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  1. #1
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    Default A failing relationship

    I really just needed to vent somewhere so maybe someone would have some tips for me. I have a 9 month old baby and a partner who is multiple disabilities, high functioning autism and a brain lesion that causes him every day migraines. Last year while I was pregnant he was the best, helped as much as he could with cleaning, cooking, and was just generally very nice. Of course ever since we had the baby, he has been completely a nightmare. The house is a mess, I have to look after the baby 60-70% of the time while he sleeps or lays down, I cook more than he does now, I do all the early mornings and he just leaves dishes and can only clean around once a week when forced.

    Whenever I get annoyed at him to do something, he just gets really ****ed off and it turns into a massive fight. I know that his migraines prevent him from doing a lot which I am fine to do a lot for him, but I can't do everything. He hates criticism and yells at me for it, but I would just be happy with two things, him to wash his dish straight after and for him to put things back where he got them. We have his 12 year old sister staying with us atm and he wants her to do all the dishes but she just does not have the time so I have to. I also have to go back to work soon as I'm the money earner because he can't work. The pressure is building up, and because of his laziness and agression I have no desire for him anymore. There is no romance. I can't be his carer, work, look after a baby and also now his sister. I don't have much faith for our future, even though he does have a great personality and he is fun, but his coldness around the house is just breaking me. Does anyone else have a partner to care for? Or with Autism?

  2. #2
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    What did you plan to do with the baby when you returned to work? It sounds like you are under a lot of pressure and I feel for you. It also seems fair you expect some help. But in fairness to him, he had the migraines, multiple disabilities and ASD before you had the baby.

    I hope you can find some support.

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    Was he any help before the pregnancy?

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    What did you plan to do with the baby when you returned to work? It sounds like you are under a lot of pressure and I feel for you. It also seems fair you expect some help. But in fairness to him, he had the migraines, multiple disabilities and ASD before you had the baby.

    I hope you can find some support.
    The plan is that he looks after the baby on the weekends while I go to work. And yeah, he did but unfortunately the pregnancy was not planned so that is also why it is much harder for both of us.

  5. #5
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    We didn't live together before the pregnancy. I was getting over a break up with my ex. I'd known him for 6 years and had started seeing him 9 months prior. Soo yeah the pregnancy was not planned.


 

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