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  1. #1
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    Default Stressing partner will cheat

    I have deleted this post as it is now a non-issue to me. Thanks for the replies.
    Last edited by Happyhaps; 02-09-2016 at 16:10.

  2. #2
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    I would contact her to tell her it stops NOW or you will tell not only her boyfriend, but her father too.

    I would also insist your DH blocks her on fb.

    I don't think it was a good idea for your DH to stay with this family considering what happened before. There is obviously an attraction between them - it's playing with fire.

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    There are a lot of layers to this and I'm finding it a little hard to relate as
    I would have hung him out to dry when he was flirting with a then 15 yo underage girl.

    However, if you are going to say anything I think you need to deal with him. Not her. This young woman is still a child at the age of 17. He on the other hand is a 27 year old father-to-be and he is the one who has a direct relationship with you.
    Last edited by Spincycle; 29-08-2016 at 21:23.

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  6. #4
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    She is not legally an adult...but your partner IS...and quite honestly he should not have been engaging with a 15 year old child on any level.

    Your conversations need to be with him, your partner and the father of your child.

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    Your about to have a child.

    Would you like someone doing this with your child? **** that. I would go straight to the friend. Partner or not. He's broken your trust for a second time. Why wouldn't he a third.

    I personally would leave him. Yes I sound harsh but cheating etc doesn't have to be intimately. Also let's also repeat her age.......

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    Default Stressing partner will cheat

    Ew. Just ew. 'Nothing can happen til she's old enough'??? WTAF?

    I wouldn't be communicating with her at all. I'd be telling him to get out of that house ASAP. I would be considering very strongly that I might leave him, and I'd also consider telling the mate, to be honest. It's not usually my style but I think you would want to know if it was your child.

    Personally I believe most teenage girls develop some kind of sense of a 'power' that they can have over older men and it can be intoxicating (so I'm not excusing her behaviour) BUT I also don't think they have the experience and maturity to know what they might be dealing with. There's a huge difference between flirting/talking and 'putting your money where your mouth is' so to speak. I feel that she is at risk and I think as a bystander you have some sort of obligation to protect her.

    Sorry if this isn't the answer you're looking for. But I'd save my anger for the one who has made a commitment to you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    Ew. Just ew. 'Nothing can happen til she's old enough'??? WTAF?

    I wouldn't be communicating with her at all. I'd be telling him to get out of that house ASAP. I would be considering very strongly that I might leave him, and I'd also consider telling the mate, to be honest. It's not usually my style but I think you would want to know if it was your child.

    Personally I believe most teenage girls develop some kind of sense of a 'power' that they can have over older men and it can be intoxicating (so I'm not excusing her behaviour) BUT I also don't think they have the experience and maturity to know what they might be dealing with. There's a huge difference between flirting/talking and 'putting your money where your mouth is' so to speak. I feel that she is at risk and I think as a bystander you have some sort of obligation to protect her.

    Sorry if this isn't the answer you're looking for. But I'd save my anger for the one who has made a commitment to you.
    This this this this this ^^^^

    The first time I would have booted his **** given the girl's age and told her father what you knew.

    But it's too late for that now, but I would still be booting his **** and telling the father. She is SEVENTEEN!!!! If that was my DD I would be beyond livid, I would be reporting this to the police.

    Your DP is 27 he was 25 when it first happened he is mature enough to know how wrong this is and needs to be reported to the police.

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    Your partner is ridiculously inappropriate, sleazy and predatory if that's the way he interacts with 15 year old girls. Reserve your anger and disdain for the adult who has made a commitment to you, not a teenage girl.

    As for how to proceed, I sincerely wish you luck in navigating this one. Leaving should be an option that you really think about

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    I'm surprised at the answers. I don't think a 10years gap is huge and that the guy is being a predator or whatever.

    Personally I had sex with older guys at that age - one was 24 and the other 30 (!)...

    I could flirt and I knew what I was doing.
    This girl may not but that's not really the question/problem.

    The issue is with your partner. He needs to get his act together.
    Yes I would ask him to come home and have a long discussion with him.
    I would also tell the dad (how old is he btw?) about what has been happening. It will probably end up the friendship or so it should IMO.

    Good luck OP

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    I don't think a 10 year gap is huge at say 25 and 35. At 15 and 25 the gap in development, maturity, life experience and power is huge.

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