a great positive! She'll help you analyse the situation and define a clear and smart strategy.
I'm seeing her on Dec and cannot wait! You get to see her next week and I'm sure it will make you feel better.
That's something to look fwd to.
Hope the psychology sessions tmrw help you too. Good on you for taking actions!
Don't forget that you're not alone and that we all get it here.
Hang in there xxx