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  1. #431
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    Quote Originally Posted by LillyM View Post
    Wow heavy topics hey... Suicide thoughts because of IVF... How sad. I can see why though. It really easy to make it become the centre of our whole universe and nothing else matters. I think that being aware of it is a first step in the right direction.
    I used to get overwhelming breakdowns whenever I had a failed cycle, the dark wave I call it. Sooo bad. Totally out of control.
    And then I decided that I didn't want the Ivf do that to me on the top of everything else. And for my 2 last cycles I managed to keep it at bay. I mean of course I was terribly sad but I didnt allow myself to get in that state of total despair which made me feel stronger and more in control.

    This is really personal of course.

    This ruminating concept sounds really interesting too. Pretty sure we all do it.

    Glad for you that your session was good.
    As per the determined part of you, I'd say it doesn't take a psych to see it!

    For sure he goes over everything hun including what you wrote above RE depression or feelings of despair after losses or failed IVF.

    It's good to see you back here @LillyM do you want to come into the 'safe house' too. Just sing out to me or @Charlie74 for the password it's a great little thread too.

    You are just as determined as me hun and I really admire that you are able to stay so strong after a BFN. I'm better at it now too but I understand what you mean when you say you get sad but you try not to let it consume you. And that is absolutely a massive achievement right there

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  3. #432
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    Default IVF over 40#39

    Thanks for the kind words @Maxwellsmum.

    In btwn cycles, I usually tend to stay more away from the threads and all that's related to Ivf just because I need to breathe and regroup before the next cycle.
    I need to feel "normal" for a lil while.. Ah! Normal. What a joke.


    Nek minnit I'm still here coz I got attached to this group.
    I'm not always writing, and the thread is moving so fast! But I'm reading and I'm still here.


    Sure I'd like access to the Safe House, just not sure how I'll keep up with 3 threads at the same time ahahah!

    Thx for offering
    Xx

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  5. #433
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    Happy birthday @BlondeinBrisvegas have an awesome day.
    Thanks all you lovelies for your support. I had my EPU this morning and ) eggs were retrieved. I was disappointed as I was expecting more (last cycle I had 11 retrieved with a lower dose of Gonal f, and only 2 survived till day 5). I'm hoping they all fertilise this time and reach day 5 for testing, fingers crossed!
    This EPU was much more painful that last one, I woke up crying eight pain and got given morphine 5 times plus panadol and I was fine then. Off to sleep now.

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  7. #434
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    @Mongol nighty night mate, sleep tight and praying your eggies all fertilise overnight xox

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  9. #435
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    @Maxwellsmum i can relate to that so such. I havent done the contrmplating killing myself (coz who would feed the cats?) But i did have 2 weeks where i woke up disappointed that i was still alive, i.e. wished i would die on my sleep or get hit by a bus or contract some horrible disease that would make ivf pale in comparison. So...not good thoughts and very scary. Worst thing was i thought i would stay like that forever. Like you, that failed cycle also coincided with other terrible life stuff like my pet chickens being torn to shreds by a dog. When i think back on that 2 weeks of doom n gloom in the pit of despair, its the chickens that still makes me tear up moreso than the end of searching for my own eggs. So, i think when you2doing ivf it makes it very very difficult to deal with any other bad stuff that happens. xox im really glad that your super application is progressing though. Damn i wish i had have gotten on board for that in time for this oseas cycle. I wonder if they'll back date it, like, give you the money after youve paid for the cycle. Imnpaying for it with a loan so surely that proves im broke?

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  11. #436
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    Happy birthday @BlondeinBrisvegas! Hopefully you're having a great day with DD and family and friends, cakes, and a massage.

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  13. #437
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    @Mongol congrats on EPU and fingers crossed for a great fert rate. I hope you've had a good sleep and your pain has subsided and they've given you something for when you go home if it re-emerges.

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  15. #438
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    Quote Originally Posted by gorgeousgeorge View Post
    @Maxwellsmum i can relate to that so such. I havent done the contrmplating killing myself (coz who would feed the cats?) But i did have 2 weeks where i woke up disappointed that i was still alive, i.e. wished i would die on my sleep or get hit by a bus or contract some horrible disease that would make ivf pale in comparison. So...not good thoughts and very scary. Worst thing was i thought i would stay like that forever. Like you, that failed cycle also coincided with other terrible life stuff like my pet chickens being torn to shreds by a dog. When i think back on that 2 weeks of doom n gloom in the pit of despair, its the chickens that still makes me tear up moreso than the end of searching for my own eggs. So, i think when you2doing ivf it makes it very very difficult to deal with any other bad stuff that happens. xox im really glad that your super application is progressing though. Damn i wish i had have gotten on board for that in time for this oseas cycle. I wonder if they'll back date it, like, give you the money after youve paid for the cycle. Imnpaying for it with a loan so surely that proves im broke?

    In essence they do. The ivf clinics do up a quote to say Georgeous George is doing 1 x STIM cycle at a cost of $12000 ect. I'm not sure how overseas works I imagine you would need to get cape town to do you a quote. @Casaredust will know.

    GG one of the questions he asked me was if I have thoughts of dying ect. I don't at all but like you I had a really bad couple if weeks when my Nanna passed it was 2 days after my BFN and my DH got a warning at work and they stood him down for 1 week after he had an argument with his supervisor and I got mastitis so my hormones were totally shot. It was such an awful time but yes like you with your chickens it was definately my Nanna passing that crushed me. I think your right though it's not so much the IVF it's just that we are only human and we can only bear do much at one time. I would be crushed too if my pets got hurt. I used to own silky chickens and my rooster was (I think) killed by a venomous snake. I was so upset. I couldn't stand it if any of my pets got hurt thst way. It would be heart breaking. X

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  17. #439
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    @BlondeinBrisvegas I knew it! I knew you were special. Happy Birthday to you and Mary mother of Jesus! Or are you one and the same? I think Mary did IVF.. She conceived without sex. Wonder what clinic she went to..

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  19. #440
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    I have just received info from supercare and only scanned over it so far but I can't believe it is $980 for completing paperwork? Has anyone tried to get an early payout for their super and done it online by themselves? Is it hard to get approved if you do it yourself?

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