@Sue77 be kind to yourself. There is no right or wrong feelings at a time like this. You are grieving so many things, the loss of those years, those precious embies, the thought of carrying the baby yourself. But just remember, this will be your baby. It doesn't matter if she comes from your dna or if you carried her/him.
They will look at you and see mum. You will be their world and they will love you.
Once you step away from IVF you will feel so much better, and once you have the baby in your arms all these thoughts will vanish.
Take the time to mourn, then look forward to your future as a mum if a very much wanted and loved child.
Congrats on the donor being available, is the surrogate ready too? I really hope this is it for you. After all the pain and heartache you deserve happiness xx