@Summer - is Dr M doing your immune testing?
I have a plan! @Tahli I know you will be happy with me!)
So, I've been flirting around the edges of DE for about 18 months now and the difficulty has been lack of finances on my part, and my DH not willing to contribute financially at all. It's been a big issue in our marriage, and although things are very good now between us in almost every way - this is still a problem.
So, I've decided to go ahead with DE 'on my own' as I'm not willing to wait for DH to get his sh!t together. He definitely wants a DE baby, I have no doubts about that, but for whatever reason (and I can't get to the bottom of it - maybe we would in counseling) he has issues with him being the sole breadwinner and also having to fork out for DE. He just spent $50K increasing custody with his son, and pays $23K a year in child support, but apparently there's no funds for DE. Whatever.
So it's up to me and if lovely single ladies like @Tahli can do this on their own, then so can I!
My plan is:
- Start the process with Supercare on Monday to withdraw my Super for DE
- Do my very best to create $10K net profit in my business over the next few months (which is possible) to also go towards DE
- Book in for a hysteroscopy, NKC biopsy, scratch and flush with Wazza ASAP
- Book in with allergy specialist to see if I can get a diagnosis and plan for potential Autoimmune Progesterone Dermatitis
- Get any further testing that I need done and have appointment with Dr M for any further immune, clotting, NKC, HLA issues that come up (none have been found so far, only MTHFR)
- Book in with Dr Wyn-Williams in Brisbane for an assessment of whether I could have silent endo - he is apparently one of the best of being able to tell from vaginal ultrasound if he thinks it's an issue
- Decide on DE options - Hawaii, SA or Known Donors in Brisbane - I have emailed all of them now and will narrow it down over the next month or two as to which way I want to go and what I can afford
- Aim to cycle in January or February next year
I'll also see about getting DH into counseling to see if we are on the same page or not, or if I'll be doing this as a single woman. But I'm forging ahead regardless - I think DH will catch up once I've got things rolling - but I still think we'll need counseling to deal with the fall out as I feel completely alone and unsupported with this and actually think he's being quite cruel and selfish in regards to us starting our family with donor eggs. We've dealt really well with a lot of other stuff, so I feel quite confident in our relationship as a whole, but this is a sticking point that hasn't been resolved as yet and it's a biggie.
But I'm not waiting any longer. BIB you can add me to January for DE!!!
Last edited by Summer; 03-09-2016 at 11:38.
pingc383 I've already had lots of it done and it's all clear, but I do want to see if there are any other tests that have maybe been missed, and also I do need a NKC biopsy. I just need to find out exactly what he tests for and whether Wazza does the same. But yes, I will be speaking to him about immune issues, especially as we now suspect the autoimmune progesterone thing which is fairly rare.
@Summer - thanks for the info about Dr Wyn-Williams who may be able to tell from u/s whether you have silent endo or not. Better than doing a lap when you don't have it.
So happy to hear you have a plan! Plan Bs are great and I'm so excited for you!
I think I may have a cyst. My progesterone was 12 on day 3 of AF. My AF was super light and stopped on day 3. My dumb FS says a progesterone of 12, when it is normally 1, is not a problem and it's probably still going down. Thing is, it's going to, not down.
Never ever go with Dr Anne Clark at Fertility First. The worst clinic ever.
Summer just thought id let you know, i also fund all the ivf stuff we do with my own money. Dh and i went halves on the first cycle but once i realised i was pretty much gonna spend everything i could he was fine with supporting me totally and willing to do everything i needed but it didnt feel right for me to ask him to pay for my crazy dream. I also would have done de ivf as a 'single' woman if he wasnt willing to continue and he was fine with that too. So, i know probably, other people might find that weird but your relationship doesnt have to be the same as 'society' expects it to be. (My plan is that he will end up paying his share, when ive got a baby and say im not going back to work, lol). For me, i like it because it means i can do whatever i want ivf wise and i dont have to compromise or discuss or try to convince him of anything, which actually makes it less stressful for me. I figure its a bit like, as he is a musician, if he came to me and said, "ive got a crazy dream to become a rock star and i need you to fund my crazy dream so you have to give me all your spare money and remortgage your house etc.. to support my dream." I would be like, fruck that! You buy what u want with your money and I'll buy what i want with mine.
Im sorry that the non shared costs thing is an issue for you and dp though. I guess i just wanted to say, you're not alone in funding ivf yourself and i dont think its weird that you would go it alone but still remain with dp. I figure its no different to meeting someone if you had kids from a previous partner. And 'support' in a relationship can come in msny different forms. xox
Last edited by gorgeousgeorge; 03-09-2016 at 12:44.
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