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  1. #11
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    I don't think I can add much more than the others have said about kids being kids. And I agree you handled it really well.

    On the minecraft games etc, the rating on Minecraft is 8+ so whilst I don't think the two are necessarily related, I would personally stick to age appropriate games.

  2. #12
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    Default Something my son did :-(

    Good onyou for being observant and addressing it right there and then. My child of the same age being mean to others (mainly his brother) is something I don't tolerate at all. At 4-5 kids sense of right and wrong are forming and it's critical to steer them in the right direction with regards to treating others.

    Besides speaking to my child I would have made him apologise to the 2.5 year old. I would have told the 2.5 year olds parents that I just saw 2 kids kick their child (including my child who had apologised) so they might want to keep a closer eye on the child incase the other 5 year old came back. I would have removed my child and taken then home right then. Zero tolerance for kicking and hitting.

    I would go through the rules with my child at home and let him know what the consequence of violence was - probably no I phone. Or TV. I would take the opportunity to comment if I saw someone (TV, real life) being mean to other person (as a learning tool for my child). I would also go overboard with praise when my child was kind and gentle with others.

    I might be the odd one out however there is no way in heck I would expose my child to violent and/or scary games or shows at 4.5. Killing zombies is out (do not consider it age appropriate in any way for a 4.5 year old), peppa and Sesame Street are in.

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  4. #13
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    Default Something my son did :-(

    Just on the apologising thing. My dd1 is shy and has been "roughed up" a few times at playgrounds and the last things she wants is that same kid that hurt her to approach her again, even if it is to apologise. It just upsets her more. She's too young to truly understand the concept of someone being sorry.

    Maybe in that case it is best to remove your child, and apology from you to the parents if they are around and an stern chat to your kid. I wouldn't force an apology onto a stranger (siblings/cousins/friends I would) at that young age simply because sometimes it doesn't help things.
    Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 03-09-2016 at 16:28.

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  6. #14
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    I agree with everyone else that kids go through stages and it's not reflecting some deep character issue with your little one. But I also think removing violent games will certainly do no harm, and can only do good. So if your gut says to go back to more gentle games, go for it.

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    I know how you feel. My little boy has intentionally kicked the dog before which broke my heart. All i can add is that I have had it drilled into me as a teacher that it is fruitless asking young children why they behave in certain ways. They usually don't know and are acting on impulse and any reasoning can be seen (to them) as somewhat excusing the behaviour. Restorative chats however such as how would you feel if that happened to you can be helpful. I try to never make a child apologise unless they truly mean it but I do try to match the behaviour to the consequence. With an older child for example I would have had them spend a period of time at the play centre ensuring nobody gets hurt or picked on rather than playing.

    I think you did a great job!

  8. #16
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    Just to add to PPs comments I think all kids do things like this. DS once shoved a little girl really roughly in the head in a play centre when he was around 5 and I was devastated, and came down on him like a tonne of bricks! He's now almost 7 and the sweetest, kindest kid you will ever meet- his teacher commented on his sweet nature at parent teacher interviews recently. Point being, since that occurrence nothing like that has happened since. Kids just push boundaries every now and then.
    In terms of games, you should try setting Minecraft to Creative mode- that's all my DS is allowed to play in, and there's no zombies or violence.

  9. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    I don't think I can add much more than the others have said about kids being kids. And I agree you handled it really well.

    On the minecraft games etc, the rating on Minecraft is 8+ so whilst I don't think the two are necessarily related, I would personally stick to age appropriate games.
    This is exactly what I was going to say.

    Your child is acting like a normal child. You responded the right way.

    Not related to the incident, I would stop letting him play minecraft or any other game that involves killing or non-age appropriate things.

  10. #18
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    Kids will be kids. All of them do it at some stage. In saying that I'm not sure why you're letting your child play zombie killing games? In my opinion that is a really inappropriate game for that age group. You'd be surprised the effect those sort of games have on children.

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    I don't think it's normal behaviour for a 4.5 year old as they know right from wrong at this age. Younger perhaps but not this age! I would say it is to do with what he is watching on his ipad.

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    I think a bit of rough behaviour is quite common around children of that age, and you dealt with it well. However, I do think violent screen time doesnt help. Studies have shown quite conclusively that violent tv and 'video games' have a huge impact on children's own violent behaviour, and particularly their empathy. So they will hurt another child and not really care about the impact of their behaviour on the child. Sorry to say I cant link to any studies, as they are in child development and education journals that I've accessed at uni. But it is a topic I've studied at a tertiary level, and I personally avoid violent screen time for my own children because of this.

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