Hey ladies.. So I've been away for a couple of days and just been doing a big catch up on here. DH is looking at me like I've gone mental as I've gone from crying through to bursting out in laughter several times. @Sue77 I'm in awe of your strength - I really hope this is the beginning of all of your happy endings. @gorgeousgeorge and everyone else worded it so beautifully, and it really is such a personal journey and decision. For me, (although it's scary) it's about completing my family - IVF has been traumatic and heartbreaking and time is not on my side at my age. A couple of months ago I reached rock bottom after cycle 3 failed almost exactly a year after an ectopic miscarriage. I found myself in a restaurant with friends, one of whom innocently asked if we were going to have any more kids, when I burst into tears at the table.
That was my 'enough is enough' moment.
I have zero doubt that I will hold my gurgling little DE bubba in my arms and feel like their Mama. And I'm sure when they are having a toddler tantrum I will love them just as much. It's taken me a bit to let go of the attachment to my own DNA thing - but really, what does it matter? My son was conceived naturally and he's nothing like me - he constantly surprises me with his individuality and funny little ways. I feel confident that if our DE baby dream comes true, that this one will surprise us just as much.
Thank you so much to everyone on here for all of your beautiful, honest posts. You are all just bloody amazing. xx