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  1. #1
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    Default Something my son did :-(

    We were at a play centre today and I noticed a girl, around 5yr pushing a young boy around 2yrs (It was in the ball pit part). I went in to see if I could help and then noticed my 4.5yr old kicking this boy! (For no reason) I asked the bigger girl if she knew the boy and she said no, he wasn't giving me the ball. She then moved away. I removed my son and spoke to him about why he kicked the younger boy and he doesn't know why.
    I'm devastated that he would do something like that!
    He plays minecraft and other crafting games on the iPad which I think might be the problem (killing zombies and stuff??)
    I have no idea.
    I'm so upset.
    I'm wondering if I should just remove all those games off the iPad and put Lego type games. Etc :-(
    Last edited by 2BlueBirds; 03-09-2016 at 15:07.

  2. #2
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    Kids were kicking, punching, hitting each other long before iPads were invented. I think it's just what they do sometimes.

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  4. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by babyno1onboard View Post
    Kids were kicking, punching, hitting each other long before iPads were invented. I think it's just what they do sometimes.
    I know. But he just turned to this young boy for no reason (saw the other girl fighting with him) and joined in.
    It was almost like he enjoyed seeing the fight and thought he would too. Especially that the poor little boy was smaller than him.
    Last edited by 2BlueBirds; 03-09-2016 at 15:08.

  5. #4
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    Wow, I'd be pretty devastated if my child did this (and they probably will) but children will be children, they mimic so much from their surroundings. It's up to the adults to correct and guide their behaviour. What was your reaction? Did you make him apologise?

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    (I've got my teacher 'hat' on right now) Children learn by doing. And when they do the wrong thing and there's a consequence you hope they can learn from it and make a better choice next time. No child is perfect and even the good ones will make the wrong choice at times.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Olive Oil View Post
    Wow, I'd be pretty devastated if my child did this (and they probably will) but children will be children, they mimic so much from their surroundings. It's up to the adults to correct and guide their behaviour. What was your reaction? Did you make him apologise?
    I was devastated and sat him down and explained how that boy felt and why it was wrong. I couldn't find him to apologise (as soon as it happened I removed my son and sat him down, I should have made him say sorry then, but I couldn't believe my eyes).

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    I think there is a bit of it in most children. It's not necessarily a malice thing. More because they haven't really developed empathy yet so if they think something is fun, they don't really think about much else. The adults in these situations are the key.

    I wouldn't be so hasty to ban games etc. I have 4 kids, each with varying levels of aggression despite being raised in the same house with the same rules. Does it mean I was a good parent to my eldest and a bad one to my youngest? No, they are just different people. Think about the wide variety of adult personalities and transfer that to kids, and then take away their impulse control. So don't jump straight away to blame yourself. It's how you deal with it that counts. If you couldn't find the boy to apologise that's okay, but as long as your son comes away knowing how wrong his behaviour was, that's about all you can ask for at the moment.

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    You've done the right thing. When you witness your son being kind/helpful to someone else, praise him (which I'm sure you do)
    Don't be hard on yourself - I'm sure you have a lovely boy

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    Unfortunately sometimes kids can be surprisingly rough to other children for no reason.

    What's important is that you reprimanded him for the behaviour and let him know what he did was not acceptable.

    My DS has shoved a couple of smaller kids at playgrounds before and I have always made him apologise and I've given him a firm talking to.

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    My DD1 (4 at the time) is sweet and gentle, wouldn't hurt a fly. DD2 age 2 will hurt a fly for looking at her the wrong way. So imagine my surprise when my 8yo niece came sobbing to me because my 2yo had beat her up because my 4yo told her to . Kids experiment with their power. As yogis mum said treat it as a learning opportunity, which you did.

    Kids copy. Kids don't think. As long as you're there to correct them they learn from it.


 

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